Leaving it Behind

So the test from hell is over. It's so lovely. I pretty much have nothing going on school wise until after Spring break, which is so nice. Of course after Spring break the flood gates are going to break loose and all hell will rise, but that's a good three weeks away. Let's not think about that now.

Lots of things on my mind recently. Most of them have been building over the semester and some of them are more recent. I definitely wrote 7 pages in my paper journal last night on some of these topics. I think I've been letting myself become a bit intellectually constipated since I've been back here. Everyone's just so busy and everything I haven't really had too many conversations on these kind of issues. Or like none at all. I think none would be more accurate. Let's outline some of these topics:

- Am I more impacted by the fact that I am an American or by the gospel of Christ
- Is there any hope for the unpersecuted, consumeristic American church (which I am invariably a part of)
- Is a worship service all just emotional manipulation
- How do I comfort others going through difficult circumstances
- How do I comfort and love others without fostering dependency
- Why are so many people struggling with self image at my school and why is it that many of them didn't struggle in this area until they came here
- Why are 15 out of 19 people that come into the cardio room within half an hour at my school female, and is this related to the above question

That's just the tip of the iceberg folks. Lots of deep stuff, and all things I don't have figured out yet. I've been really haunted by that first question since I've been back from Aus, and it keeps coming up all over the place here which I really appreciate. I don't think I was ever fully aware of how much a product of my culture and of the world I am. Even my views of people and poverty and punishment and those sorts of things are so shaped by American republic and democracy rather than the Word of God. And we treat people really crappy in American culture as well. I know, this is the nation of "have it your way" and "the customer is always right," but that's all for a buck ya know? How do we treat each other outside of that? We're so wrapped up in our own little lives. My Russia team leader was telling us how in Russian culture if you tell someone you want to spend time with them they'll set aside like a whole day for you. In my stupid college bubble lets hang out means "okay I have an hour, let's try to squeeze in as much as I can." I understand business, I really do...but are we really loving people? Am I really loving people? I think my view is really skewed most of the time.

I think that's enough ranting for now. I just lost my train of thought.