Leaving it Behind

Disclaimers first. Well, not really a disclaimer just a clarification. Leah, this is in no way toward you. I doubt you would take it that way, I just didn't want to sound like "geez leah's doing it all wrong, let's find a way to subtlety tell her so." Not at all. It's just a similar subject that's been in my mind today and it clarified itself a bit two minutes ago with a sort of mini epiphany. This is why I want to get it down somewhere for the record.

All the music majors had a meeting today. We had to fill out an info card, and one of the questions asks for our emphasis. I also joined a new class today, and as the teacher was trying to get to know me a little, he asked me what my emphasis was. To both I answered commercial music (technology, recording based), but with reservations. I've been going back and forth a lot lately. Church music, teaching, theory (which would include composition), back to commercial. Today though I felt church music the strongest. Technically I can do two emphases and still graduate in four years (if I continue to take 17 units like I am now), but I've been thinking more about the job I really want to have and what my calling really is.

Today I had a realization about worship. It's such a production. Why do we spend thousands of dollars on new sound equipment, new instruments and powerpoint/slide show materials? I know basic preparations need to be made, but are these really it? Shouldn't we be able to worship just as (if not more) meaningfully and passionately with just our voices. Or a slightly out of tune guitar. Or a somewhat shaky piano? Granted, poor musicianship can be a distraction, but I wonder how much of the hype is really needed. How much of our singing is really about God and not about the sound? It's tough for me. I love to play music. I love it when the worship band is rockin and I feel like I'm about to bust a move down the aisle (which I've never done btw). But do I dance unto the Lord, or unto the beat that I'm digging?

I pictured myself coming into a church as a new worship leader/pastor, and tried to imagine where I'd start. Naturally I'd work on song selection. Naturally I'd work with the band. But I started thinking of that church that Matt Redman went to, when they stripped all the instruments away so that the congregation would come back to the real meaning of worship. I don't mean to rip him off, but he had such a good point. I don't think I could come in as a worship pastor and take away all the instruments my first week, but I think that's something I'd consider. That way the congregation (including myself) could learn to worship in spite of the sound. It would also give me some strategic time to work with the band and regroup and build a vision. Plusses all the way around. True worship in the church and one vision with the worship band. I'd want to correlate that time with the sermons as well. Do a series on worship and conditions of the heart while all this regrouping is going on.

I'd be so amazing to see a church family growing corporately on the same issues. And how cool after everything was said and done to see the transformation that could take place there, just because we were all seeking God. When you all seek God, He shows up, no question. There's no way I could even come close to guessing what He might do.

So that's my little epiphany. I have no clue if it was just kind of spur of the moment, or if it's some kind of direction. I have another year or so to decide, so there's not a huge rush. I have been praying a bit (probably about once a week for the past couple weeks) about God's will for my future by the advice of a friend of mine. I guess the next year will definitely be a time of seeking that out. For now though I'm just trying to get through these classes. They're hard enough.