Sunday, May 30, 2004


The cutest baby in the world. Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Well it's a week later, and time for an update. I was a member of the workforce. Notice the past tense. Hopefully sometime soon that will become present tense again, but for now there's not work for me at the store. So hang around the house I will, and lots of reading I shall do. I've read two books in the last week, and I loved them both. I finished up Blue Like Jazz this past weekend, then picked up Wild at Heart a few nights ago and finished it yesterday. Two amazing books. They gave me a lot to think about.

I love to read. And I love to think. And I love to think about what I read. That's what I do. I read, then I think. I love that I have free time for that. I'm just loving a lot of things right now aren't I?

This past weekend I was in southtown for my cousin's wedding. It was a crazy weekend, but I had a blast. Friday was my sister's graduation, so we were all over the place for that, then we had to fly out for San Diego the next morning. I had so much fun with my family. My parents and sister finally got to see my cute as heck baby cousin. Hands down the cutest baby in the world. And that's not even the relative in me talking. He really is the cutest. Poor thing is 10+ months old and can't crawl. He's so close though, and he'll probably start walking not too long after. He's so cute though he doesn't really need to crawl. He can just sit there and look cute, and it definitely makes his mom's job easier.

So that's me. Reading and thinking and trying to get some sleep after this past weekend. It's not really working. I haven't fallen asleep before one for a couple nights now. Maybe tonight will be the night. Now it's off with the fam to see Shrek 2.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

I'm a member of the workforce again! Okay maybe not permanently, but in the past two days I've spent eight hours working ("working") which makes for a very happy Krystle. I'm probably going to do about six or seven hours tomorrow too which I'm stoked about. Last night at the store we had a gig/presentation by Greg Bennett. He's done a ton of guitar design and right now he's teamed up with Samick designing guitars for them. I own one actually. They're great sounding guitars for an extremely low price. I'm not quite sure how he does it. So basically last night he would play a few songs (he's a great player) then take some time to talk about different aspects of guitar construction and design. It was ideal for me, being someone who knows enough about guitar design not to get lost, but not much beyond that. He talked about acoustics and also finger picked a ton of stuff. He wasn't the type of player that just blows your mind, but he was super down to earth and inspiring. He played this ridiculous version of Stars and Stripes forever. It even had the crazy piccolo part!

Unfortunately to set up for the event we had to move a ton of bass gear off this stage area in the store and take it across to backstock. Fortunately it's not too far, but moving all that stuff was a huge pain. Literally. Luckily this morning I didn't end up moving any of it back, but I did end up unloading some other gear and I'm definitely feeling it now. I don't ever want to be a bass player. Those amps and cabinets weigh a ton. It's ridiculous. Seriously, these dinky six inch tall heads will weigh more than a medium sized amp. What's up with that?

They're having a huge Marshall event tomorrow which should be really cool. They're going to do it outside and give away some free gear and probably do a lot of demoing. The event will actually be after hours I think and they're going to do a BBQ. Things like this are why I love working in a small town music store. They really make an effort to get the community involved and do a lot of cool and interesting things. Hopefully tomorrow won't involve so much heavy lifting. Luckily I remember a lot of those Marshall stacks having wheels. Here's hoping.

Monday, May 17, 2004

Have I really grown up here? Did I really think this is normal? I've been to a Whole Foods/organic store twice since I've been home. I actually really like Whole Foods but it's too expensive so I'd never regularly shop there. Anyway. I realize Whole Foods is a chain, but still. How many people can I see with dreads walking around Whole Foods? And how many political bumper stickers can I see in one 20 minute drive (because it is a 20-30 minute drive EVERYWHERE). And get this, I started doing yoga last week (no not because I want to worship Satan, I want to be more flexible…make that less inflexible) and seriously EVERYWHERE I go I keep seeing these yoga kit things that have a mat and a tape and this band/rope thing that you can use. I saw it at the bookstore, at two different Target's and I saw it today at the grocery store! This is not normal! And my favorite...the ladies in black. They stand on the corner downtown (yeah, downtown really only has 1 corner) and protest violence every Friday. They wear black. I think this week I saw something about not liking Bush too. But that's practically nor cal's motto.

It's not really weirding me out. Don't get me wrong. I'm not in freak out mode, because this is still home and still somewhat normal to me. You can't undo 16+ years of living here. But I guess the longer I'm away the more I realize how this place really is. You know what else I'm really noticing more than ever - the warfare up here. I know I've also made joking comments about witches and wicca and all kinds of crap going on up here, and I've been aware of that for a long time. But beyond all the really reeeeally out there stuff I'm really aware for the first time about what a spiritually thirsty this place is. Now some people are straight up atheists, but there are tons and tons of people looking for a spiritual experience. Just look at all the yoga mats for sale. Geez. But I've also started to view that in a new way as I consider my own faith. And sadly enough I've found myself thinking about the principles of postmodernism that we talked about in my Luke/Acts class...which I HATED. HATED HATED HATED. I cannot tell you enough. And what's funnier is that I wasn't even there the day we talked about postmodernism! But my roommate and I had a really good acronym for the test to remember that one so I still remember it.

The four principles were mystery, experience, significance, and relationship. So our prof (when I wasn't there) talked about postmodernists longing for each of these things, and made the point that Christianity also has these things to offer. While I was somewhat upset at his seemingly flippant summary of postmodernism, the guy really had a point and I see it now. I'm seeing it firsthand now. Mystery. Christianity is SO full of mystery. So much paradox, so many questions, so much stuff I can't and never will understand. Why did God even bother with all of us? I have no clue. What is God really? I'll never know his fullness. Experience. Man oh maaaaaaaaaaaaan. The fundamentalist in me totally wants to crush this one. "God is not an experience. You can't base you faith on experience. You must be obedient, live a Holy life." Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Yes I know obedience and holy living are crucial. Faith without works is dead. But a person living without grace will soon be dead also I think. Or at least lying on the floor in a heap wondering how in the heck they're going to do all the "work for God" they're supposed to do. Slight tangent, sorry. Enough on that one. Significance. Everyone's longing for it. People want to make an impact, whether it's a good one or a bad one. People are attention hungry. People want to do something that's lasting, something that's outside of themselves. People search for it in all sorts of things - people, work, drugs, sex, business, volunteering, some kind of cause (i.e. impeach bush bumper stickers)...all sorts of things. Relationship. Ok that's pretty self-explanatory I think; I won't go into that one.

Christianity offers all these things. Do you realize that? Maybe you're way ahead of me and you already knew that and you're thinking, "Krystle, why are you assuming I'm dumb. And I don't live in hippie nor cal. Why didn't you stop five paragraphs ago?" But I don't think you're thinking that. At least I hope not. So I'm thinking, if I'm in this area of spiritually hungry, politically interested, organic food eating, Bush protesting society, I'd better learn to be down to earth. I'd better learn that it's not apologetics that's going to convert people. It's talking about God as a REAL, ACTING being, and talking about Jesus as a REAL, LIVING person that has made and makes a DAILY impact in my life. I'd better start talking about him like a person I know, someone who cares for me, someone who I care really deeply about. And I'd better stop being concerned about whether I sound like an idiot or not, because that keeps me from being honest. And a lot of times an honest, "I don't know" sounds way better than some polished apologetic theological BS.

So that's me, a week and two days after being home. I think good old nor cal has something for me the next two months, and I've got something for it too. By the way, a lot of this sudden burst of thinking is also inspired by a book I got Saturday called Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller. Definitely the most unusual book I've ever read, but it's phenomenal. I started it Saturday and finally put it down 50 pages later. This guy has such an unpolished writing style, yet he says everything he wants to say in an unapologetic, honest, and extremely profound way. It's also hilarious. I finally stopped on page 87, now I’m two chapters beyond that. I predict I'll finish it in a few days. It's that good. Check out this guy's writing style.

“At the time I was attending this large church in the suburbs. It was like going to church at the Gap. I don't know why I went there. I didn't fit. I had a few friends, though, very nice people, and when I told them I wanted to audit classes at Reed they looked at me as if I wanted to date Satan. One friend sat me down and told me all about the place, how they have a three-day festival at the end of the year in which they run around naked. She said some of the students probably use drugs. She told me God did not want me to attend Reed College.”

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“The first day of school was exhilarating. It was better than high school. Reed had ashtrays, and everybody said cusswords.”

How funny is that? And his chapters have subtitles like "Sexy Carrot" and "Penguin Sex." Ok I'm really trying to play the curiosity card at this point. Honestly though, this book is amazing. You should read it.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Unlike Mel I'm really having a hard time getting used to blogger's new format. Really though it's all because I don't like change and it's difficult for me to get used to new things. Eventually I'll be alright. Of course, with how often I tend to update it could be quite some time before I'm used to this. Moving on...

This has been a very non-eventful week, which I mostly like. I'm starting to hit the point of boredom though. I seriously don't know what I did over summer when I didn't work. Why wasn't I bored? Why wasn't I driving my mother crazy? Maybe I was. I called my work earlier this week and they said to call back later in the week, which I did today, but I couldn't get ahold of my boss so I left a message. I haven't heard back from him. Let me woooooooooooork I'm so boooooored. I'd be perfectly happy to water the plants right now. Actually I came to a place last year where I really liked watering in the morning. It can be quite nice outside and my arms got a nice tan out of it.

My recent discovery has been yoga. I'd been turning the idea over in my mind for the last week or two of school. Here's the deal - I am the least flexible person on the face of the earth. Really, I am. So it's been really good to have something that focuses on relaxation, posture, breathing, and strengthening which are all things I need. My back is so messed up and I know it's because of my bad posture and weak stomach muscles. So hopefully this will help me out. I have a really good video with hosts that are nice but not super whacked. I'm excited about it.

I have all my paperwork done for Australia, which is a really weird feeling. I got my visa early this week and I put in a housing application too. Figuring out where exactly I'm going to live is my present challenge, then there's going to be a slight lull until the packing nightmare begins. Last night I had a sort of two-in-one dream/nightmare about LAX. I remember having a dream or two last year before I went, but it certainly wasn't two months before I was going to go. It my dream I had somehow ended up driving to LAX, but had come in a different entrance (I think there's only one entrance) and could not find my terminal. Then somehow I think I was in a terminal that was underwater or something. But I think I could breathe. Then I met up with my parents finally too. It was definitely a weird one. Speaking of flying, I haven't received my tickets in the mail yet which isn't freaking me out but I'm starting to get concerned. I think if I don't get them by Monday the travel agency is going to get a little call. They gave me no time frame on how long it would take so I have no idea if this is normal or if they should have been here by now.

To change subjects completely, I've been doing a bit of deep thinking this week but not so much right at this moment. One thought though. I've been thinking lately about the nature of Christianity and I've been asking, "Wow, is this what it really is?" Sometimes I find it a bit weird. Like the whole God chose a nation, and the whole animal sacrifice thing and the deal with blood and purity laws and all that. Then we have Jesus coming on the scene and dying this unbelievably brutal death that was completely necessary for our atonement and it's just like...whoa. Sometimes it just seems so...I'm not sure. Out there maybe? I guess our culture is so far removed from that it's hard to wrap my head around sometimes. When I was driving home from school my Mom choose a lot of the music, which meant we listened to a lot of old but good music I haven't brought out in a while. Midway through the drive she popped in Jars of Clay's first CD, and a line off the first song really hit me (sorry can't remember the title). You know that line that goes, "Flesh and blood/Is it so elemental?" Well it really hit me for the first time. I'd never really paid attention to that line before but that subject has really been interesting to me lately. It is elemental, and sometimes it's just weird in my head but other times it makes such perfect sense and blossoms into this crazy beautiful intense story. I guess that's part of the mystery. Thoughts are welcome.

Sunday, May 09, 2004

How's this for a great homecoming. I have explained to many people at school that I live in a really unusual area and that sometimes this communish place down the street has these weird gatherings and we can hearing drumming emanating from the gathering. Well yesterday after seven hours on the road we're finally approaching my house, and what do I see? Yes that's right, tons of cars lining the streets and people in hippie garb heading toward the commune houses. My mom rolled down the window and said she didn't hear any drumming, but she did hear music. What a welcome back to hippie land.

So yes I'm at home and mostly it's just weird, but the prospect of not having homework and just relaxing is very nice. I enjoyed getting over 6 hours of sleep last night and I'm looking forward to the fact that tomorrow will be the same way. So now it's just hanging out, finishing unpacking (I did most of it yesterday, can you believe that?) and hanging out with some fam tonight. We're going to French food. Yuuuuuuuuuuuuum. Happy Mother's Day!

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Last night in the mod. Everyone say bye. Friends was a little too close for comfort tonight. Our place looks like Monica and Chandler's empty apartment...except not nearly as nice and a way crappy oven. I hope I get to go to sleep soon. All I want is my bed.
It's over. Let everyone say "amen." I've started packing up some stuff but I can't really do much because I don't have anything to pack it in. So I guess my parents and I will just take the brunt of it tomorrow afternoon when they get here. I'm okay with that; I'd rather not have it be a long, drawn-out process.

The tests yesterday went pretty well for my taste, and my two today were easy as heck. You gotta love how I prepared for my conducting final for less than half an hour (didn't even practice the song all the way through) and probably got an A. I'm so glad that class is over. I really like conducting but I was so sooo over that class months ago. Probably had something to do with the fact that we had a million assignments that took hours and hours, and the fact that the class is from 1-2:30 which should really be naptime.

So right now I'm sitting here waiting for my friend to call me and tell me she's back so we can hang out. All my roommates are out doing errand type things, and I'm presently done with my packing. I'm definitely in denial still, otherwise I think I'd be freaking out and getting sentimental over anything and everything. I can't wait to watch the finale of friends tonight and have no homework or finals to worry about. Just hanging out with my roommates watching great TV completely stress free. There's nothing better.

I played my guitar yesterday for the first time in ages. I think since I've been back from Easter break I haven't really had the time to even think about playing it. In fact, it had been so long that after about 10 minutes my fingers had already begun to hurt. Yikes. It was a lot of fun though. I was playing for a friend/acquaintance who didn't know I played guitar but saw my Taylor in the corner and wanted to see it. It was cool to talk with her a bit about guitars and other things, but it was also a bummer to find out what we had in common three days before I'm leaving. That sort of stuff is supposed to happen at the beginning of the year so you can hang out and become friends. Darn.

Well, now I'm sitting here with five more minutes having passed still in the same situation I was in five minutes ago. I pulled something in my back/shoulder yesterday trying to throw a basketball over a fence to someone. I was in immense pain. I think it's the combination of writing essays in my really small messy handwriting, slouching at my computer, slouching studying, slouching anytime, and throwing the basketball that did it. I feel like an old woman. Oh wait I am an old woman. And with that I'm out, gotta go put my dentures back in.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

My roommates are packing a bunch of stuff from our living room. It's depressing. I actually haven't walked out there to see what it looks like now and I don't really want to.

At this moment I'm officially halfway through my finals in terms of numbers of tests, but I think the bulk of difficulty is greater on the second half. I have the test I'm most nervous about later this afternoon. I've done some good studying with my roommate for the last hour or more and I'm feeling a lot better about it. Still, I'll be glad (and probably angry) when it's over.

This weekend I stayed in Southtown for the last time. I'll be down there again in a few weeks for a wedding, but that's going to be a really quick trip. I can't believe I'm not going to see my cousins for such a long time. The boys are going to be so big when I get back. I'm sad that I'll miss so much. But I know my time overseas will be amazing. I have to keep reminding myself that the pluses and minuses will even out (and I believe do more than come out even). I only have two more nights here at school, one in a hotel, then it's the long drive home. I'm really happy to go. I'm just so over school and work and studying. Give me my own room, a five hour work day, lots of free time to play instruments, and a church where I actually know people and feel involved. Not to mention the air is clean, my family is nearby, and it's not ridiculously hot. Sweet hippieland I hear you calling.