chosen

This is something I haven't really processed yet, but I thought I would get it down anyway. Lately (as in the past couple weeks) I've been in one of those "It's so weird that I'm married" modes. It's not that I'm anxious or freaking out during those times, nor am I extra sentimental or happy. I just have these times where I look back on the last few months and go, "Wow, we really did that? That's weird!" I'd have to say that our marriage ceremony was one of the weirdest things I've ever experienced. Not because it was unusual. It wasn't really unusual at all. In fact, I do believe it was quite beautiful. It was so weird because we walked into that church as single people, we stood up front, sung a song, said some very important words and exchanged rings, and BAMMO! We walk out and we're married. Isn't that totally odd?

That's not really what this post is about. The thing that goes along with that which I'm trying to process is the fact that we chose one another. I am here with this other flawed human being, and I am quite flawed myself, but nonetheless he took the plunge anyway. He wanted (and wants still, praise God!) to spend his life with me. He thinks I'm beautiful, and funny. And I'm sure sometimes he thinks I'm very annoying and confusing. But he chooses anyway! It's amazing really!

So I got to thinking, I think this is supposed to teach me a lesson about God or something. I think the concept of being chosen by God has never really struck a chord with me. I think that can be attributed in part to my "I need to earn it" mentality (read: legalism), but I think it's also because I've never really seen it in action. Okay, you could say my relationship with God is seeing it in action, but when you're a lifelong Christian sometimes it's hard to see the difference. I now have this in-my-face, real life example of that and I'm thinking it's something I should pay attention to.

That's as far as I've gotten. It's a lesson I realize I should learn and grasp hold of, but I'm not actually there yet. And I know it's not something I have to try to do. I just have to be aware and I think somewhere along the way I will see and learn. I hope so anyway, it seems like a pretty cool thing to get.

And weird.