breaking the baby barrier

I am experiencing a transformation. About a month ago I broke the "can I hold him?" barrier with my friend's six month old son. It's having a steam roller effect. I can't get enough of this little guy. It's so fun when a kid knows who you are and they smile and laugh at you and you know they're comfortable. It's so affirming. Today I was at their house with a group of people, and I sat down to watch him with his dad and a little while later he got up to do something. I realized after a few minutes that he hadn't come back - that he didn't need to come back - because I was watching him. So I got to have this prolonged hang out with my little buddy. I got to talk to him and tickle him and make him laugh. He reached out for my hands to pull himself up. I got to encourage him by telling him how impressive his standing ability is. It was my thumb he stuck in his mouth. When the rest of the group came over and he got overwhelmed my presence was a calming and familiar one for him.

It was just really beautiful. And it was new for me to feel so free in that instead of fearful or insecure. I have never been a baby person. But honestly, it hasn't necessarily been for lack of desire, it's been lack of experience and the fear that comes with it. But that's turning around and I'm loving it.