room to breathe

Today is day #1 of my house sitting adventure. Not that it's going to be that adventurous - quite the opposite really. I've got my parents' house to myself for the next two weeks and I'm really looking forward to it. Today has already been glorious. I took them to the airport this morning, ran some errands on my way home, then got back here mid afternoon. I've spent most of that time fighting off a headache, but now it's gone, there's food in my belly, and I have space to do whatever I want whenever I want. And best of all it's clean. So very very clean.

It's been an interesting week. A long week. The beginning of it brought a continuation of my streak of days in a row crying. I'm not sure what I got up to, maybe 5 or 6. Things finally started to turn around on Tuesday and have gotten better from there. Therapy always helps. It seems that nearly every time I go I need to hear "you're doing okay, give yourself a break." I still need someone to tell me that in order for me to cut myself some slack. I've improved in that area, but I still have a ways to go.

Open windows are interesting things. It's cooled off again this week, so it's been nice to keep some windows open and not be blazing hot and get a nice breeze coming through. But open windows means sound from outside gets to come in. And when my roommate's windows are open and my windows are open I can hear her if she's loud in her room. This means I can hear her and her friends when they are talking loudly and laughing. It also means I can hear her when she is bawling her eyes out. This happened earlier this week. I'd just gotten into a rhythm doing some work things. It'd been a very unproductive day. I could hear her. I didn't know what to do. I felt like a complete ass. I kept working and finished what I was doing. Then I told myself to stop being an idiot and go knock on her door. I am glad I did. I know she was glad I did. Sometimes it's just hard to know what to do. Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing. I was able to do the right thing, it just took me a while.