Today is the day. That glorious day. The day I go home. Four hours from now I'll be leaving here on a jet plane. Bless the Lord. This day has been much too slow in coming.

With that said, it's been a good few days I have to say. Spent Wednesday hanging out with Mel which was awesome. Much too short a time, but I'll take anything I can get. I definitely ditched all my classes for that. Then that night I ended up hanging out with one of my roommates and two other friends/acquaintances (they're more her friends) which was great. We were talking for ages, then one of them said she had a craving for ice cream. So we tried to go to Foster's Freeze but it was closed, so we went to Wendy's and got frosties. Quite an excellent evening of unexpected fun. Yesterday was lax. My one real class was cancelled, so I did random things during the day, had choir, then went to a jazz concert at CSU Fullerton. Allen Vizzutti was a guest artist, and he is freaking amazing. He's one of the most talented, versatile trumpeters out there right now. I obviously only heard him play jazz last night, but he's also huge on the classical scene, not to mention a funny guy. Before a set of songs he was going to do with the CSUF band, he took out a picture and said "I always bring a picture of Jessica Simpson with me to look at. It reminds me to keep my solos simple." So funny. He also said he knew he didn't have to worry about Jessica showing up to the concert. Funny times.

Today was chapel, going out to breakfast/lunch with some friends, chilling, ditching a class, going to another class for extra credit, and packing. Tonight I'm catching an early dinner with a girl I don't really know but want to get to know. Exciting stuff. You've got love this list format I have going on. It's got to be so boring. I don't know if anyone cares. Anyway. After my dinner it's off to the airport for me. I cannot wait to see my MOM. She has next week off so I get to hang out with her and have a grand old time. And I get to write a term paper. YES! No.

With that I'm off to do a few more things before I head out. Next time I type it will be in lovely nor cal (unless I skip this thing altogether). Peace out.

So it's 10:30 and I'm waiting for a phone call after which I will go to bed. I'm tired tonight, which is a good feeling. Last week I felt like an insomniac and I did not like it. I don't know what's changed. I certainly haven't been more active. Whatever it is, I'll appreciate the extra sleep.

So time lately has grinded to a complete halt lately it seems. Maybe it's just the spring-break-can't-come-fast-enough phenomenon, I don't know. But I feel like things have been crawling for the past two weeks. But in just three short days I'll be on a jet plane headed home and that's a great feeling.

A lot less deep thinking lately. Not entirely sure why. A combination of needing rest and being lazy I think. I definitely don't want to give up on any of those topics (nor will current circumstances allow me to) but they're not as forefront for me right now. Honestly I'm in survival mode right now, which I actually really don't like. I shouldn't live in survival mode. Luckily the next few days are pretty dang full so hopefully they'll go by pretty fast. Tomorrow's a day of ditching to go see Mel in LA. I'm stoked. Soooo stoked. We haven't seen each other in over a year, which marks our longest absence since we met for the first time. Definitely a great reason to ditch class and even miss a quiz. Thursday is a whole stack of classes then a jazz concert at CS Fullerton. Hopefully it's a good one.

Russia meeting tonight was really good. As I came in we were taking prayer requests, which is something we haven't done as a large group before. I caught the last few and shared my own, then we all prayed together. It was bloody awesome. Everyone is really worn down and stressed out and just really under attack, so it was great to just slow down and be honest with each other and bring things to God. After we prayed a girl gave her testimony and it was just really cool. It wasn't that dramatic or anything but I was just so intrigued by her and her story. It was someone who I haven't been completely drawn to thus far so it was really cool to hear more about her and see a piece of her heart. Hopefully I'll have a chance to connect with her soon. What really blew me away is how much she remembered and how well she must listen. At different times she referenced two slightly obscure things from other people's testimonies (including mine) in comparison to her own. I know I definitely listened and was interested when other people have given their testimony, but I'm not sure I could pull out stuff like that. It was really cool.

Lately I've been listening to this chick named Bethany Dillon. She definitely cut her first CD when she was 15, and it's totally ridiculous. I've been listening to her acoustic EP a lot, which is totally amazing. This girl is really talented and best of all isn't the "pop princess" icon that the Christian music industry tends to make out of young girls. Deep lyrics, good music, and a voice that shouldn't be coming out of a fifteen year old. And she seems to be so mature and have such a sense of her calling. I've been pretty blown away by that recently.

I think that's enough for now. No phone call yet, but I'm thinking it's time to get ready for bed.

So the test from hell is over. It's so lovely. I pretty much have nothing going on school wise until after Spring break, which is so nice. Of course after Spring break the flood gates are going to break loose and all hell will rise, but that's a good three weeks away. Let's not think about that now.

Lots of things on my mind recently. Most of them have been building over the semester and some of them are more recent. I definitely wrote 7 pages in my paper journal last night on some of these topics. I think I've been letting myself become a bit intellectually constipated since I've been back here. Everyone's just so busy and everything I haven't really had too many conversations on these kind of issues. Or like none at all. I think none would be more accurate. Let's outline some of these topics:

- Am I more impacted by the fact that I am an American or by the gospel of Christ
- Is there any hope for the unpersecuted, consumeristic American church (which I am invariably a part of)
- Is a worship service all just emotional manipulation
- How do I comfort others going through difficult circumstances
- How do I comfort and love others without fostering dependency
- Why are so many people struggling with self image at my school and why is it that many of them didn't struggle in this area until they came here
- Why are 15 out of 19 people that come into the cardio room within half an hour at my school female, and is this related to the above question

That's just the tip of the iceberg folks. Lots of deep stuff, and all things I don't have figured out yet. I've been really haunted by that first question since I've been back from Aus, and it keeps coming up all over the place here which I really appreciate. I don't think I was ever fully aware of how much a product of my culture and of the world I am. Even my views of people and poverty and punishment and those sorts of things are so shaped by American republic and democracy rather than the Word of God. And we treat people really crappy in American culture as well. I know, this is the nation of "have it your way" and "the customer is always right," but that's all for a buck ya know? How do we treat each other outside of that? We're so wrapped up in our own little lives. My Russia team leader was telling us how in Russian culture if you tell someone you want to spend time with them they'll set aside like a whole day for you. In my stupid college bubble lets hang out means "okay I have an hour, let's try to squeeze in as much as I can." I understand business, I really do...but are we really loving people? Am I really loving people? I think my view is really skewed most of the time.

I think that's enough ranting for now. I just lost my train of thought.

Yet again so behind. Most of my day today has been spent studying for a monster mid-term I have on Monday. Baroque music. Need I say more? This is the most horrible exam I've ever had to study for. Oh yes, it has surpassed HIST 335 at Macquarie. Now that's saying something. At the end of day one of studying I finally feel like I'm actually understanding what I'm reading. That must count for something.

Spent this morning catching up with a friend who I rarely get to spend time with. She's extremely busy, and I treasure any time I can get with her. This morning was really good time. It wasn't "okay I have an hour for you, ready go." It truly was quality time, which is so important to me. And she knows it's important too. I always feel so wonderfully listened to whenever I hang out with her, and she's always very honest with me as well. I had the chance to show her my pictures and tell her some stories. I've shown my Oz pictures to two people at school. This was the first time I felt like I actually got to take my time. I've been back for [almost] three months. That's ridiculous (both about the pictures and about being back).

So most of my life lately has been filled with school work. Mid-terms are in full swing. Right now I can hardly see past Monday. All I know is that when I get home Monday evening around 7:30 my shoulders are going to feel a lot lighter than they do right now. Two more weeks until Spring break, I think I can make it. I can't wait to go home.

More serious things than that have been going on, but my brain is too fried to go through them right now. I've felt like things have been very intense spiritually lately, but in a good way. Relationships are interesting right now too, but I'm learning to trust God with those things. I know He's at work. I see Him at work already, it's amazing. So for now I'm going to keep watching The Sound of Music (the best movie of all time) and let myself wind down a bit. Maybe a bit more studying, then off to bed, only to do the same thing tomorrow.