Merry Christmas to all . . . and to all a good night!

Just kidding, it's only 12:45. In the spare moments I have between morning festivities and when family arrives this afternoon, I wanted to record something I realized yesterday. Last night I played guitar and led singing for one of our church's two Christmas eve services. The service was at 5pm, and was advertised as a kid-friendly service. We had some kids read a poem, sung a couple fun songs for them, and the service was a bit shorter than usual. One of the songs that we sang was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. The woman that runs the Children's ministry at our church wrote a Christmassy second verse for it. It was so cute. Not just that, the whole service. We sung Hark the Herald Angels sing, and they had given all the kids angels wings and told them to dance in the aisles during the song. Can anyone think of anything cuter than our pastor's three year old daughter dancing around the building wearing her pink Christmas dress and angels wings? She even decided to come to the front during her rounds.

But the thing I realized that was so funny actually has to do with the song Twinkle Twinkle. Ok, what in the world could be profound about Twinkle Twinkle? Nothing to my knowledge, this isn't profound. Eight years ago this December, my mom was running the Children's service at our church on Christmas eve. Each class was doing something different, and some of the younger kids were going to sing Twinkle Twinkle. My mom needed to find someone to play guitar for the kids while they sang. So I decided that I was going to take out her old guitar and learn how to play Twinkle Twinkle. Let me tell you, I definitely did not play for the kids on Chistmas eve. C F and G are dang hard chords for a 12-year-old's hands! But I was inspired, and that inspiration stuck.

So here I am, eight years later leading singing at our church on Christmas eve, and what song do we sing? Twinkle Twinkle. The song that started at all. And for that, I owe a debt of gratitude. Thank you, Twinkle Twinkle. You have changed my life in some obscure way.

I've been home for a week, and I haven't managed a single blog . . . I know. It's not like I haven't had the time. I've had plenty of time on my hands. I just haven't been up to much. We managed to lose power yet again on my first weekend home. Luckily it was only out for two hours and it was during the middle of the night. Much better than the two day episode last year. Don't ask, not a happy memory.

So I've mainly been hanging out, playing my guitar, recording a little bit, probably spending too much time on the computer, sleeping, and reading. I managed to put about four hours in at work yesterday night for an after hours sale we were having. It was nice to see everyone again (because literally everyone was there) and to have something to do and get paid for it. I'm going to work a couple hours in the office tomorrow which will be nice I think. I'm the type of person that needs something to do, otherwise I get bored and depressed and lonely. But not too bad, don't get all worried about me.

Actually it's funny, because I made a weird sort of connection today. I've been reading The Sacred Romance and thus far it's been talking a lot about the inner desires of our heart (the romance) that God has put in us. Opposing the romance are "arrows", those things which pierce our hearts and tell us we're foolish, there isn't something greater for our lives, that we're to be fearful. So I've been thinking about the Romance and the Romancer and what my desires are and how those relate to Him. Now, I have this deal with having nothing to do. I think it makes me feel unproductive . . . but it's more than that. And today I was thinking maybe that has something to do with my intuition that there's really more to life, that I'm meant to do something better, something lasting, something . . . I don't know. But my heart yearns for it. Even these stupid days of Christmas vacation and I try and try not to but I eventually find myself zoning out in front of the tv. Today I managed not to flick it on until about 3:30, and as I did I had this inner conversation - I guess it was a conversation with God as well - that I was smoldering something, repressing something by flicking it on. I was crushing some inner desire I had for something more. But what's one to do? I only have so many ideas of places to go and things to see. And let's face it, living in northern california there isn't always that much to do.

So where does that leave me? I know we need time to rest and time to kick back, and I know Christmas break is meant to be one of those times. God knows I'm glad to have a break from school. But I also know that there's a difference between rest and laziness. And I can't stand the laziness. But I also have tried to fill the laziness with "stuff" over and over again and I've seen that it doesn't work. So what does that mean? Am I meant to just pick up my Bible every single time I have nothing to do? Ok, I guess that's not a super bad idea but it seems a bit out of proportion or something. I'm kinda struggling with this today and I know that it's a good thing, it's just hard not to have immediate answers.

So here I am again with a lot of questions and not so many answers. I've grown pretty accustomed to this place over the last several months, so it's not surprising when the questions keep coming. They're good though, they're challenging me and helping me find a new intimacy with God. It's by no means over but I think things are going somewhere, which is encouraging. And with that, I'm out.

The day has finally arrived. It's been a long week, and today will be a long day, but I'm finally going home. For a month. That's a long time. Finals up to this point have gone smoothly. I'm not sure why, but I feel particularly uptight about today's tests. I know I'm in good shape for them and I know what I need to know, but I have this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. Last night it took me an hour and a half to fall asleep, and this morning I got up half an hour before my alarm. I think when I get home tonight I'll be exhausted.

I'm torn about going home. I'm so excited for the break and the chance to see my family. There are a couple friends I'm anxious to see after so many months apart. I can't wait to have no homework. I'm going to miss it here a lot though. I'll miss my roommates, miss my friends, miss chapel...all the good things about school. I'll miss my philosophy class too. I can't wait to be at home and just relax and think. That's something I've had very little time for this semester, and I'm glad I'll be able to go home and process a lot of stuff that's been floating around my mind.

One more random thing, all my roommates took a pretty famous personality test online and the results of mine seriously scared me. They have lists describing characteristics of people of each type divided into different categories like emotions, at home, at work, etc. The first ten or so characteristics were exactly like me. My mouth was gaping open. And for anyone that's familiar with this tests, I came out as a strong Meloncholic (over half of my total points), with a bit of phlegmatic. You can see what those things are here.

Isaiah 61

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
6 And you will be called priests of the LORD ,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

8 "For I, the LORD , love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

10 I delight greatly in the LORD ;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

Ok so if anyone really wants to know what's going on in my life I guess this isn't the best source of information you could have. Then again I think about three people read anyway so it doesn't matter too much. Anyway, thanksgiving is over, I'm back at school and things are in full force. I have my last paper due tomorrow, the first half of a final to take on Thursday, and my typical day of/calm before the storm Friday. Saturday are juries for voice lessons, all day Monday will be spent in Orange County for our end-of-semester performance with Linda Eder. Tuesday the madness of finals begins, and will last an intense three days until Thursday afternoon from whence I will pack up all my stuff and fly home. I'm not sure if I'm going to have time to breathe in between all these things. Then again, I'm breathing now so I must be ok.

Thanksgiving with the family was great. It was nice to be up north and experience a little cold and rain. It's nice to be at a house that isn't so ghetto and drive around on roads and freeways I feel comfortable on. I stopped by my work and was reassured that I am welcome to work over Christmas break - all four weeks of it.

In the meantime, things are surreal here. Actual classes are easy - reviews for finals and evaluations, but outside of class the pressure is mounting. Thus far we're all trying to keep each other sane by making sure we get the appropriate amount of goof-off time and sleep. It'll all be ok, it's just going to be the longest two weeks of my life. Ready go.

Service announcement: I AM GOING HOME TODAY!!!!!!!!

Well now that that's out of the way...out of the way? What am I talking about? That's not out of the way, that's super exciting. But in other news, my 21 page, 10+ hour paper is finally done. I have two more classes today (two were cancelled...yeah baby), some packing to do, then it's off to the airport for me. And that's all I can really think about now, so that's all I'm writing. Have a nice Tuesday (or Wed if you're in Oz).

In an attempt to keep this somewhat updated and relevant I figured I should write since I have the time. It's Thursday night, which means I'm done with classes for the week. Two words: Praise God. This week seemed extremely long, and was very full. I leave for home on Tuesday and I can hardly contain my excitement.

Here's a small recap of my past week: Friday my roommates and I went down to Irvine for the Jars of Clay/Caedmon's Call concert and had a ton of fun. The music was great, but by far the best part was the time I got to spend with them. I was bummed though, because CC didn't play a single song off Long Line of Leavers, which is my favorite CD. Ah well. Saturday evening I went to my roommate's house about an hour from here. We hung out that night and went to church Sunday morning. That night the two of us met up with Mel at LAX and had some good times in Westwood. It was really trippy to have these random couple of hours to spend with her. Not only that, but we were in the middle of LA. Great, but weird. The rest of the week has really been a blur. A lot of classes...who really cares about that? I certainly haven't lately. I've been late to so many classes lately, it's been pretty bad.

In an attempt to get a lot of work done and a lot of sleep in I'm leaving for San Diego again tomorrow. I realized today that I need to spend the weekend somewhere where I can go to bed at 10. It will be glorious. I called up my cousin and ran that by her, and she said it was perfect because she actually needs a babysitter for Friday night. So I'll be at her place and will basically be paid to do nothing, because her kids will be asleep. I always feel so relaxed while I'm down there, so I can't wait to just leave tomorrow. Things have felt too overwhelming here lately.

Did I mention that I'm going home in less than a week? Sooooooooooo excited. Some more exciting news - things with my plans to study in Australia are progressing nicely. I met with my dean and asked him some questions, and he was extremely supportive of me and told me to keep him updated. That prospect is getting more and more exciting every day as more and more steps are completed. I still have quite a ways to go, but a lot of major steps have already been taken.

Well, in the words of my good friend Melanie, it is time for me to update. So update I shall. It's obviously been a couple weeks since my birthday, and I've gotten over the initial shock of leaving teenagedom and embracing the 20s. Overall I had a really fun birthday, and a great weekend hanging out with my family in San Diego (none of whose houses burned down by the way, but it was dang close for all three of them).

It's been a really full couple of weeks, and honestly there's no way I can even hit the tip of the iceberg. I would like to say though that God is so good and I've so seen Him meet me here and am so grateful for the things He's doing in my heart. It's been heavy, but it has given me renewed focus and perspective which I wouldn't trade for anything right now.

To put it all into a nutshell, pretty much everyone around me right now (I think with the exception of one of my roommates) is encountering a heck of a lot of hard stuff. And while there's nothing happening to me directly, it's still really draining and hard to watch the people around you encounter such difficulty and try to support them. I'm not sick of it in the sense that I want to give up or tell them "who cares," it's just giving me some wear and tear as well. It's hard to watch people during such hard times, and it's hard to remember that I can't fix everything. But I know that God is working so heavily on people's hearts right now and refining them and healing wounds in their hearts and making them more complete in Him. To see that at work has been amazing, it's just taken a lot out of me.

On a much more superficial note, all of my roommates and I are going to the Jars of Clay/Caedmon's Call concert tonight and I'm super stoked about it. The past couple weeks I've hung out with my roommates a lot more again (more how it was at the beginning of the year) and I have a renewed thankfulness for all of them. I live with three amazing, beautiful girls and I'm blessed by them every day. Not to mention we have way too much fun together and can laugh for hours about the stupidest things in the world.

Well I guess that's enough for now. Hopefully I'll be a little bit better about updating this. But then again, things are starting to get really insane with school. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

It's official - I'm old.

Things are surreal right now. The sky has been filled with smoke for a couple days, but today was by far the worst. Seven fires (I believe) are raging around southern california right now. Three of my four cousins in San Diego have been evacuated, but thus far things are looking good for them. It seems like the foothills near my school are the only mountains that aren't on fire around here. I (and I know many others) would appreciate your prayers for this whole area. A few people have lost their lives, and many have lost houses. My roommate is facing a pretty nasty drive home from her house in Ventura county. Her house is in a very safe area, but the freeways she needs to take to come back to school are not. I'm sure some students here are from areas that are burning. Time to pray for rain.

My parents are coming tomorrow. I am sooooooooooo excited!!!

Ok so I've got a bunch of things spinning through my mind right now and I think I need to go "blah" and just get them all out. So it probably won't be pretty and it might sound a bit angry. I just need to get it out so I can move on.

Today a pretty famous worship leader did chapel for our school. This guy has wrote some incredible songs, and we do a lot of them at chapel pretty regularly. He seems like such a cool guy and you can tell his heart is in the right place. He has such a heart for worship and a desire to just bless God and be in His presence. But man, today felt like such a show. Not necessarily because of what he did, but because of how all the students responded.

This is the second time this month I've been able to worship with some pretty "famous" worship leaders, and each time I've been pretty appauled at how people can act. I just wonder if anyone realizes how much idolatry is taking place, and how as a whole body I don't think our hearts were turned completely toward God. Of course I can't be one to judge that, but there are things that people do that can make that clear.

I'm reading two books on worship right now, and in one of them it's talked about idolatry and just the rock culture in general and how we've become more worshippers of music rather than responding to God in worship through music. Today one of the guys on the worship team played this really really amazing flute solo with the worship leader on guitar. He got a standing ovation. A couple times the worship leader asked us to give a clap for God. What did he get? A mediocre round of applause. Does anyone else see the problem with that? Things like that happened over and over; it was so out of proportion.

Some personal pet peaves...it drives me nuts when worship leaders do a couple of things. For one, I hate it when they ask you to sing louder. Louder does not equal more heart felt or "better" praise. Generally (though I think there are times when it works) I also don't like it when worship leaders have just the guys or girls sing a section. I mean, I guess there's no one absolutely forcing you to obey, but what if I really just need to sing that section of a song? Not to mention that fact that it separates us. We come together to worship as the body, not as the female body and the male body.

Despite that, I know there were a lot of good things going on this morning, I just wasn't there. It didn't help that I was in an extremely uncomfortable part of the bleaches, pushed right up against the end and could hardly stand up straight because of the barrier I was next to. It also didn't help how my roommate decided to not tell me that she was sitting with someone else and wouldn't be saving seats for us like she had said less than 24 hours before. Communication was stellar. Not a huge deal, but not pleasant.

So now hopefully I can go about my day like normal and just forget about the frustrations. How about this for a happy thought, my parents are coming the day after tomorrow!

My stomach is churning. I just got back from the store where I bought what was necessary for dinner tonight: chocolate chips, blueberries, syrup, bananas, and ego waffles. Granted not all of those things are going to be used for dinner tonight, but the majority are. So we're having breakfast (pancakes) for dinner. Maybe it's a bit juvenille, but I don't really care. In fact, maybe I'll make a pancake in the shape of Mickey Mouse. That would be appropriate for my southern California residence.

Now that I've spent some time discussing the importance of breakfast food I'd like to move on to something a bit more substantial. Sometimes life comes up and just bites you right in the butt. Sounds like a painful experience and it definitely sometimes is, but I think today was just more of a surprise. For example, I talked to my sister on the phone today for about 15 minutes. Fifteen minutes requires a conversation. If you know anything about the relationship between my sister and I you will understand the significance of this statement. Surprise? Much. More substantial shock, finding out one of your best friend's Dad is in the hospital. Nothing extremely major but still something you don't wake up expecting. Life happens, and God taps you on the shoulder and says, "Hey remember all that stuff you were preoccupied with? It's not really important." Right. I'll try to remember that one for more than 30 minutes.

So I just deleted the starts of a post because it was so....well I don't know what it was but I didn't like it. So maybe I'll write more later when I have something to say. Happy Saturday everyone.

I read a bunch of old journals last night. I read, and then I cried. I cried for two reasons - first, it brought back some memories of things I'd forgotten. Not all bad things, but all heavy things. Second, I cried with a mixture of joy and gratitude. It's been a few years now, and I've somewhat forgotten the way things were then. How good can God be? How loving is He that he stuck by me through that time and proved his love over and over when I was so faithless. Hopefully more later.

I would like to take this opportunity to say that the newest Caedmon's Call album Back Home is completely amazing. I got it several months ago, but never really listened to it a lot because I had bought some other new CDs at the same time. Generally it takes me a while to get into a cd as well, so that didn't really help. While I was in Australia we listened to it a few times and I thought, "Wow, that's pretty good." Well, I'd forgotten about that until this weekend when I pulled it out again, and I'm completely blown away. The one thing that bothers me though is how alomst none of the songs are by them. Granted they're awesome songs, but one of my favorite parts about listening to music is seeing the piece of the person's heart who wrote it. So I guess I still get a portion of a person's heart, it's just not the person who's singing it. But it's not like it's impossible to take a song and make it your own, especially when we're talking about God's character, life, love, and other things of that nature.

It's been a random week. It started out pretty bad, but got better eventually. Thursday actually turned out to be a really good day to my surprise. My immediate responce was "Ok who was praying for me today?" Joan suggested it was Jesus. Yes, that's quite true. He's got that intercessory thing down I reckon.

I've come to the conclusion over the last week or two that I'm so not ready to get married for many, many reasons. There are the obvious ones like I'm young, I'm still in school, and there's still so much I want to do before I get "tied down." That's not to say I don't want to get married, I just don't want to right now. But along with knowing I don't want to, I also realize I'm not ready too. The past couple weeks I've seen how deficient I can be in my relationships in general, and a marriage relationship is an even stronger and more important one. If I can't treat my friends the way I'm called to treat them all the time, how in the world am I going to treat my husband? I'm so not ready for that kind of commitment or unconditional love.

I'm also realizing I totally don't have the relationship with God someone should have before they get married. That's not to say you need to have everything together before you get married, but I guess I'm just figuring out I'm not as mature as I thought I was. I can be so hot and cold...so non-commital, and that's a really bad trait in general. Until my love for God is 100% commited and not so based on emotion (though it should involve emotion) there's no way I'm ready to get married. I think I owe that to my spouse (as well as to God!). Anyway, that's my random tanget for the day, even though it's not so random to me because I've been thinking about it for a while.

I guess that's enough for now. Maybe I'll get back to my paper and write another paragraph or so. Only two pages (or less) to go!

I won the pumpkin carving contest. I did elmo. Granted I had to hold him together with a couple toothpicks by the end of it because a bunch of cuts were too close together, but when we turned out the lights that thing looked awesome. My aunt and uncle tell me I must come back next year to defend my title. If I'm not out of the country I'll be there for sure.

I don't know if it's the contrast or just that things are getting really hard at school (or maybe both) but it's definitely been back to reality this week. Actually I've pretty much hated this week. Maybe not hated, but I definitely haven't liked it. It's just been a long, hard week...and my hardest day (Thurs) is yet to come. I do have a pretty big weight off my shoulders though, because I just took my philosophy exam today. Twenty percent of my grade, and I think I nailed the sucker.

I don't really have anything else of substance to say, I'm too brain dead. I can't wait for December...

I'm in San Diego right now. It's pure bliss. I'm having an awesome time with my fam. The Hills concert was amazing. Tonight everyone's coming over to my aunt and uncle's and we're having a pumpkin carving contest. I've never carved a pumpkin. When I told my aunt that she said "Oh good, we'll all have a great time teasing you." Thanks. But little do they know I made a deal with my little cousin who judges every year. They might be surprised when she announces the winner tonight. Here's hoping. More to come.

I think I'm going to go melanie style and just put a disclaimer up before this one. I'm not guaranteeing that any of this is going to make much sense or come together in any sort of coherent manner. It's been too weird of a week and I'm also way too tired from going to bed late this weekend and being woken up by the lovely (sarcasm) swap meet that takes place 20ft from our house on Sundays.

This week has definitely been long. And full. And weird. And as glad I am that it's over and that this week I leave for San Diego and get to see Hillsong, I'm so thankful for last week. I'm thankful for the mini revelations it held, the seriousness of it all, and the way it all brought me back to God.

Could I be any more vague? Probably. I am, after all, the queen of vague. This week has just been filled with so many different feelings. At times it's been awkward, I've been angry, I've been happy, I've been expectant, I've been bored, I've been busy, I've been totally amped, I've been totally tired, I've been full of praise, and I've been totally confused. The theme of today has been waiting for sure. I feel so disconnected right now. I keep trying to get involved in churches down here and I feel like everything is at a standstill and just won't work out. I know people need help in churches. Can I just get myself to the right one and find my place in that body? Today was just like, you know what God I really want to get plugged in somewhere - anywhere, so please just make it happen. I've been here for a month, but today for the first time I'm really understanding that I just need to trust Him and wait on Him for this one. So that doesn't mean I'm going to sit here at my computer until He tells me to move, but I'm not going to stress about it. I'm not going to worry and wonder if anything is going to happen. I know things are going to happen and I know it's so going to be Him and all about Him and for Him. And that's more than enough for me.

I've been reflecting heaps this weekend on the ways I hear from God, and how God wired us all differently to hear and respond to Him in different ways. More specifically, God isn't going to speak to me the same way He speaks to someone else. And that doesn't make one way better than the other. It all comes back to realizing that God made us as a body and we need every part. God taught me that in a massive way last year, and I know He's going to continue to do so.

Speaking of last year, I read through my paper journal from last year last night. Mainly it contains a bunch of stuff from last October after my grandfather died. It also has a bunch of study questions from the books Relationships: The Key to Love, Sex and Everything Else (Dean Sherman) and Hearing God's Voice (Blackaby). I didn't get to the questions from Hearing God's Voice, but it was so interesting to go back through some of my thoughts, struggles, and lessons from last year. I almost started crying a couple times as I read entries from October. I have a million times more closure now than I did at that point, but it was hard remembering the pain I felt at that time. I still miss my grandfather a lot and the one year anniversary of his death is coming up soon. But I'm so grateful for the healing God has brought to my life in being able to say goodbye to him and accept that he's gone.

Speaking of healing, I'm just so overwhelmed in general at the healing that God has brought to my life over the past couple years. As I look at specific relationships, certain struggles with sin, and other hurts that have occurred God has been so faithful to build me up in those areas and bring wholeness. That's not to say by any means that I'm perfect, but I'm so in awe in the healing that's taken place over the last year or two. I know I've said that in here before, but I don't think enough praise and thanks can be given to God for that. I'm so thankful that he's brought me through what He has and that He's going to continue to work in me and make me complete.

Lately I've had this abundance of chord progressions coming to me out of nowhere. I guess it's not an abundance, but then again I think I'd consider anything an abundance after the serious drought I've had lately. I've been doing so much thinking and reflecting lately (a lot of it spurred just by being back at school and having to use my mind again) that I think a song might make its way out sometime soon. It's only a matter of time.

I just heard the most incredible jazz duet ever. Actually, the most incredible musicians ever. I can't even describe the guitarwork I saw, or the awesome technique and beauty of the voice I just heard. When I got back to my place tonight after the concert I started to realize something. I was reading one of my assigned books for school that's about worship. It's been talking a lot about how worship starts with wonderment. Wonderment, faith, doubt, and realizing that you can't explain everything has been a huge theme for me this month. It seems like it doesn't matter what class I'm in, those subjects get addressed.

So I realized as much as I was completely amazed by this concert, as much as I was captivated, confused, and in awe of this guitar player he's human and it's a guitar. I'm a guitarist and I had little comprehension of what this guy was doing. How much more mystery is there to God? So why don't I leave a worship service totally floored by His mystery like I did from this concert? Why don't I want to shout because there's nothing I can do to express the feeling I feel after witnessing something so incredible. Why don't I just stop and think and reflect on how completely amazing God is? We're such intellectuals. We try to explain God away but really He cannot be explained. Why do we hate saying that? We hate to admit we don't know, we hate to admit we have doubts, we hate to admit we don't understand.

Well, here I am to say God is just plain freaky. And it makes me want to praise Him all the more. It makes me want to trust him all the more. It makes me want to love him all the more. Lord, be all and end all with me. Help me live every moment in wonder.

So it's been a good day. My funky mood from earlier this weekend is gone, and I've had a really good couple of days just hanging out with people here, being encouraged and just relaxing. Tonight the two friends that were supposed to come over on Friday came over and we had an awesome time. They just left actually. After dinner we did a bit of improv on the guitar (to my specialty - the emo song) and I sang a bit. Very randomly one of them asked me to sing something I wrote. I didn't even realize she knew that I wrote songs. So my roommate told me a couple to play. I forget how cool but how incredibly overwhelming it is to play my music for people. It can either be really bad or really good, because I feel like I'm exposing so much of my heart when I do it. (btw leah I gave zero disclaimers before I sang.)

I had a really good time at church this morning too. I went by myself since my roomies were still gone, but that can be really good sometimes. There are times when you have to get rid of all the distractions so you can really listen for God. After church I had In-N-Out because the church had one of those trucks come out to feed everyone. Soooooorrrreee good. It'd been a while since I'd had a good In-N-Out burger. After church I went to guitar center (sell-out I know, don't tell my bosses back at home) to buy some guitar strings. I played a Taylor with the expression system. Oh my gosh. The fact that one of those things would empty my bank account completely was enough to deter me from buying one though. Maybe some day I'll have my work at home special order one for me so they can sell it to me cheap.

I'm pumped for tomorrow. My sole "real" class got cancelled, so all I have is a PE class in the morning and this mandatory "do nothing" forum in the afternoon. So basically my weekend's going to be four days long.

It's been a weird day. Actually it's been a kinda bad day with some weirdness mixed in. Or maybe I'm just using the word weird to mask how I really feel right now. I don't know. Two of my roommates are away this weekend, the other will be gone half the weekend. They're not all going home, but for some reason I take it that way. They can all go home. They've all seen their parents this week. Heck, I think by the end of the day they all will have seen their parents today. And it's not like I'm having massive issues with missing my parents, it just angers me sometimes that they can do that and I can't. They can talk flippantly about going home for the weekend whereas I have to make plans for a massive drive or arrange to buy a plane ticket.

And my dinner plans got cancelled. Not a big deal I know, but it is. Two friends were going to come over and I was going to make them dinner and we were going to hang out and have a great time. I just knew it. Now they're not. Now I'm going to be alone all night unless another friend decides to call me back like she said she would and I can hang out with her later tonight. Meanwhile I have no clue what I'm doing for dinner, I have no meals left on my card, and I don't really feel like making something for myself. But I don't want to go buy dinner either. Man, I am in such a horrible mood.

You know how sometimes the day isn't so great, so then any little thing that happens makes it that much worse? I think that's kinda how today's been. To top everything off my internet is completely jacked on my computer, I think beyond recovery without some help from tech support here. Which, of course, is closed until Monday. Yay for an internet connection that my parents are paying quite a bit of money for that works only every now and again. If my school was a normal ISP they'd be out of business. I'm sick of it.

But you know, in a couple days it's not going to matter. I'm going to be fine, my roommates will be home, I'll have plenty of things to do. Just wish I didn't feel like this right now.

The internet is definitely not working at my apartment. It's very annoying. A lot has happened this week. I've had to make a lot of decisions. None of them were really forced on me, it's just the way it worked out. I'm still praying about working with that high school group. Thus far I'm feeling good about it. Today I dropped my first required class for one of my emphases. That's right folks, that means I've completely dropped one of my two emphases. Let me tell you, it feels good. I'm also strongly considering a philosophy minor. I know what you're thinking, "Didn't you just drop an emphasis to make your life easier?" Well, a philosophy minor is less units than the emphasis. Ridiculous I know. Nonetheless, I'm stoked at the possibility. I'm going to have to talk about my philosophy class more in depth sometime. But not right now when I'm typing on this crappy mac keyboard. You have no clue how many times I've had to hit backspace.

I don't have anything in particular on my mind, but I've run out of things (I have the brain power) to do, so I figured I might as well update since I haven't in a while. School has become insane, but not completely chaotic which is nice. There's a lot of work but I'm staying on top of things so it hasn't been completely overwhelming. I can definitely see that these three day weekends are going to come in handy, because I have a heck of a lot of reading to do each week. Note to self: Don't take two junior/senior level classes concurrently during your sophomore year.

I met with the youth pastor of the church I've been going to here to talk to him about working with the High School group at the church. The meeting went really well, and I'm totally amazed at the format of the group. It is the complete ideal for what I like and at least think I'm good at. They do some of the typical youth group stuff with hanging out, games, and worship, but then rather than a big talk they split off into small groups and do a bible study/discussion that way. Each leader is responsible for around five kids, and you have those kids every week and are responsible to stay in touch with them during the week. I LOVE doing stuff like that with small groups and one-on-one. Generally I become somewhat intimidated by the large group format, but working with a small group of kids is so much more natural for me. And it gives me the chance to form deep relationships with the girls in my group. So, I'm praying about that and so is the youth pastor, and we're going to talk about what we think on Sunday. I'm stoked. Pray for me on that one if you would.

Well, I made it through my first week of classes. So what if it was only two days. And I know what you're thinking, it's only Thursday, how is this possible? That is the beauty of two unit music classes my friend, they're on mondays and wednesdays. So tomorrow while all my fellow students are grueling in class, I will be relaxing and doing homework from the comfort of my "home."

Far out, I just wanted to say that Jesus is so rad. Today's been a cool day. I'm extremely tired, but it's been so cool to hang out with my roomies and have an awesome time with them. It's really weird to me that I'm living with my friends. Last year was so not like this. Church this morning was really awesome as well. Apparently the church I go to here sent some people to Hillsong Conference and they had some people get up this morning and talk about it. That was definitely very distracting and sentimental to me.

Just a note to say I got here safe and things are going well. The house is slowly coming together. More later.

Last night I wasn't tired so I decided to read through some of my old journals. It proved a bit difficult. I have a bad habit of getting halfway (or less) through a journal then starting another one. I'm not sure why it happens, but it always seems to. I read four different journals, but the amount of writing in those journals was hardly enough to fill two. It was really interesting to read things from my freshman and sophomore years of high school. In some ways it doesn't seem that long ago, but really some of that stuff was almost five years old. It's crazy to see where I've been and how I've changed and grown. I am literally a different person then I was five years ago. Of course a 20 year old is going to be different than a 15 year old, but I'm still amazed at what God has done. It was a kick to read through some of my old prayers and see the issues that I had then and how some of them are so different than now, but some of them are still exactly the same. This sounds bad, but I also couldn't believe my maturity. I found myself wondering if I was just really good at the Christianese or if I was actually that mature in my faith at 15 and 16. Maybe I combination of both. It's interesting though to now be second guessing my own sincerity four to five years ago. God knows though, and I'm so grateful for all the work He did in my life during those years and all He's continued to do.

Yesterday was my last day at work, and today was filled with packing. Well, I wouldn't say it was filled with packing, but that was the main activity of the day. I hate packing so much. Besides things which involve pain or extreme discomfort, packing is my least favourite activity in the world. Unpacking is fine; not my favorite, but it's a million times better than packing. Tomorrow's the big moving day. We're actually not leaving as early as originally intended which will be nice on the sleep tonight. Still, it's going to be a long haul tomorrow. I think I'll have a good time though, busting some tunes with my mom.

I am shocked at how good I feel right now. I'm not upset at all. I'm not nostalgic at all. Heck, I'm practically excited. This year stands in stark contrast to last year. I think mainly it's because there's so many less unknowns. I know who I'm living with, I know how things at the school work, I know the area fairly well, I have a kitchen and a living room, and I have friends. Adjusting will be so much easier this year. That's not to say I won't be challenged. I'm really hoping for the challenge actually; eager for a chance to be changed and worked on by God. Since things have gotten back to normal after Australia things between He and I have gotten a bit lax again (definitely on my part, not His). I'm stoked to have the change of scenery and change of schedule. I'm stoked to go to chapel and worship Jesus four times a week. Far out man, I can't believe I'm excited for school. God is good.

Can I just say that C.S. Lewis was/is a genius? This book is so amazing. This portion really struck me as I read it last night, and instantly I knew I wanted to put it up here. In this part of the story, a busload of people from hell have taken a bus trip to the edge of heaven, and each of the "ghost people" (from hell) talk to a "solid person" (from heaven) and the solid person tries to help the ghost go into the mountains where they will eventually become solid and enter into heaven like they did. The book contains many discussions between the ghosts and the solid people, which the narrator (the main character) listens to from a distance. The following is his conversation with his solid person after listening to a discussion in which the ghost's problem was that her "love" for her dead son had completely consumed her and squelched out any desire she had for God and knowing his love.

'Is there any hope for her, Sir?'
'Aye, there's some. What she calls her love for her son has turned into a poor, prickly, astringent sort of thing. But there's still a wee spark of something that's not just herself in it. That might be blown into a flame.'
'Then some natural feelings are really better than others - I mean, are a better starting-point for the real thing?'
'Better and worse. There's something in natural affection which will lead it on to eternal love more easily than natural appetite could be led on. But there's also something in it which makes it easier to stop at the natural level and mistake it for the heavenly. Brass is mistaken for gold more easily than clay is. And if it finally refuses conversion its corruption will be worse than the corruption of what ye call the lower passions. It is a stronger angel, and therefore, when it falls, a fiercer devil.'

So just after I've gotten off the phone with Mel and told her how I'm over the whole blogging deal I've decided to blog something. Weird, but I figured I would try it. It's not as though stuff hasn't been happening and it's not as though I haven't had things on my mind. I think when it comes down to it I'm just fed up with the fact that this is all electronic. There was a time that I really liked the convenience of mass updates but now I'm somewhat fed up with it. It serves some cool purposes i.e. being able to recount my whole trip to Australia. (btw Joan that was sweet that you liked it that much, I'm glad.) I think I'm over the idea of putting my thoughts out there and just letting them be "out there," rather than sharing them with someone personally. That's enough about that.

I think along with that I haven't been updating because I don't want the Australia bit to die and go to the next page. There is a part of me that's still really holding on to the trip, and as I wrap each detail up and things get more back to normal it frightens me. It frightens me because I don't want to forget. I don't want the things I learned to slip away just like the blogs will eventually slide off the front page. I got some photos back today from the trip that I got enlarged, and I'm stoked to have them but another part of me is disappointed. Getting the pictures back is just another reminder that it's over. Soon they'll be no more organizing those things, no more stories to tell, no more Tim Tams to eat (I only brought back one package. What was I thinking?). This is getting depressing.

In other news, it's been a really full last couple of days. I've done some school shopping, been back in the studio, TPed my pastor's house, worked a lot of hours, and got my hair cut (yay!). I bought three books yesterday. Two by C.S. Lewis, and one by John Eldredge. I'm reading one of the C.S. Lewis ones right now - The Great Divorce. I'm about a quarter of the way through it and it's really good so far. Lewis is seriously a genius, the way he makes you think is astounding. The story is fiction so there's a bunch of symbolism; it's sort of grown-up The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

I've been rocking out to Hillsong a lot in my car recently (I'll be mailing the CD this week Leah). So much so that I'm sure I look like a complete idiot to anyone who's driving around me. We're talking all out air guitar and drums, complete with head and upper body movement. I can't wait to freak my roommate out in a couple weeks when I put the CD on in our room and just start going off.

Speaking of roommates, I'm moving on Friday. This is a fact that definitely has not hit me yet. How do I know, you ask. Let me tell you. If it had really hit me that I was moving, I think I'd be freaking out. I'd be getting nostalgic over really stupid things. Instead I'm just oblivious. I just realized half an hour ago that I'm going to have to say a bunch of goodbyes tomorrow at church. Lame. I hate leaving.

I'd say that's enough for now. Or for a long time, who knows. We'll see how I feel about blogging tomorrow.

still Saturday, August 8
The drive out was gorgeous and I didn't mind its length because there was cool scenery to look at. Finally we got there and had a look around and figured out what we could do. It was about 10 till five, and the 5:00 tour just happened to be the cave we had joked about - The Temple of Baal. This led to many more jokes and much fun. The tour was $22, but was amazing and totally worth it. Weird as it sounds, we had a great time down in the cave and got to see and learn about something that you don't normally see or even get to think about.

The tour was excellet and our tour guide great. After and hour and a half we were back on the surface and getting in the car to leave. It took us hardly any time to get out of the park, which none of us really gave a second thought to. But after about 15 minutes of driving we ended up on a dirt road, and nothing and no direction seemed right. After a couple minutes I remembered a bunch of stuff that we passed on our way in but hadn't passed on our way out. So we headed back to the park, then drove through the correct exit. I swear Jesus made those dirt roads appear, and if they hadn't been there we could have been lost for hours and hours. From there it was smooth sailing for a few hours, until we got slightly lost trying to find Chili's "texas grill."

Leah and Mel were so stoked, it was hilarious. We got chips and salsa (which were pretty dodgey, even after ordering a new basket) and all got Mexican food. The service was pretty nuts because this waitress was covering like 10 tables. She stuffed our order a bit so we ended up getting a free dessert out of it. I ordered a drink but it was nasty, so Mel took it and drank about half. Everyone had a bit of alcohol...hmm nevermind that sentance sounds bad ;o) It was a good evening with lots of fun, food, and Spanish pronounciation lessons. We finally got home around 11:30 and bummed around a little before going to bed. I was glad that we decided to get up early-ish and hang out in the morning rather than stay up really late at night (which is what usually happens).

So Leah and I went to bed and I guess I might have slept for a little while, but then I woke up and could not fall back to sleep... Thus began the hours where Krystle could not fall asleep and Leah didn't because she's nice...

Finally though I feel asleep until Leah woke up about half an hour before our alarm was to go off. Mel came down about 7:30 to say good morning and get up. Eventually we all got ready and we headed out to Manly beach. After going to other beaches, Manly was not what I expected. It's a city beach, right next to the downtown area. We grabbed a bite to eat then walked along the beach and up around it a ways. It was nice to stay busy and not be moping around the house. Eventually it came time to leave, and I said my goodbyes to Al. Then Mel and Leah and I hoped in her car and were off to the airport. We got there heaps early and my check-in was a breeze, so Mel and Leah hung out with me for about an hour. We didn't really say much but it wasn't really sad either which was good. I had cried for about half the ride in, but was over it for the moment. Finally 1:00 came and I headed toward my gate. The goodbyes were hard as usual, but good as well...

Thus far (with about an hour to go!) the flight has been excellent, especially in camparison to my flight over. I've only watched one movie (compared to three on my way over) but the time has gone so much faster. Sitting next to me are a mother and daughter (both adults) who are on their way to the Carribbean to look after and bring home their brother/son. They're both really nice, and I've been able to talk to them a bit without pressure to talk heaps - it's been a good balance...

still Thursday, August 7
Once we got home I talked with Al a while about the govt. here (Oz) and how they handle drugs i.e methedone treatment, teaching safe drug usage, and "safe" cocaine houses... We all sat and talked a bit, and Leah made us focattia with ham, swiss and avocado. It was really good. We headed off to bed around 11:15. Leah and I talked a little, but not much...

Saturday, August 9
Well, I'm on the plane on my way back to the states. And since I have WAY too much time to kill I might as well catch this thing up with the rest of the trip.

Thursday Leah had to work heaps which was a bummer, but it still turned out to be a really cool day. Leah went to work in the morning so I waited for Al to come home after her Scripture class. Once she got back we met up with Leah for lunch somewhere by the water. I had a hamburger with beetroot - it tastes fine with other things. We talked and ate and hung out a while, then Leah left for her second shift at work.

Al took me out to west head for the afternoon to watch the sunset. We hiked a trail to America Bay, which Al thought would be appropriate. THe hike was about 15 minutes, and the bay was gorgeous. There was a waterfall there as well, but it was pretty scare due to the drought I'm sure. We hung there a while climbing the rocks and getting different views of the bay. After we hiked back Al drove around for a while in search of a place that would have a great sunset picture. We eventually found a spot, and ended up standing on Al's car to get the picture. I also got to see the view out from West Head. You could see the lighthouse and Palm Beach - places we had already been and seen West Head from.

After the sunset we drove straight to Cremourne and parked at Leah's house. I led Al down the trail to the ferry, which was good work on my part to remember the way. Once in the city we walked up George St looking for Soup Plus where we were to meet Leah for dinner. We didn't see it and were a bit early, so we hit a Starbucks. There I got my THIRD crappy Aussie Starbucks. It was somewhat humorous, but mostly annoying. Leah was a bit late due to an accident with a bus and taxi she saw happen in front of her. Once she got there we headed down George, unfortunately the wrong way. After a lot of walking we finally got there after a phone call to Al and Leah's friend Susan.

The club was cool, though not at all what I expected. The meals were home-cooked style, and we sat at long wood tables and ordered our meals at the far end of the place. Leah bought me a drink after I tried hers and I liked it - curacao and oj. There was a quartet (jazz) playing that night - vocals, guitar, upright bass, and keys. I normally don't like jazz singing much, but this woman had a great sound and was really into it without overdoing it. The guitar player rocked and was fun to watch as well. We talked and laughed, and it was a great, relaxing evening. That night we got back and went to bed relatively quickly because we wanted to get up to watch the sunrise that morning....

We got up the next morning a bit after six with good intentions, but in the end decided it would be better just to head straight to the Blue Mountains before morning traffic (which apparently is worst about 8). So we headed tp Al's to shower, and I called Mel and told her we'd be there about 45 minutes earlier than planned. Eventually we got off, picked up Mel and began the drive out to the mountains, but not before a stop for breaky at Mackas. Apparently you can't order milk there; they got me some anyway though.

After a couple more hours we made it to our final destination. We went down the giant staircase and saw the three sisters, then went on a 2.5 km hike to the tram that would take us back up the mountain. The tram was crazy and went up the hill at a 75 degree angle or something ridiculous like that. We made it up alive though, and eventually got back to Leah's car.

From there we went on a quest to find this great lolly shop Leah remembered, but yet against it could not be found. We asked a guy for directions and got there without much more trouble. It was a cool shop and had a section of rare American candy that isn't normally sold in Australia - Butterfingers, Jr Mints, Hot Tamales etc. After hanging there we went to lunch at an overpriced cafe. After lunch we took off for our long drive to Jenolan caves.

Wednesday, August 6
RIght now I'm sitting at Leah's house waiting for her to get off her hour shift of work. I'm almost caught up, so I'll write about yesterday.

Leah and Al both had to work early, so I slept until 10 (which was later than I intended) and got to lounge a bit. Al got home around 11:30, so we hung around and talked a little. Then Linda asked me to play a song of mine so I did. I played Clinging first, then they asked for more so I played my newest and What is Life. It was funny because I had to put a disclaimer on every song.

Eventually Leah got home and had some lunch and we headed off to see some beaches. They took me to their High School and Avalon beach. We went to the Bible gardens, which is basically a house with an amazing view and a plaque about the Bible. We went to some cliffs as well where there was an AMAZING view, and after we got high enough you could see the city off in the distance. I was totally taken with the view and could have stayed there for ages just starring at it. We had to go though so we made the trek down the hill. Leah and I ran about 2/3 of it which was great fun.

Once we got home Leah cooked some stir fry that was absolutely amazing. It was so nice to have something home cooked. After dinner we all watched The Princess Bride ("truely you have a dizzying intellect"). Al and I talked politics after the movie while Leah showered. It was interesting to get an Aussie perspective. We all stayed up and talked a bit more until about 12, then went to bed. I wasn't tired at all because of sleeping in, and Leah was in pretty good shape so we stayed up talking for quite a while...

Thursday, August 7
After about 2 hours of sleep (maybe more but it felt like about 2) Leah and I got up to go to her house. She dropped me off there and set up the net for me then went to work for an hour training. She got back about 15 minutes early, so we grabbed our stuff and walked down to the ferry. The ferry ride was gorgeous (again) and I got some sweet photos of the harbour. Leah took me around the harbour to the Opera House and to the Botanical Gardens which are past it. They must be unbelievable during the spring and summer, because it was still really nice even without all the flowers in bloom.

After walking around there for a while she took me to a place to eat at the harbour. We ate ouside, and I had a clear view of the bridge from my seat. Leah had the weirdest salad ever. There were massive chunks of pumpkin, beetroot, potato, eggplant, and bell pepper. Aussies are totally into pumpkin, it's weird. After lunch we walked across the quay (pron. "key") to Starbucks for a Chai. Once again I got the crappiest drink ever, but didn't realize it until we had walked a good distance from the place. In America...

Leah had to leave for work after lunch, so she walked me down by the opera house and showed me where Al would pick me up in an hour. I walked her back to the ferry, then set out across the quay into the city to explore and kill time. Obviously I have no idea how to get anywhere in Sydney, so my exploration was pretty uneventful. Mainly I tried to keep track of which direction the quay was from my current location...

The time passed quickly and I got back to the quay and met up with Al. She took me to The Rocks, which is the oldest section of Sydney and has a lot of historical buildings. Unfortunately every single one of them is a shop now. We were expecting to find some sort of museum that talked about convicts, but there was none. So we walked around a bit but by that time I was pretty tired from walking so we headed back toward the car park. We watched most of the sunset behind the bridge from the Opera House, then took off to get a few things from her work before grabbing a bite to eat and heading to Hills city church.

Al works at a homeless hostel in a not so great section of Sydney. After hearing so much about the place it was cool to go there and see it for myself... It was really cool to see Al in her work environment and see her interactions with the people there. I'm pretty sure her main job there is to find housing for people trying to leave the hostel... After Al finished up some business there she gave me a small tour, then we walked a couple blocks and got a salad so we wouldn't starve at Hills... After we finished we drove out to Hills and waiting for Leah and Mel to show up. They got there just before 7:30, and Darlene started things off shortly after.

Darlene has the best speaking voice ever. It's gentle, but doesn't make you want to fall asleep. It makes you think "I'll listen to whatever you say. Will you be my friend?" (Joan suggested that she's the anti-Christ. I disagree.) She was fully down to earth as well, which I remembered Mel saying on many occasions. After Darlene talked a few people told stories about conference, then Robert Ferguson got up to give his message. It was AMAZING. Totally convicting and heavy and thought provoking...

Leah and I talked a bit on the way home, but not much since we (though mostly I) were in thinking moods. I popped in Passion One Day and tried to let the words sink in...

still Tuesday, August 5
Sunday was a close second to Saturday. Mel decided to ditch choir (more incriminating circumstances) and stayed the night with us again. We got up not so early and the 4 of us went to Palm beach. They were having a longboard competition so we hung around and watched them surf while we ate the lunches we had packed and talked. At one point a bunch of dolphins came up to the beach and started surfing in the waves. It was so rad to see. We also went out climbing on the rocks for a bit which was fun and reminiscent of home. We toof off in the early afternoon, hung around the house a bit then headed off to church for rehearsal at four...

Things at the rehearsal went well and having someone on piano helped fill us in. I had decided that morning that I was going to sing Remember Surrender by Sara Groves at church that night because Leah had asked me to sing something... Worship went well; the congregation wasn't going off but we weren't getting blank stares either. After worship Fiona started her message on wisdom and preached for a bit. Midway through she asked if anyone wanted to give an offering, and I ended p starting things off with the song... After that a girl got up and shared some prayer requests, one of which was for her non-Christian mom. A couple people prayed with her, then Fiona asked if anyone else wanted prayer for their family. Hand after hand went up, eventually including mine... Mel, Leah, and I prayed together which was so rad, and such a cool and powerful reminder of God's faithfulness and persistence in chasing people...

After a lot of praying, Brian (keyboard player) shared a song, then Fiona gave the second half of her message. It eventually worked its way into trust and discipline, and was such a cool message. Then we did a couple more worship songs again - I See the Lord and Trading My Sorrows. This time they went off... Eventually we all headed out to get Thai for dinner. Everyone from the house went, and we had a good time and some more laughs and the food was seriously good.

After we came home the four of us watched Moulin Rouge for my sake because I was the only one that hadn't seen it. Leah fell asleep midway through or was at least very close... After the movie we all went to bed because it was about 12:30. I switched beds with Al because she has sleep apnia and would keep Leah up and my legs were too long for the couch. I slept pretty poorly that night anyway...
The next morning we got a really decent (early) start guitar shopping. We drove out pretty far to the place where Leah and Al bought Al's guitar. Everything there seemed too expensive though and anything that was nice was way out of her price range. So we drove to another place in the city that was even more expensive and had crap guitars. So then we decided as a last resort to go to this place in the city that I saw with them on Saturday. It was a nice place but the employees were serious jerks. We walked in and right off the guy who helped us was being a complete idiot and not taking us seriously at all... After trying three guitars Leah ended up with an Epiphone Les Paul anniversary model, black with gold hardware. She also got a sweet Marshall amp with four different FXs on clean and overdrive (I don't know if anyone cares about this beside me. Oh well.)...

Eventually Leah had to leave for work, so Al took off with Mel and I. Unfortunately what should have been a 2 hour trip turned into a 5 hour ordeal. First of all, Mel had left her stuff in Leah's boot (trunk) so we had to track her down where she was working which took for-ev-er. Then Al wanted to go to Penrith to get Krispy Kremes. It took forever to get there as well. We had some cool conversations in the car, but they stopped once we needed directions off the map to get places.

Finally we got back to Mels, and I was pretty glad to get on our way back. Too much time in the car. It was a really pleasant ride. We didn't get lost, and we had a seriously cool conversation about all sorts of things... I love it when you first meet someone and you feel comfortable enough to share a pretty substantial amount of information with them, and they'll do the same. I love hearing people's stories and finding point where I can relate and learning from the points where I can't.

When we got home Leah was really tired and went to bed pretty quick. Al and I stayed up and made a bit of dinner then headed for bed.

Well it has been brought to my attention that I completely forgot to mention Banjo the platypus in my journaling. Banjo is a very friendly platypus who was kind enough to let me pose with him for a photo when we were at Darling Harbour. Mel has written a song about Banjo and his entire life journey, and I'm sure she would sing it for you (or at least send you the words) if you'd like to hear it. And as if a whole blog in honour of banjo wasn't enough, here is a picture of him.



Oh, and you can look at other pictures from my trip here. I only have about half of them up right now though.

Tuesday, August 5
There's a lot to catch up on. Friday, Leah came about 11:30 and we went to the store (Coles) and bought groceries to bring back to where she's staying. We had lunch together at the shopping center - more Middle Eastern food. That stuff is seriously good. After that we bummed around until Mel got off at 3, picked her up, then were off to the place where Leah's staying. We got settled, got some dinner, then headed to Leah's church to practice for Sunday... After that we pretty much went straight to bed. But not before being called a freak and a key snob (thanks mates) ;o)

Saturday was the best day of the trip thus far. We went to the city and Leah's friend Al came with us. We walked along Darling Harbour and also some of the downtown areas. The best part of the day though was hanging out with the three of them and all the laughs we had... We saw this 1/2 aboriginal guy play the dijeridoo and it was really cool, and also made for many jokes. The best joke though was coming back to the parking structure and seeing an add on the wall that said "What out! Pedestrians around" with a chalk figure underneath it. There was also another sign that said "How wold you feel if you hit a pedestrian?" Leah inquired how the pedestrian might feel. From there we had another joke about running people over and "how would you feel if..."

We left in the early evening to leave for Hills to go to church, but ended up there a half hour late (just enough time to miss the music). After that none of us were really into it or paid attention (hmm this is a bit incriminating)... We delevoped more jokes with Al there, paying out the people who are speaking out without even paying attention to what's being said. "That's good! That's very good!"

After church we went to Hog's Breath Cafe for dinner. The jokes from the day continued, along with a new one from Mel - "If we were in America..." Leah bought me my first ever drink there, a Mudslide, which tasted like a milkshake (reeeal potent). We had a great time talking and laughing (mostly laughing). We had a pretty substantial ride home, so we talked and laughed a bit more, but started to settle down. We listened to Jennifer Knapp Lay it Down, which was sweet (and is the best album she's ever made...MEL). Credit (however slight) is due to JK for our meeting, so it was completely appropriate to play that album. After getting home we pretty much went to bed because it was getting pretty late. Mel and I stayed up sitting by the heater and talking for about half an hour, then went to bed.

still Monday, July 28
The three of us went to the 10:45 service that morning. Leah and I were both pretty tired, but I tried to stay alert. Things were loud, so it made it easier. Hillsong is very different than any other church I've been to... The message was on territory... After church we picked up some stuff at Coles then Mel made us Mexican food back at her place. We hung out and talked a bit until Leah had to leave, then Mel and I bummed around until night church... The service was good. The place was packed out and the people were stoked to be there... paraphrase Mel and I hung out that night, watched a movie with her roommies then talked a bit before bed. It was rad.

Today we got up and took the bus to the mall where I got this journal (I had forgotten mine at home) and some postcards. We ate Middle Eastern food and talked.

Tuesday, July 29
Today Mel ditched school and we caught a bus to Parramatta, then caught a train to Penrith to go to "mini America." A Krispy Kreme had just opened there, and there was a Taco Bell/KFC, McDonalds, and a couple other American places... Since we were a ways out from the city I got asked about my accent and talked with a Krispy Kreme worker for a bit about California. Tomorrow we have to get up at dawn to go the city with Hills.

Thursday, July 31
The past two days I've gone to "Practical Ministry Week" with Mel. Basically it's like going to a conference. Yesterday we were bused out to the city campus and had our sessions there... We got back from the city about 4. I took a nap then we bummed around until 6:30 or so when we headed to WACA (worship and creative arts) practice. Still no Darlene... Today we were at Hills. There were two "normal" sessions of teaching, and the first one (Katrina Henderson) was awesome. She reminded me a lot of Leah, and Mel said the exact same thing...

Ok so maybe I'm more jet lagged than I thought. Getting up this morning was like force-feeding myself a sharp stick...and also took an hour and ten minutes. Now that I am up, it seems that getting myself to work will be just as difficult. Maybe I should just stuff it for a while and go in the afternoon.

In my depressed non-tiredness last night I was reading Ecclesiastes (cheery I know) and I came across these verses.

Whoever digs a pit may fall into it;
whoever breaks through a wall may be bitten by a snake.
Whoever quarries stones may be injured by them;
whoever splits logs may be endangered by them.
Ecc 10:8-9

Such good verses for me right now. And rather than typing out why they are and everything I think about them, why don't you think about them and find the meaning that God has for you right now. That would be a lot more useful.

I'm going to start posting a bit of my journaling from the trip so people can get a general idea of what I did while I was there. There's going to be a lot of cutting though because I have over 50 pages of journaling from there and I can't be bothered to type it all out, just as I'm sure no one would be bothered to read it all. So here's the first edition, cut to bits I'm sure, but at least it's something.

Monday, July 28
Thursday/Friday was the longest day of my life. 3-4 hours of sleep, up at 5:15 and off to the airport at 5:45. My flight to LAX was flawless, as well as my transfer to the Intl terminal... A person can only watch so many movies, play so many games and eat so much food. The first ten hours went really well. The last three sucked. But I made it, eventually got my passport stamped, grabbed my luggage and went through the red line at customs... There were probably close to 100 people waiting where we exited, but I spotted Mel at the end when she jumped up and down. Leah drove us through the city and over the Harbour bridge before we headed for Mel's. We hung out a bit but I went to bed pretty quickly because I was so exhausted. Unfortunately I only got 4-5 hours of sleep. Jet lag was killing me.

Friday Mel and I bummed around the area. She showed me Hills and we got some exotic lunch at a local shopping center. Leah and I went to Powerhouse, Hillsong's College group, that night... It was cool but definitely different... I got a lot more sleep that night, though still not great.

The next day (sat) was Leah's birthday. Mel and I hung out in the morning and Leah came out about 1:30. We went to Leah's first where I met her Mum for the first time. Then we walked down this path by her house to a place where the ferry would pick us up. Coming into Sydney was incredible. I just starred at the Opera house in disbelief. Leah laughed. I couldn't believe I was there...We got back to Leah's house where I met her sister for the first time... I also met some of her friends and her Dad.

We went to dinner at 7:30, and it was a VERY long night. We ordered late, and the restaurant was slow in general. The waiter teased me about asking for water and not having wine ("what, do you want to do the washing?")...

Leah drove us home that night and ended up staying the night at Mel's. We hung around and talked a lot. We sung a bit as well. I'd had the song "I see the Lord" stuck in my head since that morning, so we sung that. It's been so cool to worship alongside my friends. I am amazed by their love for God, and the connection we have through him. The night ended a bit less serious though, as we sung Shout to the Lord "like Darlene" with a dramatic key change (into B!) at the end.

So I'm back home in the US of A. Can't say it's the first place in the world that I'd like to be at the moment, but it is nice to see my family and friends here. My flight home wasn't too bad as compared to the flight there which made things heaps easier. I'm still a bit lagged and out of it (I've seen things a couple times today) but for the most part I'm feeling pretty good. I got a solid 12+ hours of sleep last night which helped a ton. I think throughout the week I'll post bits from my journaling while I was there, but it will definitely be the edited version since I have about 1/3 of a journal completely from the trip. I'm going to take my pictures in tomorrow or the day after as well, so I should be able to scan and start posting them later on this week. That's all for now.

Whoa dudes I'm in Australia. Trippy eh? I'm having a great time, I love it heeeeeee.

I leave for Australia tomorrow!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Oops. I know it's a bad sign when I start to type in the URL for blogger and it doesn't even come up automatically because I haven't been there in so long. Life's been mainly work work work. Unfortunately my job is getting a bit more boring because I'm spending a lot of time at the computer doing data entry. I still get to take a break and do something different every now and then (I was spackling a room the other day) but it's still a lot of time sitting in one spot staring at tiny writing and a computer screen. Ah well, only a couple more days of it until I'm off to Australia. I'm stoked about the trip, but it's still really unreal to me that I'm going. I think at this point I've thought about the trip so much there's really nothing left to think about, so it tends to slide into the back of my mind. I leave in five days. I hope they go fast.

I'm a little stressed about all the loose ends I have to get tied up before I go. Planning and event for the day after I get back, finding subs for worship team, getting as much stuff done at work as possible, trying to figure out what I need to pack, and the like. Maybe it's not so much, but I have a tendency to get worked up over such things. I guess I don't have the anti-stress ability like someone else I know.

Prayer requests: That the next five days would go quickly
Safe travels to Australia
Good times with God before I leave and while I'm there (that's been seriously lacking lately)
Safe travels for my parents who are going to Alaska while I'm gone
That I don't get fined by Australian customs
That I remember to contact the people I need to contact before I leave

Maybe you're getting tired of these "I'm alive" type updates. I am too. You're about to get another one though. Work is cool. This week started off with a bang (tons of fun on Sunday) and has slowly dwindled. It's been an up and down time, but I'm trying to gain back the momentum I had. I'm trying to throw myself back into work again and into the relationships I've started with the Junior Highers. I'm trying to find the passion and desperation that was fueling my walk with the Lord a couple days ago. I realized today what an extremely long week this has been, and there's still a couple more days left to it. I'm stoked that two weeks from now I'll be in Australia hanging out with two awesome friends that I love dearly. I'm totally jealous that these two friends got to see Delirious last night. And right now I'm really wondering why I'm trying to make any sense when I'm dead tired and it's late at night. So I guess I'll just leave it at that. I'm alive and kicking, would appreciate your prayers as always.

Quick update. Things are great, I'm loving life. Had a great afternoon hanging out, talking, praying, and playing whiffle ball with the interns from church. Still stoked about Australia. Will be in the studio recording vocals tomorrow evening, pray for that if you would.

I HAVE TICKETS TO AUSTRALIA SITTING IN MY ROOM! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Yet another reason why I love my job: today I got to take home a Fender Strat with custom pick-ups to use on some stuff I'm recording. I'm so spoiled. I'm going to miss this job in the fall.

Three words: God is moving. I had a really intense day today, but it was really cool and God was totally convicting, challenging, and encouraging me. It's been a really intense last couple of days. I know I'm using the word intense a lot all of a sudden (that's three times in three sentances) but there's no other way to describe it. And you know, I don't mind it at all. I learned today what it means to seek God with expectation. I need to do it more often. Heck, I need to do it daily.

In completely unrelated and superficial news, it stayed under 85 degrees today. I wore pants, and there was much rejoicing. Maybe I won't want to pass out tomorrow at work from the hard labor they have me doing lately. Ooo and I get paid this week. That will be a happy occasion.

Lately I've felt like someone who was converted under Apollos' teaching. Powerful and truthful, yet missing an important element. I could elaborate more on that, but I'm brain-dead from a long week of working and not getting enough sleep. So if you wish, in the time you've saved by not reading a long post, you can pray that I really press in to God, stay in His Word, and hear from Him more clearly and powerfully than I ever have before.

Meanwhile a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was a learned man, with a thorough knowledge of the Scriptures. He had been instructed in the way of the Lord, and he spoke with great fervor and taught about Jesus accurately, though he knew only the baptism of John. He began to speak boldly in the synagogue. When Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they invited him to their home and explained to him the way of God more adequately.

When Apollos wanted to go to Achaia, the brothers encouraged him and wrote to the disciples there to welcome him. On arriving, he was a great help to those who by grace had believed. For he vigorously refuted the Jews in public debate, proving from the Scriptures that Jesus was the Christ.

While Apollos was at Corinth, Paul took the road through the interior and arrived at Ephesus. There he found some disciples and asked them, "Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?"

They answered, "No, we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit."

So Paul asked, "Then what baptism did you receive?"

"John's baptism," they replied.

Paul said, "John's baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus." On hearing this, they were baptized into the name of the Lord Jesus. When Paul placed his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they spoke in tongues and prophesied.
Acts 18:24-19:6

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:3-4

That verse has been on my mind all afternoon. I went to my first memorial service ever today. The girl who died was about 6 1/2. I'd never met her, but it sounds like she was amazing. She'd had a brain tumor since she was two. The service gave me a lot to think about on reflect on. There's so much running through my mind but I don't know if I can write it now. I don't know if I can write it ever. I know I should, but that doesn't mean I will. More later...maybe.

Not a lot to say. I don't even know why I'm typing here beside the fact that I feel I should. I just figured a lot of time has passed since Saturday, and I might as well write something. The problem is, whenever I feel I have something to say I'm never around a computer. So I guess I'll just babble a bit until something comes out.

Life lately is work and hanging out. Two very positive things in my opinion. I'm still loving my job, and hanging out it always grand. Last night I went to our first Junior High group of the summer, which was a lot of fun. The new seventh graders are really cool and made it a great night. I think the dynamics of this class are going to be really good for the group. They seem really excited to be there. Maybe that wears off after a while (this was their first time after all), but I'm hoping it doesn't.

Basically I'm just stoked about Australia. Life's great right now and I'm trying to tell myself to enjoy the moment and not look ahead too much. It's hard when something so good is looming out there ahead of me though. So I guess that's it. Maybe I'll have some substance in the near future.

If you've been over to Mel's site recently you've probably read her little bit about me coming to Australia. Well my friends, that is indeed true. At the moment I have a ticket on hold, which will be finalized on Monday morning. It's a long story, but basically God is amazing and I think He's been flashing a silly grin the whole time this ticket process has been going on because he's been so excited to see how excited we've gotten about all this. And let me tell you, I'm excited. Though I think I'm in denial. Mel on the other hand, is not. She definitely screamed in my ear several times when I called her last night. She's a funny kid.

So that's been the major even of the past weekish. Last night I went to the graduation at my high school. It was so much fun. I think besides missing out on grad night, I might have actually had more fun last night than I did at my own graduation last year. Maybe that's because I didn't have to stress about giving a speech. I cried twice. Why in the world do I cry at someone else's graduation (multiple times) when I didn't shed a single tear at my own? I have no clue. I guess I'm just weird that way. It was a great night overall. I got to talk to all the people I wanted to, including some members of my class (that had siblings and friends graduating) that I hadn't seen for a long time. Yesterday was just a really happy day. I got things with my ticket finalized for the most part, I saw both my grandmas and my step-grandpa, I had an excellent time at the grad, and I got to hear Mel scream on the phone. Today has paled in comparison, but that's alright. I think if every day was as exciting as yesterday I'd be dead after a week from sheer overload.

You are Psalms.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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Written last night but blogger hasn’t let me post it:

It's been a while since I've written anything remotely thought provoking. And quite honestly, I'm not sure I'm capable of it at the moment, since I'm so out of practice. But I'm going to try. I don't know if my thoughts will come out in a way that makes sense or can even do them any justice, but I have to try.

There's something that comes with summer that gives me the inclination to think. Maybe it's the fact that I actually have the free time, or maybe it has something to do with how much more relaxed I am. At any rate, the wheels in my head have started to turn again, and it's something I've missed. That's not to say I've been completely brain-dead the rest of the year, I just haven't had time to ponder a lot of things. And I'm realizing more and more than pondering things is a part of my nature - it's a part of who I am.

Right now I'm reading a book by Darlene Zschech called Extravagant Worship. The chapter I read yesterday was about obedience as an act of worship. It's a concept I've heard many times, and it's a subject I'm convicted about each time I hear it. Ultimately our love for God is measured by our obedience. It's not in our words, it's not in what we sing, it's not in what books we read or what we do or don't allow ourselves to watch on television. If we love God we will keep His commands. I was reflecting a bit on my own obedience in different contexts today as my mom and I were driving home from my grandma's house. In the past couple months God has really placed a vision in my heart about the community I'll be living in next fall, as well as my relationships with my coworkers this summer. And as I thought about those visions I started to ask myself, "If I don't try my hardest to realize those visions, if I don't pour my heart and soul into seeing this vision that God has given me become a reality, then am I living in disobedience to Him?" I'm starting to think that answer is yes.

Maybe the way I phrased that makes it seem too obvious. Or maybe I'm just stupid and the answer really is obvious. Let me work through this. I'm thinking now that maybe all the times God has placed some kind of vision or ideal on my heart - maybe a way to encourage someone, the type of relationship I'm to have with someone, the kinds of conversations I'm supposed to initiate - that I have lived in disobedience to Him when I have not followed through on those actions. Perhaps by not doing those things I have fallen short of God's best for that situation or relationship, and I'm realizing that's a horrible place to be.

God's really given me a vision about where I'm living in the fall. What kind of environment it's supposed to be, and the kind of relationship I'm supposed to have with my roommates. I can either follow through on that vision - share it, pray over it, strive for it, and continually surrender it to God's control - or I can say "stuff it" with my typical lack of action. It seems like such a simple answer, but there are many circumstances like these which I have let pass me by in the past. I want to resolve to do that no longer.

Lately I have found myself willing to obey in some of the little things, which is a passion I have not had for a long time. A week ago I found myself in a really sticky situation with an acquaintance of mine. She said some pretty harsh words via an email, and there was a large part of me that really wanted to nail her for it. But I didn't. I stuffed my pride and realized that honoring God and this person was more important than saving my own hide. So rather than telling her off, I apologized for the misunderstanding between us, and asked for her forgiveness. It was difficult, and part of me still wants to "teach her a lesson," but my obedience has worked out for the best. This person accepted my apology, and recanted her own overreaction. Problem averted. In actuality though, this situation wasn't all that difficult. I hope that as these situations become more and more challenging, I find myself more and more willing to sacrifice for the sake of obedience; because that is the number one way I can show my devotion to Christ.

I'm back to the life of a sloth today. Thursday and Friday I spent 6-7 hours each day at work. Can I just say: I love my job! I work my butt off, but it really is wonderful and the time goes so fast and the people I get to work with are so cool. Let me give you a glimpse into what I do.

In essence I get assigned something to do either by my manager or the owner of the store, and when I finish that job, I report back to them and ask for something else to do. So I really am busy ALL THE TIME. Things I've done thus far include: cleaning hideous parts of the store's office (I have to tackle the funkshwa room sometime soon AKA the pile of crap room), organizing and cleaning the rental area, stocking anything and everything, pricing then stocking WAY too much equipment, watering all the various plants around the store, and basically doing anything else anyone tells me to do. Now let me explain to you the reasons I love my job.

1. I'm working at a store that I love and am familiar with
2. My job involves working with other people, but not annoying customers
3. What I do varies from day to day, so I'm never bored
4. After hanging out with girls all year long I finally get to be around some guys (don't take that the wrong way)
5. I work with musicians
6. My bosses and the employees are really nice, down to earth people
7. The store's website can be viewed in brooklynese.

I just wanted to say: HOORAY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!

Well, here it is folks. There's a couple things I might shuffle around a bit, but at long last that orange is gone. I was really sick of it. Unfortunately, I might get tired of a pinkish base even faster. It's only three months, I can do it.

Home again, finally for the long haul. I have a new layout done but the server I need to upload my graphic on is being stupid. So, no layout until that decides to work again. More later.

It's been a busy couple of days. I figure I need to write a bit about choir tour now, or I'm never going to do it since we're leaving today on vacation. But first, some more recent news.

I got all my job stuff worked out yesterday for the summer. I'm going to be working part time at a local music store (where I've bought almost all my gear) and I am STOKED about that. I'm also going to be working part time (about 10 hours) with our church plant with the youth. I cannot wait to hang out with those kids and get to know them. I know it's something I'm capable of doing well, but at the same time it's something I feel so incapable of without God's help. It's a good balence, and I'm looking forward to seeing what God does as I'm totally dependant on Him through it all.

So, tour. What is there to say? Fourteen days, 85 girls, four boys, one director, one small child, two buses, 5 states, host homes, too much food, lots of singing. I'd say that sums it up really. Quite honestly there's way too much that happened for me to even begin to sum things up here. Overall it was an amazing time of seeing God's creation (driving through Colorado is amazing), bonding with the girls in choir, getting too little sleep, hearing from God, seeing God work, and being used by Him in ways I never would have expected. There were so many times where God was all the choir had, and that dependancy on Him totally brought us through - and only by His grace. It would be so easy for us to take the credit for all that happened, but God did so much to remind us that it was not by our might but by His Spirit that anything was accomplished. Whether it was totally rebuking Satan before a concert, or showing up five minutes before we were supposed to start - God was there and was the center and the source and the reason. It was truely amazing. If you want more info, funny stories, random inside jokes, or copies of some pictures let me know. I have like 50 pages of journaling about the events of tour. I don't want to forget any of it.

So what's to come? A new layout for one thing, and hopefully a renewed interest to write in here. I'm excited to see what God does with my summer. The way He's already turned things around (I was planning on taking summer school and not working at church) makes me really anxious to see what else is going to happen.

And with that (that's for you Leah) I'm going to go put all my belongings back in a suitcase again. I'm really sick of suitcases. Hawaii here I come.

I'm home. It's really weird. I've been spending most of today organizing, cleaning, and putting things away. I even cleaned my closet...that hadn't happened for years.

I'm alive. I'm presently still in so cal, but am leaving this evening for home. Tour was fantastic. More to come on that. Maybe. I'm leaving again on Friday.

Finals are done. Classes are done. Homework is done. Packing is definitely not done. As much as I can do right now is done, but it doesn't make me feel very productive. The bathroom is clean, half my desk is dusted, everything is down off the walls, and I've gotten a few things packed up. But besides the empty walls, this place still looks pretty "lived in." Actually, it pretty refreshing to see in comparison to all the empty rooms here now.

This morning the rhythm section for choir recorded some songs. Actually, they might still be recording for all I know. I only had to record two songs, but they had to do seven. I feel really bad for them. They have a lot of other things they could be doing (i.e. packing, hanging out with friends they aren't going to see for four months).

To change subjects completely, I've been called brave twice this week. Pretty much in reference to the same thing, but from two completely different people in two completely different areas in my life. One was a professor, and one was a student. Well, I guess she's not a student anymore because she's graduating tomorrow. This isn't the first time I've been called brave. In fact, it's happened a couple times in the past year or so. Each time it's been in reference to honesty - to openess. It's really weird for me that people would think of me that way and see that characteristic in me. I often think of myself as such a timid person, but I guess there's a lot more I could hold back. I just want to be me. I'm not satisfied with any less anymore. So I'll do what it takes to do that, even if it means being brave. And beside, it's all really trusting God, because if I was relying on myself there's no way I'd do any of it.

One more day of school left. I'm actually having to study today, which is making the day go a lot faster but I wouldn't call it fun. I have a lot of cleaning, packing, studying, and hanging out to do in the next couple of days. I know it's going to be madness, and I know it's going to go very quickly. And with that, I must go pick up my drycleaning.

So here I am, the Sunday of finals week with nothing to study. Everyone else is locked up in their rooms trying to cram as much info into their heads as possible, but I'm rather bored. Why, do you ask? Well, I already took one final next week, and my other two finals which will actually require studying are both on Thursday. Thursday is a thousand years from now, so why in the world would I be studying now? Actually that's a lie, I've reviewed notes for one of them, entirely out of boredom. How sad is that? I've gotten so bored that I actually HAVE started to study, while everyone else here is dying for a study break. Weird.

Speaking of weird, it's weird I won't be here a week from now. Or the week after that. Or the week after that. I will never live in this room again. I'll live on this campus again, but never in this room, never in this building. And I'm not going to see all my friends here for four months. There's some good and bad to that. It's bad for obvious reasons, but it's good because I get to see all my friends from home. It'll be cool to have a break from this and go home to my "other" life.

But before all that, I have to ride around on a bus and sing and play guitar and get way too little sleep with 85 other girls. I really hope I don't go insane. I know choir tour will be great, but I think after two weeks I'll be really ready for it to be over. I'm excited to deepen relationships with the girls though. Bus rides provide a lot of talking time.

A voice says, "Cry out."
And I said, "What shall I cry?"
"All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the
flowers of the field.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
because the breath of the Lord blows on them.
Surely the people are grass.
The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever."
Isaiah 40:6-8

Goodbye Grampies