Leaving it Behind

Last night I wasn't tired so I decided to read through some of my old journals. It proved a bit difficult. I have a bad habit of getting halfway (or less) through a journal then starting another one. I'm not sure why it happens, but it always seems to. I read four different journals, but the amount of writing in those journals was hardly enough to fill two. It was really interesting to read things from my freshman and sophomore years of high school. In some ways it doesn't seem that long ago, but really some of that stuff was almost five years old. It's crazy to see where I've been and how I've changed and grown. I am literally a different person then I was five years ago. Of course a 20 year old is going to be different than a 15 year old, but I'm still amazed at what God has done. It was a kick to read through some of my old prayers and see the issues that I had then and how some of them are so different than now, but some of them are still exactly the same. This sounds bad, but I also couldn't believe my maturity. I found myself wondering if I was just really good at the Christianese or if I was actually that mature in my faith at 15 and 16. Maybe I combination of both. It's interesting though to now be second guessing my own sincerity four to five years ago. God knows though, and I'm so grateful for all the work He did in my life during those years and all He's continued to do.

Yesterday was my last day at work, and today was filled with packing. Well, I wouldn't say it was filled with packing, but that was the main activity of the day. I hate packing so much. Besides things which involve pain or extreme discomfort, packing is my least favourite activity in the world. Unpacking is fine; not my favorite, but it's a million times better than packing. Tomorrow's the big moving day. We're actually not leaving as early as originally intended which will be nice on the sleep tonight. Still, it's going to be a long haul tomorrow. I think I'll have a good time though, busting some tunes with my mom.

I am shocked at how good I feel right now. I'm not upset at all. I'm not nostalgic at all. Heck, I'm practically excited. This year stands in stark contrast to last year. I think mainly it's because there's so many less unknowns. I know who I'm living with, I know how things at the school work, I know the area fairly well, I have a kitchen and a living room, and I have friends. Adjusting will be so much easier this year. That's not to say I won't be challenged. I'm really hoping for the challenge actually; eager for a chance to be changed and worked on by God. Since things have gotten back to normal after Australia things between He and I have gotten a bit lax again (definitely on my part, not His). I'm stoked to have the change of scenery and change of schedule. I'm stoked to go to chapel and worship Jesus four times a week. Far out man, I can't believe I'm excited for school. God is good.