Leaving it Behind

I gave up religion today.

I'm not "walking away", I'm not "backsliding", and I'm not "following my heart." I'm done with the religion. I'm done with the attitude, with the pride, with the huge wall that I put around my heart. I don't want to have the false humility anymore. I don't want to go about my day deceived into thinking that my life is somehow important, that God should look out for me, that He needs me. He doesn't.

I can't even remember what it's like to live before God in a completely open way. It's been so long since I've walked around without all the walls and without the pride. Somehow I've made myself out to be some "spiritual leader." Who am I really? How dare I think so highly of myself, and all the while think that I have a real relationship with God. The only relationship I have with Him is one of experience, feelings, false humility, and short-lived promises. I don't want to make another promise. I just want to get away from the religion. I want to walk each day with my heart bare before him in complete honesty. And I want to live that honesty with those around me. That's a bit harder. More on that later (maybe).