Leaving it Behind

So I was thinking tonight (okay like ten minutes ago) about journaling and how it's been helpful in my life. In the past week or so I've looked back a couple of times at old stuff and I've realized how much I saw God at work during those times. Part of that is the phase of life you're in. Things work in seasons. But a lot of it is just looking for it I think. A lot of times I let the day go by and don't even reflect on what's been good and what's been bad and everything else. I think I miss a lot of stuff by doing that. I've got to admit that sometimes that is completely intentional. I think it's been that way for the past couple months.

So I'm wondering if I should turn over some new leaf and really commit myself to examining my day. Or maybe not every day, but something close to it. I didn't do much today, but I know that God was present in the midst of it. I didn't get depressed today. That's pretty huge for a weekend. Weekends tend to equal depression. Not much to do, confined to the apartment all day, boring homework...it's not fun. The whole week there are classes and work and people to block things out, but when you get the weekend...well, it's just you. You and your homework, which is even worse. I miss the sense of feeling like where I was at was important. In Australia if I felt that way at least I was still in Australia. I was having an adventure in another country. Now I'm just in the arm-pit of the San Fernando valley, sitting in my apartment with nothing but homework and some laundry to do. But that didn't depress me today.

I went to...I don't know what to call it...some kind of outdoor park/wilderness area with hiking trails and such today. Not the prettiest place I've ever seen by any means, but nice to be out of the apartment. I sat myself down on a rock by a stream and listened to the water flowing by as I did some reading. I think I'm going to have to do stuff like that a lot or I'm going to go insane. I wanted it to be Australia. I wanted it to be the path by Leah's and to walk amongst cool plants and hear the extra noisy (and large) birds and listen to the water lap up against the boats. I wanted to see my little brown boat and think about the things God has promised me and spoken to me in the quietness of my heart. I wanted that kind of beauty. Instead I had mountains with extra large power lines through them and a barren river that ran through rocks and had a pipe going through it. I will never live in Southern California. But it was something. It wasn't alone in my apartment with homework and laundry. So that was God's grace to me today. Sitting by an ugly stream and not being depressed.

I had a good day today with my roommate too. Though we were both gone for most of the afternoon I got to hang out with her last night and tonight. Obviously since she's my roommate I see her a lot, but I haven't had alone time with her, which I really miss. It was a lot like old times these last two nights. Things are different in my friendships now, and that's hard. I'm trusting it will come back to normal, but right now is an adjustment period. Sometimes I feel really awkward around people; people that I know well. But not this weekend (at least not with her) which has been great fun. And I think that's enough processing for now. That's a good healthy start, and I even enjoyed it.