Monday, February 28, 2005

I miss Sydney today. Just now. And this whole weekend really. Which is funny because I had a really great weekend. Maybe the good times and good people reminded of it...and the fact that I saw Brooke Fraser in concert on Friday night. Freakin awesome. Can I go to Hills on Sunday for church? Or how about Hillsong Women. I bet that's starting up again soon. Anyone wanna buy me a plane ticket?

Friday, February 25, 2005

Wow I'm really behind in this thing. Not going to catch up now. I just wanted to share a fun fact from one of my classes yesterday. My prof was talking about translation, specifically from Hebrew into other languages for the Old Testament. He was saying how it's difficult to translate metaphors from language to language, and you have the decision to either translate it literally or just carry the metaphor over. For example, things like "the Lord's right hand" cross over. Now here's a great one that he shared with us that doesn't cross over. Whenever the Hebrew text says that God had compassion, it literally says that God had a uterus. I think that's the funniest thing ever.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Sooooooooo I just found out that my plans for this next weekend have completely changed. For the past month+ I've thought I was going to Mexico this weekend for a retreat with my missions team. The plans changed about a day ago. I guess everything is way too wet and muddy down there and it would be totally impossible to accommodate 200 people camping. So no weekend in Mexico, which is a little disappointing, but mainly really good. Instead of three nights in rainy, cold, tents we now have one day session of training at a church in town, and then team time on Saturday. We're not even doing anything on Sunday. I'm bummed that we won't have as much bonding time, but seriously it's such a blessing in terms of schoolwork and health and sleep. Hmm good thing I just got a bunch of stuff for Mexico today. Oh well.

So I just spent the last almost two hours talking to one of my team members. So good. SORE good. I went to talk to her because I missed most of the meeting today and had no idea what was going on - as in I still thought we were going to Mexico. So she filled me in on all that, then we just sat and joked and talked for ages. It was so great. Such good bonding time. I told her before I left, see we didn't even need Mexico! This girl is so great, I'm so stoked to get to know her better. And I'm so happy I get to sleep in my own bed this weekend and not be freezing cold!!!! Now I'm really wound up but I need to go to bed. Eating chocolate right now probably isn't helpful.

So while I'm awake I guess I'll write out this thing I just kinda put together. While I was talking to this girl I was telling her about my times overseas and how God seems to put those things together in my life - namely by ridiculous circumstances. And I was saying how God has been gracious enough to make things really obvious in my life because he'll do the most miraculous and ridiculous things. I was thinking about that and realizing how 1 Corinthians chapter 1 that is, with the foolishness of God being wiser than man's wisdom and how God has choose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise and all that. That has been so true of my life, and that's really amazing especially since my tendency is to rely on myself and my own wisdom. The fact that God chooses to work in my life in such a ridiculous fashion is so amazing of him because it makes it so plain to me that it's not by my might but by His. He doesn't have to do that, but he's chose to and that's really incredible. So that's what I realized like ten minutes ago. And now it's time to stop eating and get ready for bed.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Had a nice weekend down in southtown to see some fam. A portion of them were out with the flu so I didn't get to see them at all, but it was still nice to be down there and see who I could and just be away from school a while. Unfortunately my times down there usually equal less sleep (as this weekend did) which puts me a bit tired and behind when I get back to school. Still, it's worth it.

I always end up thinking when I see my family in San Diego. I think about life and priorities and how I want to end up raising my kids. On Sunday I went shopping for a little bit with my cousin and her 10-year-old girl and her friend. Let me tell you, it is frightening to watch girls half your age walk through Pacific Sunwear and Abercrombie. My 2nd cousin wants this skirt form Abercrombie and my cousin told her no way (as she should). It's crazy. I don't know if I could raise a child in this society. I don't know if I could do it. Things are so so hard. I think it's amplified in California, especially southern California, but it's really insane. So much materialism and pressure and standards to live up to. I didn't know what name brand clothing was when I was a kid. My little cousin was wearing an Abercrombie sweatshirt and her little friend one from Volcom. People my age shop at those stores, not ten year olds. Not to mention I won't even shop at Abercrombie out of principle.

So lots of thinking, which I don't have time to go into more because I'm going to be late for class. Today is going to be a long day, I can feel it.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

So what happened to that writing every day or nearly? I'm definitely skirting the edge of "nearly" right now. Ah well, this is definitely more frequent than the previous while. I've had a pretty good last couple of days. A little up and down, but what else is new? A bit more toward level though which has been nice. Spent Superbowl Sunday alone which was a little tough but not too bad. I ate entirely too much. Probably comfort eating, oh well. But I got to talk to my parents for the first time in a week since I've been home which was nice.

Monday was filled with class. Pretty good times in class though. Then I got out of my last one early which is always extremely helpful. Tuesday is one of my favorite days of the week because I have my Russia meetings on Tuesday. And to make things even better I got to spend some one-on-one time with my team leader early that afternoon. We talked Sydney and Nor Cal and a bit about plans and music. I'd kinda forgotten until a couple of days ago that my leader doesn't know me and therefore doesn't know that I play guitar or how big a part of my life it is. So I talked to her a little about that and she's put me in charge of that aspect of things so that's really awesome. Learning Russian songs. Oh boy. I've heard Russian is extremely difficult. Thank goodness these will be children's songs, we couldn't handle much more.

Had a great time at our meeting that night. Sat next to someone new and had a great time making little comments with her and getting to see her personality. She is definitely someone I want to hang out with. Good times. Our leader really stressed the importance of being in the Word daily and said that as our time to leave gets nearer that Satan is going to be attacking us more and more. Just the night before I'd told one of my friends to ask me how I'm going with God like all the time. I'm really trying to be disciplined in the time that I spend with God. Even though I don't "feel" much right now it's still really important for me to spend that time and to be rooted in the truth of God. And she asked me today how things were with God, and it was cool to be able to say "good" because the past couple days have been good. I've been reading Nehemiah. Israel has a fatty revival in Nehemiah, it's really awesome. And I really like saying Nehemiah. It's not as fun to type.

I really like some of my classes. Or maybe just my church history class, I don't know. But today we were talking about some of the theological differences between Luther and Zwingli (Swiss reformation leader), namely, communion. Zwingli thought of communion as symbolic whereas Luther holds that the body and blood are present with the bread and wine. That was so important to him that he couldn't call his Swiss reformers brothers in Christ. Crazy. I admire how much Luther wants to take Christ at his word, but seriously I don't think we can take every word of Jesus literally. I really don't think he was holding his body in his hand at the last supper when he said "This is my body." Kinda the same thing as when he says you must hate your mother and father etc. if you want to be his follower. You don't have to hate them. You're not supposed to hate anyone. He was making a deeper point. Speaking figuratively. I think that's what he was talking about at the last supper as well. I could go deeper but I don't really want to start a deep theological discussion. But if you disagree with me, know that I have deeper thoughts on it than that, I'm just not putting them here.

Today's Ash Wednesday and I'm thinking I'll probably end up going to the service we're having on campus tonight. I've been debating since it starts late and I have a test tomorrow, but I'm feeling semi okay about the test and I have time to study in the afternoon. I really want to have that time of reflection, especially since I want to take the season of lent more seriously this year. I figure if I need discipline and a time to seek God then lent is definitely a great avenue toward that. Several years ago during lent I decided that I would memorize a verse of Scripture every day. Let me tell you, it was a-ma-zing. I've decided I want to do that again this year. I'm almost good on today's. Only have a few hours left on that, I should probably get it down stronger. So I'm excited for that. That's good for now.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

So I was thinking tonight (okay like ten minutes ago) about journaling and how it's been helpful in my life. In the past week or so I've looked back a couple of times at old stuff and I've realized how much I saw God at work during those times. Part of that is the phase of life you're in. Things work in seasons. But a lot of it is just looking for it I think. A lot of times I let the day go by and don't even reflect on what's been good and what's been bad and everything else. I think I miss a lot of stuff by doing that. I've got to admit that sometimes that is completely intentional. I think it's been that way for the past couple months.

So I'm wondering if I should turn over some new leaf and really commit myself to examining my day. Or maybe not every day, but something close to it. I didn't do much today, but I know that God was present in the midst of it. I didn't get depressed today. That's pretty huge for a weekend. Weekends tend to equal depression. Not much to do, confined to the apartment all day, boring homework...it's not fun. The whole week there are classes and work and people to block things out, but when you get the weekend...well, it's just you. You and your homework, which is even worse. I miss the sense of feeling like where I was at was important. In Australia if I felt that way at least I was still in Australia. I was having an adventure in another country. Now I'm just in the arm-pit of the San Fernando valley, sitting in my apartment with nothing but homework and some laundry to do. But that didn't depress me today.

I went to...I don't know what to call it...some kind of outdoor park/wilderness area with hiking trails and such today. Not the prettiest place I've ever seen by any means, but nice to be out of the apartment. I sat myself down on a rock by a stream and listened to the water flowing by as I did some reading. I think I'm going to have to do stuff like that a lot or I'm going to go insane. I wanted it to be Australia. I wanted it to be the path by Leah's and to walk amongst cool plants and hear the extra noisy (and large) birds and listen to the water lap up against the boats. I wanted to see my little brown boat and think about the things God has promised me and spoken to me in the quietness of my heart. I wanted that kind of beauty. Instead I had mountains with extra large power lines through them and a barren river that ran through rocks and had a pipe going through it. I will never live in Southern California. But it was something. It wasn't alone in my apartment with homework and laundry. So that was God's grace to me today. Sitting by an ugly stream and not being depressed.

I had a good day today with my roommate too. Though we were both gone for most of the afternoon I got to hang out with her last night and tonight. Obviously since she's my roommate I see her a lot, but I haven't had alone time with her, which I really miss. It was a lot like old times these last two nights. Things are different in my friendships now, and that's hard. I'm trusting it will come back to normal, but right now is an adjustment period. Sometimes I feel really awkward around people; people that I know well. But not this weekend (at least not with her) which has been great fun. And I think that's enough processing for now. That's a good healthy start, and I even enjoyed it.