I was very social tonight. I met some new people, introduced myself to heaps of people in a dorm, and went to baskin robbins with a large group. Fun times. Tomorrow I'm going to eat cheerios for breakfast with two of them then head to church/chapel that they're doing on campus. I'm stoked on it.

I'm typing on my new laptop. The most beautiful thing about it is that it's mine and it's SUPER fast. I'm going to be super frustrated when I come home and have to go back to the old 56k. The orientation madness started today. My roommate and I arrived back on campus at about 9:45 to see a line of cars backed up about two blocks from the campus' main entrance. The place was a complete madhouse. It's still a little on the wild side, but no one's moving in anymore or standing in any humongous lines to get ID cards or PO box keys. My second roommate is all moved in as well, and my room looks a LOT less empty. It doesn't seem crowded which is nice, of course there hasn't been any bathroom conflict/sharing yet. That's not going to be too fun.

I'm listening to John Reuben. I have been completely deviod of music for over a week. It was starting to drive me insane! But now I have my music and my computer and I'm feeling much more at home. That's so lame, I'm so dependant it's quite sad. Tomorrow we have some more orientation stuff going on, I'm not sure exactly. I know we have worship in the morning. That will probably be the only thing I go to beside this skit thing called "good times" that they're doing tomorrow night. Everyone's said that's going to be hilarious, so I guess I'll have to check it out. And I guess that's it for now.

I'm at my roommates house. We got here yesterday, and pretty much slept all afternoon. I feel so worn out. I slept today until about 9:30, and stayed in bed until 10. I did not want to get up. I still wish I was in bed. I called my mom last night (actually she had called me and I called her back) and it was super hard to talk to her. Maybe because I'm in a house right now but it's not ours. I miss her a lot.

Choir camp was great, but I'm really glad it's over. It's good to have some down time and to be able to relax. I am not looking forward to orientation this weekend, because they're going to be dragging us around and having us to all these activities. I'm so worn out on activities, I just want some sense of normalcy. I'm already moved in, I don't need to hear about how to get your phone number or your mailbox key. I've already done that.

I don't mean to sound completely pessimistic. I guess the last twelve hours or so have just been rough. I cried hard last night for the second time since I've been down here. God's been so gracious though and has done so many things to confirm that this is the place that I'm supposed to be. Sometimes I still get so overwhelmed with the fact that I'm away from home and everything seems so crazy. But, I know once things get settled down (and I wish they'd get on with it already) it will be alright. I guess I just wish I would be used to things and have friends instantly. Pray for patience.

I'M ALIVE! Imagine that. I'm going to my roommates house for a couple days since choir camp will be over in a few hours. But first all the choirs are going to the beach. I'm having fun, but it's hard at the same time. I don't have time to write anymore though.

The big day has arrived. My room is clean (empty) once again, and my mom and I will be leaving to catch our bus to the airport in an hour and a half. No tears last night. I was never even close to emotional last night, except for when my mom asked me how I was doing. I responded, "Alright. Better when you don't ask." She agreed. She said she wished people would stop asking her how she was doing so she didn't have to think of it all the time.

For now though, it feels like we're leaving on vacation. My mom has to pack stuff too, so it feels like we're taking and nice trip to so cal for the weekend. Only difference is I'm not coming back. I feel alright about that at the moment, who knows how long that will be true though.

So, for now I'm off. I most likely will not have a computer next week, so blogs will be few and far between (if at all). Pray for me eh, that my family is safe and that the move goes smoothly.

My room is a mess. There are bags and other things all over the floor, and I hate it. I hate stepping in my room and having to scout out where my foot can go. I guess after loading everything up later tonight though it will look too empty. I can't win.

So there were a few more crying sessions this morning, and a huge one last night. Things have been good this afternoon though. I did a some last minute shopping with my mom, finished my photo album, and packed a few more things. I got a 5k (hecka long) email from one of my roomies today, that was super cool. Of course, it was in responce to one that was probably just as long. I'm excited about getting to hang out with her and learn and be challenged by her (as well as my other roomie). I know that God has so many lessons in store for me. A lot of them will be hard I'm sure, but I'm looking forward to the change and to the challenge.

I guess that's it for now. You'd think I'd be more long winded the day before moving day. Guess not. Sorry to disappoint.

Let me sum up the last two days in a couple words: packing and socializing.

When you're about to leave, everyone realizes that it's their last chance to hang out with you, so you end up with a complete overload of visits. Today I said my hardest goodbye yet, and no it wasn't to one of my closest friends. It was to my grandparents. I didn't even think about it being hard. But when I was driving home tonight from their house the tears started welling and they wouldn't stop.

My mom's parents are awesome. That's not to say I don't love my dad's parents, but I get along really well with my mom's. They've lived within half an hour of my house my whole life, so I've seen a lot of them. I've probably never gone more than about 6 weeks without seeing them. Tonight my dad and I went over there for dinner. As usual it was delicious, and we had a lot of good conversation over dinner. I love it when my grandparents get on tangents about their life and people they've known and jobs they've had. I wasn't around then, (obviously) so I don't know about that portion of their life. My dad brought my band's CD over there and let them hear it. They were both so proud. My grandmother came over to me after it was finished and gave me a big hug and told me "I'm so proud of you." Growing up it was her dream to sing with a band. She could have done it too, if the war hadn't broke out.

I know the hardest goodbye is yet to come though, and that will be my parents. Yes, I'm glad to get out of the house and not have to live under so many rules. I love them though, and there haven't been too many times that I haven't wanted to be here. I never went through a rebellious phase, or a phase where I thought I hated them. I'm so grateful for them, and it's going to be hard to live apart from them. I just need to remember I'm living apart from them, but not without them. They're always a phone call away. Now I'm crying. That's the signal to end this.

This is hilarious.

Today I started packing. Well, actually I started organizing so that packing will be easier. Thinking about it, I guess I really didn't do all that much, but at least I can say I got started. I know what I need to bring, it's just a matter of cramming it all into the car and taking it down to school. It can't be that hard, right?

The last couple days I've been wanting to make a list of the things I've learned in the past year from being in a band. So, in no particular order and completely off the top of my head, here's my list.

Things I learned this year from being in a band:
1. Communication is key, along with commitment
2. It takes a little work for even a Taylor to sound wonderful plugged in
3. Punctuality shows respect and honor to those you are meeting
4. My voice isn't all it's cracked up to be
5. With the right technique and some work my voice can be better than it's cracked up to be
6. Studios don't have windows. That way you can't tell what time of day it is
7. My songs are kinda weird
8. Singing is half singing, half talking. Otherwise no one will understand a word you say
9. The studio exposes every error you make and every bad note you hit
10. The studio can fix errors you make and every bad note you hit
11. Famous musicians use a pitch correcter when they make albums
12. Stage presence is much harder than it looks
13. It's all about having connections
14. No one is perfect, but if you're going to be on stage you need to be walking the walk
15. Autographing your band's CD is extremely fun

I need to lay down a few ground rules with the poll.

1. Vote only once. A skewed poll is lame. Please don't make my poll lame.
2. Vote your opinion, not what other people advirtise on their site *cough* mel
3. This waterdeep CD is really good. Shoot, that wasn't a rule was it. Goodnight.

Note to self: If you happen to marry a man with the last name Crispy, do not name your child Coco.

Yes, there is a player on the Cleveland Indians named Coco Crispy. I feel sorry for that guy. Must have had a rough childhood.

I had my first book buying experience today. It was hell. Sheer hell. Like Arizona in the summer time.

My quest started at about 11:50. I logged on to my school's bookstore, and found that things were taking a relatively long time to load. Actually, they were taking an obscene amount of time to load. As I progressed some things got faster because I was going back to pages which had already loaded before, but if i went to a new page it would take several minutes. Getting the books for my five classes into the checkout stage took an hour or better. Then, as I proceeded through checkout things got worse and worse. I then discovered I needed to have an account with the bookstore, so in order to do that I needed to go through a sign in page, a new member form page, and another confirmation page. Then I finally got to checkout, where I typed in my credit information. I thought I would be safe from there, but no, five minutes later when the next page loaded there was yet another confirmation page. I clicked continue on that page, but the computer refused to budge. I was ticked. I decided to go put some mail in the mailbox (a good deal up the driveway from my house). I came back, still nothing had happened. Then finally, the page changed. Timed out it said. Of course it timed out! No program is going to accept a credit card number that's been sitting around 15-20 minutes!

Desperately I pressed the back button on the browser several times, going back to where it asked for the credit card information. My hope was to fill out that information again, and hopefully everything else would load fast enough that it wouldn't time out this time. No such luck. In fact, from that point I don't think another page ever loaded.

At this point it was about 1:20 and I was very frustrated. So, I decided to call the campus bookstore. Eight-hundred number: busy. Long distance: score. I told the woman on the phone my situation, that I'd gotten all the way to check out (after an hour and a half) but everything was so slow that I kept timing out. I asked her if there was any other options and a couple seconds later she replied "Well, I could take your order here over the phone." At that moment the heavens opened and I saw many angels rejoicing in heaven. (Really, you can ask my mom.) So, I ordered my books over the phone in about twenty minutes, which seemed years shorter than my ordeal online. Two hours later my mom and I were finally out of the house to run the errands we needed to.

And all I can think is how I can't wait until next semester when I have to do this all over again!

Today I said all my church goodbyes. I think I actually had a harder time walking out of the "80s church" than out of my home church, which I've attended the last sixteen (or so) years of my life. I guess things were always more emotional and passionate at the 80s church, and that's why I'll miss it so much. I also felt like I'd really found a church that was biblical and really persuing God. Churches like that shouldn't be hard to find, but sometimes they are. I was sad walking out of my home church tonight as well, but it wasn't emotional like this morning. I'll be there later this week hanging out with the junior highers, so it's not as final as my goodbye to the 80s church. This week's gonna be full of goodbyes, and I'm not really looking forward to it. And I need to start packing. I don't want to pack. I've never even moved in my life (unless you count when I was three, which I don't remember). I don't know how to move. I don't know how to cope with new surroundings. I don't know how to cope without my parents! I'm going to stop before I fail the mission again. (Look to the left to see the mission Ali.)

I got my hair cut today. What a load off. I may only have 2-3 inch long hair, but that doesn't mean I don't have a lot of it. Here's a quote from my hairsylist to make my point.

"Yeah, pretty much you have a crapload of hair."

So I'm home and the gig's over. My last time playing with my band. I thought maybe it would be hard or that I would be sad, but I'm not at the moment. I felt almost nothing on stage. Maybe it was the fact that I've played that venue so many times. Whatever it was, I didn't feel anything special tonight. What was sweet though is that we sold our CD's tonight. Twenty CDs our first night, not bad, not bad at all. It was fun to sign them. I need to work on a signature. Mine sucks hard core. Well, actually my full signature isn't too bad, but there's not time to write the whole thing. Jennifer Knapp looks like she signs about four letters. I assume there's a J in there somewhere. You can make it out if you look closely.

So, yet another piece of this chapter in my life closes. This is definitely the biggest transition I've ever faced in my life. I know for certain I'm not ready...on my own. I'm just trying to keep in mind that He has prepared me for this place, for this change, and will give me what I need to get through it. For that, I am eager.

I'm off to the dentist now. Let's hope they don't kill my mouth, my band's playing tonight.

Good grief, is it just me or are the comments taking about ten years to load. Thanks to anyone who's waiting it out and commenting anyway. You make me feel special. Now I guess I'll keep waiting for them to load.

Everything yesterday went really well. I found my roomie's house quite easily (though I did pass her gate twice), and I had a great time meeting her family and some of her friends at church. We hung out for a couple hours when I first got there. We mostly talked and fooled around. Her best friend was over as well, so it was cool to get to meet her. That night at church was family night, so there was a potluck before the service. Sometimes potluck's can be pretty sketch, but this one was good. I was very pleased. Eating dinner also gave me a lot of time to meet her friends and talk to them a bit. I think I heard about 30 people's names. I remember about five. Not bad I'd say. After dinner we went to church. The kids did a couple of songs at the beginning, and they were pretty cute. Worship was really good. Their church doesn't have a drummer right now, but they did a really good job of keeping things on a steady beat. I think it helped that the two guitarists had Taylors that were really bassy. On a couple of songs one of the guitarists picked up an egg shaker and a tambourine and played those instead. The only thing about worship that drove me nuts is that we were sitting down. I was seriously ready to bust out of that pew! I should have actually, it probably would have started a trend. This summer it's been so cool to be going to places where I'm not involved in a worship team. Don't get me wrong, I love to participate in leading worship, but sometimes it's good to be there as a "normal" participant.

After church we hung around a little while then headed back to my roomie's house because it was getting late. I got my band's rough CD out of my car and let her listen to it. She thought it was very good, I was flattered. After that I said my goodbyes and was on my way.

At least I thought I was on my way.

My roomie's house is at the end of a long driveway. At the end of the driveway is a gate. My roomie told me to drive up to the gate slowly, and it would open automatically. However, on the way out the gate opens toward your car, so you can't get too close unless you want a nice dent. So, I drove down the driveway, approached the gate and nothing. So, I backed up and tried again. I did this about ten times before deciding to call their house on my cell phone. Busy. I tried a few more times. No go. So, I backed up all the way down their driveway to find them all outside. Were they watching me that whole time? No, they couldn't have been. I don't think you can see the gate from the house...at least I hope not. They told me I needed to drive closer to it. Closer! My car's going to get smashed! So, I drove up the driveway again, got what I thought was rediculously close to a gate that was about to swing toward me, and it finally opened. At this point I am frustrated and feel like a huge dork for not being able to drive my car through their gate. I guess God's just trying to keep me humble. All and all though, a very excellent visit. Very weird that I will see them all again in a little over two weeks.

Yet again I have failed at the mission. It wasn't a full-on break down, just some serious tears. So maybe I only failed the mission half way.

Today I meet one of my roommates. She lives about an hour away, so I'm driving out to her place and we're going to go to her church together. I can't think of a better way to break the ice with someone than to worship with them. I'm glad we have that common bond, and I know it will hold us together through any of the rough patches we might have over the next eight months. Lets hope I find her place without too much trouble. I'm nervous about it, but excited as well. I'll be sure to post about it when I get back.

I had Bible study at the church with the junior highers today, as I do every Tuesday. We're going through first John, and it's been a pretty good study. The girl who runs it is really good about letting the kids draw from it on their own, rather then telling them the "book" or "commentary" answer. Sometimes though, the kids are off. It's not surprising, I'm sure I misinterpret the Bible sometimes too. However, part of it is due to their age. That's ok. But sometimes I wonder when we need to correct them. There have been a couple times that a kid has come up with something, and all that flashes through my mind is "theologically incorrect, theologically incorrect." I know the kids aren't going to get everything exactly right, and there are a lot of paradoxes in Christianity that are either hard or impossible to explain. However, I wonder where the balance is between letting them search and telling them the answer. Things like a kid saying everyone is a child of God, or that God lives in everyone and that's why we should love our brother. Both statements are very wrong. Not everyone is a child of God, and God isn't in everyone. Everyone is made in God's image, but that doesn't mean God dwells in them. Another misconception was the reversal of God is love. Love is not God. If a kid shares that idea and isn't corrected, I think they'll assume they must be right. A lot of misconceptions can be born out of that. God forgive me if I haven't opened my mouth enough this summer at Bible study...

These words brought tears to my eyes today. Because I'm emotional like that. It's a good song though, props to pc3.

Now I'm starting it up
And I filled up my cup
And now I'm lost in your love
And it's more than a memory
And now I've starting again
Cause what I thought was the end
Was another beginning from here to eternity
I'll sing
hallelujah

My replacement versateller card came in the mail today. My name was spelt the exact same way, wrong. Explain that one to me.

My mom reset my watch last night. It's been running ever since. I wish it would make up its mind.

So I bought a watch yesterday. The battery stopped this morning. Guess I'll be going back to the store tomorrow and demanding a new battery. And just when I was starting to feel responsible...

Saul's (Paul's) conversion:

As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?"
"Who are you Lord?" Saul asked.
"I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting," He replied. "Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do." Arts 9:3-6

And Paul did it. He did what the Lord told him to for the rest of his life.

For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on the that day-and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Tim 2:6-8

Lord let me live my life in such a way.

Today I bought a watch. I've bought watches before, but they've always been really cheap because I have a tendency to lose them. Or maybe I loose them because they're cheap so I'm not careful with them. This is a nice watch though, so I'm going to have to be careful with it. Its purchase brought on the cold reality that in a couple weeks I'm going to be responsible for myself. No more parents looking after me, I'm going to be on my own. Lately I've been excited about it though, so that's been good. I really doubt that will be the situation next week though.

Fourteen days until I move.

Notice the absense of blogging all day? This would be because I went to the city (the term "the city" here means San Francisco) with two of my friends. We left with intentions of going to the museum of modern art, but ended up at the exploratorium. From there we went to Pier 39 and wandered around a bit before heading home. On our way back we stopped in San Rafeal for ice cream. There was this girl at the ice cream place that had a tattoo of a blue house with a W in it on her calf. What would posses someone to put that lame of a tattoo on themselves? I have no clue. One of my friends told the other she'd give her five dollars if she asked the girl what her tattoo meant. So she did. We were laughing histerically. In the end it ended up being a really lame explaination. If I had a tattoo that weird, with that lame of a story I'd definitely make up a story whenever anyone asked me about it. Turned out she had a roomate for two years named Will, hense the house with the W. Riiiiiight. Oh, and Will was a girl. I feel sorry for that kid, must have been teased a lot as a child. I definitely won't be tattooing myself with my roomates initials any time soon...or ever.

My eyes are closing rapidly. Maybe that's because it's late and I had an exhausting day today. Never underestimate the exhaustion power of five junior high aged boys. Excuse me while I go have a long talk with my pillow...

This is how coordinated I am. A moment ago I was feeding the dog. I dished out her food and added all her medication. I bent over to set the dish down for her, and as I did the dish slipped out of my hand. Dog food all over the kitchen floor. I took out a broom and swept it all into a pile by my dog's dish hoping she would eat it like that. No go. So, I had to clean up all the dog food (and it's the dry stuff mind you, so I had all these little chunks to pick up) and feed her again. I'm such a nerd.

This is a shout out to Martin Smith and Delirious? Delirious? is a phenominal band, and Martin Smith writes some awesome stuff. The day I use mezzanine in a song I will exclaim "That's it! I can die a happy woman!" Ok maybe that's a bit extreme, but I would be excited.

Yes I'm living for today, when our dreams won't go away
And the promise that you gave
To see the earth resound with praise
And I believe it's time to change
And yes, I need your hand to break these chains

And love falls down on me - Martin Smith

This summer I'm working with the Junior High group at my church. Every Tuesday we have Bible study then JHO (just hangin' out). A couple weeks ago at JHO, we found a random couch cushion that would not fit on any of the couches in the youth room. So, we decided to duct tape it to the wall and put a sign next to it that read, "For a twinkie: How is this like God?" The cushion stayed up a couple of days, and has been in the youth room since. Yesterday we decided that we should send it to the high schoolers who are all at camp right now. We took some cardboard which was also in the youth room (you can find anything in a youth room) and made a custom box for it. We also put in random pieces from the room: pieces of the map from pirate night, a sign that said crew (the name of the JH group), an air hockey puck, a supersoaker, and some candy. Today we're going to deliver it to them. Everyone else will be getting letters or small packages, and they'll get this gigantic box which is sealed quite well with duct tape.

I love working with the JHers. I'll miss doing random things with them when I go to school.

Yesterday I got my versateller card in the mail. My name was spelt wrong on it. So, today my mom and I called up the bank to see about getting my name changed. After they went back through the computer they found that my name was spelled correctly in my account. So basically, whoever made this card decided to not double check and spelled my name wrong. My name which they had sitting right in front of them. You'd think someone would double or triple check the spelling on something that important. Guess not.

Who may ascend the hill of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false.
Pslam 24:3-4

A friend of mine pointed this verse out to me today. It instantly reminded me of a Sara Groves song called Know My Heart.

Why do I pray-do I pray to say I prayed an hour?
Why do I love-do I want you beholden to me?
Why do I help-do I want to hear my name called out?
Why do I sing?

Search me and know my heart O God
See if there is any wrong thing in me
All I have ever really wanted
Are clean hands and a pure heart

Why do I tithe-do I tithe so I can get a blessing?
Why do I praise-do I praise to do the right thing?
Why do I serve-do I serve so others will serve me?
Why do I sing?


I think I can get very legalistic in my faith. It's always been that way for me. Legalism is what trapped me before I was willing to understand that Christianity is about relationship, not a list of dos and don'ts. It's so much easier to be caught up in doing what's "right" and thinking that it's enough. Often I judge my own walk that way. Well, I'm not doing anything majorly wrong, so I must be ok. Surely I'm much stronger than the people around me who are stumbling over so many trivial things. My self-imposed "righteousness" often causes me to neglet things which are vital to the relationship part of my faith. No need to confess, study, repent or seek when I'm not doing anything wrong, correct? Wrong. I deceive myself so easily.

And in reality, my "righteousness" is just garbage to Him anyway. At least if it were in order to please Him He would at least see that motive in my heart and be pleased with that. I wonder how often that is really the case. What does it take for me to realize that I need clean hands and a pure heart, and that it's not the "major" things that keep me from having them. It's a part of being human.

Search me and know my heart O God. See if there is any wrong thing in me. All I have ever really wanted are clean hands and a pure heart

After hours of work I've finally finished a template I was working on for a friend. Funny thing is that she doesn't even know I did it. I guess she'll find out soon enough. Actually this was the second template I've made this week, because the first one I made was hideous. I started almost completely from scratch again tonight (minus the main image) and things came out much better. It still took hours though. I had to do way too much tweaking and adjusting to make things come out right.

My mom came in the room at one point while I was staring at some raw html and was trying to fix it. Every time she sees me doing stuff like that (which actually isn't that often) she's always so amazed. I was trying to explain how CSS worked to her, and since I know no technical terms I probably made it sound even more confusing than it is, therefore making it sound more impressive. It was an accident.

I promise I won't post again about html for a long time.

Here comes my first attempt here to rid myself some emotion. I can't really put a finger on how I feel. It's some odd combination of confusion and frustration and hurt and anger. My parents really made me angry tonight. I know it was mostly out of ignorance and that they're just trying to look out for me, but I felt so belittled. Ok, so I am the child so maybe I should be little, but haven't I shown them that I'm capable of making good decisions?

I feel like they've torn down my values. I know in reality they haven't and that they support me, but in this instance I feel like my ideals are so different from theirs. Why can't they try to understand how I feel in this situation? Do they realize they don't know all the details, and that I possibly couldn't explain everything in a matter of two minutes? Can't they just seek to understand and test things as I have. I'm not making blind value judgements, that would be foolish. For the most part I don't follow any nonsensical whim, I do what I feel led to do, after testing and thinking. Praying should be added to that list, but I probably don't do it often enough for it to be included. These are resonable, virtuous decisions though. I think they might see my good intentions, but they don't understand my conclusion. It seems they don't want to, and it's really frustrating to me.

I can't even imagine growing up in a household with little or no parental support. Tonight my parents don't support one decision of mine, and it's sent me into a frenzy. How could I ever cope if they didn't support anything I've done with my life? I should be grateful for that, and I am. Right now I'm just angry and need to blow off some steam.

Help the needy. Isn't that a Biblical concept? Yes Paul says everyone must work for their food, but not those who unable able. Aren't we to help the sick and the poor? It was Jewish law to leave the edges of your feild unharvested for the poor. They didn't grow that food, it was a gift to them because they were in need. They were allowed to be helped, why can't I do the same?

Kids are cool. This morning I worked with my mom in a sunday school class for 5th and 6th graders, and I had a lot more fun than I expected to. The kids are working on a puppet show to put on for the preschoolers next week, and I was in charge of one of the three groups while everyone was rehearsing. These kids are so great. I found myself so proud of my group and was beaming the whole time they did their puppet show for the rest of the class. Unfortunately, one of our main people won't be there next week for the performance, but my mom said she got a good sub. Imagine this...a sheep sock puppet, a sock puppent meant to look like a sheep but instead looks like a lizard, two slightly deformed sheep puppets, and the shepard. It's priceless. The kids have done a good combination of goofy and serious as well, I think that shows a lot of maturity on that part.

I'm becoming a lot more prone to liking kids lately. It kinda scares me, but it's been cool as well. I guess I had to start to like them sometime.

Here is a haiku for your enjoyment

I got a cell phone
Free nation-wide long distance
On nights and weekends

I suppose I should say a little bit about my night yesterday. I had a great time hanging out with my classmates. It was just like old times, except better somehow. Maybe it's just because I haven't had to deal with them on a regular basis, and therefore really miss seeing them. We talked about college and when we were leaving and if we'd contacted our roomates. It's so weird to think that in a couple weeks we will all be gone. A lot of us will be in so cal though, within an hour or so of each other. I'm glad about that, it won't make getting together overly difficult.

Bethany wasn't there. I was disappointed, but not completely surprised either. Maybe I should call her and tell her that we missed her, that would at least give us a little something to talk about. It's so hard to know what to do. I don't want to rub salt in any wounds, but at the same time I don't want to be completely out of her life. Whenever I catch myself missing Mel my second thought is always how much more Bethany and her family must miss her dad. My feelings of lonliness (which are slowly subsiding, God is good) are nothing compared to theirs.

My second classmate to leave goes a week from today. I need to call her up so we can hang out, because she wasn't there last night. It's all sortof like this scary sci-fi movie, where everyone is taken away one by one. I'm glad I fall somewhere in the middle. One guy doesn't have to leave until late september, after everyone else is gone. I'd hate to be the only one left. It would get very lonely. Then again, we'll all probably be pretty lonely the first month anyway.

Don't forget to take the poll.

We're going to take a poll, because I feel like it. So here's the question, give your answer in the comment area below.

Do you find it odd or slightly OCD for a person to make their bed before they get into it?

Today I'm going out to dinner with some of my high school classmates. It's so odd to say that, "my highschool friends." Highschool is a thing of the past, believe it or not, and I'm never going there again. I don't know who will be there tonight, but for once I don't really care. I used to be more particular about who was showing up at an event, but I haven't seen any of them (except for one for about ten minutes) for at least a month. I won't care if there's only three other people there, I will be so glad to see them. I'm really hoping to see one girl in particular though. Her dad died two and a half weeks ago, and I haven't got ahold of her since then. I didn't find out he had passed away until almost two weeks after the fact. I called her a couple days later, but she wasn't home. I left a message and told her she could call me back, but I probably wouldn't feel much like talking either if I was her. I really hope she'll be there tonight, and we can encourage her at least in some small way. If you think of it, pray for the Porter family, especially Bethany as she might have a lot of people asking her how she's doing tonight. Asking people how they are can be a good and bad thing. It's good because it shows concern, but it's bad because it brings back the memories. I'm hoping I can find the balance, and more than anything can show comfort and support when she needs it.