Yesterday our choir had their last sunday night church concert. It's nice to know I won't have to be gone sunday nights anymore, but it's also sad. Singing with this choir has been one of the coolest things I've been able to do, and I feel like I've learned a lot from the experience. We still have a couple concerts left on campus and a two week tour at the end of the year left, but the sunday night gigs are over. The concert last night was amazing. It was better in part because everyone was trying harder because it was our last one, but mostly because of what God was doing in our hearts and in that congregation. Before we sing we always do devotions as a choir. They have ranged from bad to very good, and last night was definitely very good. Our chaplain didn't say much, and left much of the time open for us to sing worship songs. We've done that before, but last night we had a lot of time. It's always been the same songs, and though they're good songs they've gotten old. Not so last night however. We sung maybe ten songs, and only one of them had we done before. People started old skool songs like Refiner's Fire and Change My Heart O God. It was really an amazing time, and definitely spirit led. There were so many songs that I was thinking of that got started by people other than myself, and to me that is proof that we were all listening to the Spirit.

Our director has had me lead us in a couple worship songs at the beginning of class the past couple mondays, and today was especially good. I love leading the girls in worship. First of all, I'm a new face up there which is nice to get rid of that redundant, stagnant feeling. But most of all, I love being able to lead the girls into the presence of God. Not to say that it's by my power that it happens, but I am honored and enjoy the priviledge to lead them in such a way. Each time I realize more and more how much I love it and that I was made to do it. Praise be to our God, He is worthy!

Everyone needs to buy derek webb's cd, it's amazing. i definitely see why it was impossible for him to do this project with caedmon's call. the whole cd is centered around the image of the bridge of christ, and has some really startling images. i wouldn't call this album G rated, but that doesn't mean it isn't good. its meaning is deep, and the music is great. and there's something great about the harmony between a husband and a wife, it sounds phenominal. get the album. it's haunting and encouraging all at the same time. i've been listening to it for the last three days straight.

Hey to anyone who reads this, happy friday. I have a request. If you're reading this, please pray for my roommate. Her dog died today. It's an especially big deal because my roommate is handicapped, and this was her canine companion that she's spent the last 10 years or so with. It's really like losing a family member. Thanks a lot.

Inspired by Sara's list.
Search topics that brought people to leaving it behind:
piano songs to learn - guess that happens when you have a college level piano class.

jennifer knapp taking a break - a sad truth.

krystle - gee who would have thought that would bring them here?

"remember surrender" - great song.

husband keeps leaving - ok this is a bit freaky. i do not have a husband, nor does he keep leaving.

mexico beer servesa - my site comes up second for this on google. i don't even feel like explaining it. all those words were contained in one post though.

why leaving home is a vital growing up - first of all it's vital to develop your gramatical skills, then comes leaving home. the thought makes sense though, that's pretty much the premise for the site.

School can be weird. It can be so weird because it can be so difficult and stressful for some people, and for others it can almost be enjoyable. Surprisingly my case is the latter. Right now I have more songs I need to write for classes than papers. Is there something wrong with this picture? I feel like I'm cheating somehow. Am I really supposed to enjoy school? Ok, so I'm not enjoying everything, but I'm loving some of my assignments right now.

Intro to Music Technology - work on a background track that eventually we will record a live audio track to (i.e. record the background then we'll record the vocals on top and you can have a near-studio quality recording).
Music Theory - write a 16 bar (minimum) four part song that follows leading and resolution rules. I think right now my song is somewhere in the 40 measure range, and I'm not done. It's not even due for three or four weeks, but I just love doing it. The past two days I've worked on it several hours, and though I know it's not the best song ever written I also know that it's not bad, and I think that's something for my first time doing this.

And with the rest of my free time I'm getting other small bits of homework done, hanging out with friends, reading a fantastic book (The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman), and getting over this cold. Funny how I felt horrible about things in general last night, but suddenly things are looking a lot better. I guess that's what happens when you get good sleep, a presentation gets pushed back a week, you get out of half your classes at least half an hour early, you enjoy a book and a great cup of tea, and it's a sunny day. Not bad, not bad at all.

After I woke up today I realized two things. One, I actually feel rested and two, I could breathe. That's the first time in a week that I've woken up and not had my nose be a complete mess. I think I'm finally getting over this sickness thing.

It's been a long week. I've missed six classes (I know, most people don't even have six classes), but have found myself not at all behind. I've been coughing like there's no tomorrow, and my nose is a wreck from how many times I've blown it. All of that aside though, today is a great day. Want to know why? I don't have to go to class and my parents are coming this afternoon. I cannot wait to see them. Now if only my back and neck weren't so sore...

Sorry for the lack of substance in the last post, but come on, who wouldn't be proud of the fact that they're Linus?

The weekend was great. It is such a joyous occasion to go home with a friend and neither of you have to bring homework. So we worked our butts off during the week to make it that way (ok, mostly her, not I) but it was worth it to have the school-less weekend.

I'd say the only good thing the weekend lacked was sleep. It's so foolish of me to think that I'll ever get a significant amount of sleep at this girl's house, it's just impossible. No matter how tired I might be, when it comes down to it I really don't care if I get to sleep or not, because the quality time is so much more important. I've found very few people that I can talk so much and so long with, and I wouldn't trade it for the world (and that includes sleep). Granted we "slept" (I don't think I really slept that well) in until 11:30 Saturday morning, but that was counteracted by staying up until 3:40 that night.

Beside the great conversation, the best part of the weekend was the free Justin McRoberts concert that we went to. It was at a small coffee house on a college campus, and it was so amazing. That man is so funny, and it's so great to listen to him talk and explain concepts and stories behind his songs. He talked and sung about so many great things that made me think so hard. He talked about friendship and made made me so thankful for the relationships I have. I could write forever about some of the things he addressed, but there's no time for that. It was a great concert, and I'll leave it at that.

So now I'm left on a Tuesday afternoon, a bit of homework to do, choir in fifteen minutes, nose slightly stuffy and throat very tickely (I made that up. Get off my back). Nonetheless I'm feeling good. God is good.

Which Peanuts Character Are You Quiz

Finally it's Friday, and in not to long I'll be on the road on the way to my friend's house. I'm stoked to get away from school and sleep somewhere quiet and just relax. My predictions for the weekend: Justin McRoberts concert, some more driving the stick shift, hanging out, good food, much sleep. Alas no recording. I thought I might be able to record with my friend's bro this weekend, but he's not coming home. Ah well. Enjoy the weekend folks.

I thought I was going to be able to sleep in today. I set my alarm for ten, knowing that my roommate was going to have to get up at eight, but hoping I'd be able to sleep through most of her getting ready. Wrong. I finally dragged myself out of bed (for the last time) at 9:45, having been awake since 8. So much for that.

My first class was cancelled this morning (hense the sleeping in) and as I've been getting ready I've been thinking a lot about the next couple years, scheduling my classes, the possible dts, housing for next year...all those kinds of details. I was thinking about being away and how much I feel like I've changed and how if I went on a DTS I'm sure I'd change even more. I was also thinking about how much I miss my parents now and how much more I'll miss them if I'm gone for six months. I also realized how long two months is, especially in another country. But this is what it comes down to: either I succomb to my fears and never do anything in life, or I let them go and trust God to lead me on some crazy adventures that I will never forget and will leave me changed and strengthened by Him. When you look at it that way it's not such a difficult choice.

It's been a good weekend. A hard one, but I think I can still say that it's been a good one. Spent around 45 minutes crying today. Combination of missing home, missing family, being overly sentimental, and missing some friends. I haven't really cried for a while and quite frankly it was necessary. I was on the verge so many times yesterday, and it all just needed to come out.

Last night I spend a lot of time praying, worshipping, and reading. It was really good and really needed. I was feeling pretty broken down and had a free night besides, so I took the time to just seek God. My recommendation to anyone and everyone: spend as much time with God as you can. Obviously it didn't leave me feeling peachy today (crying for 45 minutes remember), but the words spoken to my heart and the convictions and encouragements and healing is so worth it. I don't understand God at all, there's still so much to learn, and I'll never be able to figure Him out. That's pretty wild.

The going to bed early thing didn't work so well last night. Unless you count 1:30 as early. I'll do better tonight.

Hallelujah it's Friday. And even better I have my room to myself this weekend and I don't have all that much to do. I am so excited to sleep in tomorrow. Lately I have been majorly sleep deprived, though mostly that's been due entirely to my choice. Not tonight though, I'm not going to stay up late I've already decided. No roommate, no choir concert, going to bed early...it's going to be a great weekend. Plus I'm going to meet an Australian. Could things get any better?

I just finished the latest book I've been reading today. It's by Dean Sherman, who is dean of the College of Christian Ministries for the University of the Nations. The book is called Relationships: They Key to Love, Sex, and Everything Else. There's so much good stuff in it. The book talks about dating and romantic relationships, but mostly is concentrates on relationships as a whole, and how they are to be centered on love and the other persons' best. In every topic discussed his main point is that you take action in love and are concerned about their highest good.

I think I'm going to read it again sometime soon, just because there's so much good stuff that I think I've already forgotten. I've enjoyed all the reading I've done lately, but when you're taking in so much information sometimes it's hard to keep track of it all.

Though the whole book isn't like this, one chapter goes over some dating stuff and I thought he made some really good points as to where you should be before you enter a relationship. Here's his major principles:
1.Get your motives right - not out of peer pressure, not out of need, only to get to know the other person "so that we can enhance that person's life while honoring God, honoring the person, and honoring ourselves."
2. Determine to be a real person, not just a projection
3. Give up your rights to sex and marriage - Give up the attitude that you have to have a partner. Giving these things up allows God to give them back to us as a gift.
4. Take time to develop nonromantic relationships - Half the world is made up of people who are a different sex than you. God designed us to have a wide range of relationships with a wide range of people.
5. Get yourself free from sin and straightened out - "You wouldn't dream of saying to someone, 'Hey, I'm full of lust. I lie a lot. I have a bad temper, and I steal when I really want something. Do you want to go out with me?' Yet in reality, Christians impose upon each other like this all the time."
6. Give higher priority to personality development than to datability - "We ought not spend our adolescence preoccupied with the search for a mate. Instead, we should spend it growing up, developing our character, and learning to love the Lord more. Then, when we do get romantically involved with someone, we will be able to chose a person who, like ourselves, has a well-developed character and personality."

Thursday. It's almost a great day because Friday is just around the corner. One of my classes is cancelled and I'm ditching a class (right now in fact), so it's made for an easy day. I'm not sure how productive I'll be (so far I've been wasting time with things like this), but I have a lot of time to change that. Classes are good, people are good, it's been a good week. Not so long as last week which has been nice. Last week felt like a year. I wrote a song this week. It had been over a year. It's rather funny how it came about. Basically some people I was hanging out with made some really dumb comments that made me really angry, and it stirred up enough passion in me that I had to write about it. I instantly had a new chord progression, and the song was born. There are still some kinks to work out with the verses and the melody, but I thought I'd put it up here.

I've seen a bit of a double standard
People looking at each other feeling ten feet tall,
Staring at another like they're six inches small
Feeling somehow they're superior
In my opinion it's all ignorance
Lack of knowledge mixed with lack of interest

Refusing to understand one another
It will be our greatest downfall,
He created us to relate to each other
Pride inbetween we create our own barrier
We all ate the fruit but still somehow think we're better

How can we be surprised that they can't understand His love
When we can't even show it to each other
Putting others down never stopping to turn around
and face reality that we were made the same
Content to stay in our own comfort
Ignorace cannot be bliss
In fact it's often how we hurt each other
If we could seek to understand rather than be understood
We just might find we'd learn to love each other

Seems to me that something's broke
Since when did we think that some sin was worse than any other
Disgusted by practices we can't image
We say, "I'd never fall to that temptation"
We might all fall in different ways but that doesn't mean we can't be saved

Redemption can be found in our Savior
Wholeness can be found in our Savior

Today's been an interesting day. Well, maybe it hasn't been especially interesting except for the second half of the rugby game I watched this afternoon. A friend of mine from high school was out here today because her boyfriend is on the rugby team at her school, which had a match at my school today. So I got to watch my first live game of rugby and hang out with her a bit and catch up a little. It's got people from high school back on my mind again. I don't know how long they'll stay on my mind, but it just makes me wonder about them again. Where are they, how's life treating them, what are they learning, how are classes, what are they seeing God do (if they even are).

I suppose I could take some time to shorten that list of topis by at least one. I guess I'll start with the one I'm most excited about, which would be the whole YWAM/DTS/UofN deal. Basically I've been looking into DTS's (dicipleship training school) at various University of the Nations locations. There's only one campus in the US (Hawaii, not bad), and the other campus I'm looking at is in Switzerland. Why UofN and not any of those other hundreds of bases? None of those bases offer a DTS which will allow me to miss only the fall semester of school. Basically because of tons of boring scheduling stuff (which I'm not going to explain) I have to miss the fall semester of school, not the spring. So, UofN it is, and I'm fine with that.

In two years I'll be done with my music core and half-way through my college career. I figure by that time I'm going to have changed even more than I have in the last six months, and that I'm going to be relatively tired of school. I also figure I'm going to be in need of a fresh vision on my life, its purpose, and just who God is in the midst of it. I'm stoked about the ways God has met and spoken to me here, but I know that there's so much more waiting for me if I would really just press in. I think (I know) a DTS would equip me to do that. I've seen lives (mainly this one) dramatically changed by their time away and intense study while on a DTS. I want to be stretched that way, I want to grow that way, and I want to learn more of God's heart and will for my life. So in a way a DTS would be taking a break, but in a lot of ways it will probably be more intense than anything I'm doing at school. I'm stoked for the learning experience, and stoked to see what God does with this desire and how he'll bring it to pass if He wants it.

I love that about God. The fact that if He wants it you don't have to worry at all about it happening, it just will.

I suppose I'll stop there. Maybe if I do one subject each time it will motivate me to blog more frequently. That felt good, I've forgotten how good it can be to write sometimes.