Here I sit in North Ryde, NSW at a sandwich shop that has free wireless internet access. How about that, something that's actually free in this country. Who knew. Things are going okay. I think I bottomed out about 45 minutes ago, but things are looking up again. I think I'm just a bit on information overload. We had our last day of orientation today and we got all our timetable information and all that. Basically they've just been telling us a ton of stuff we need to do and after a while it just gets a bit overwhelming. Like, I fully should have gone to the head of English today to ask him a question and I still could I guess, except I don't have his name with me and honestly I just don't think I have the strength left to get anything else done. I got my ID card, my health care card, made sure my address was right in the uni system, started on getting my ISIC...and I think that's enough for one day.

I feel like I've been doing nothing and everything all at the same time. Orientation can be so slow and it's something to do, but ultimately not much. Everyone just feels like they're hanging in the balance right now. I'm craving routine. Got that everyone, I actually want school to start. I can't wait for school to start. I can't wait to have a schedule and go to class and have lunch breaks and go to student life and just try to settle in. Nothing is settling right now. Everything is up in the air. And the uni doesn't help with this. Yesterday they took us out to Luna Park, which is a lame sorta amusement park right on the Harbour. Lame but still fun. So they give us all (hundreds of us) a ride out, but don't tell us how to get back! And tomorrow they're doing the same thing at a footy game, though I asked this time so at least I know in advance that I'll have to improv my way home! Don't they think we have enough stress in our lives right now. Honestly, we're transitioning to another country and culture. I know things will be difficult and we need to have adventures and find our way on our own...but just give us a damn bus back.

Enough of the vent. Things really are okay. Roommates are fine, I have a group of people right now that I can chill with. They all live in my complex and they're American. I do and don't like that. It's good that we can all support each other and understand what everyone is feeling and what we're used to. But I don't want to hang out with just Americans. I can do that at home. But I keep reminding myself that this is just now, and as school starts and I get involved in stuff at Uni I'll be meeting more Australians. And really, I already know more Australians than the rest of the group I'm hanging out with combined. So what if I already knew them before I came?

There's so much more floating around my mind but I just can't process everything right now. And I think a lot of it is along the lines of vent paragraph and I just don't want to go there. During orientation yesterday they talked about culture shock and it's various stages. First was a high, which they labeled enchantment. Next was an extreme low, which they labeled disenchantment. Despite the past hour, I'm probably still in the enchantment stage. The other stage probably won't hit until I hit mid semester and have all this school work coming up and all I want to do is cry. Or maybe not. Let's try to be optimistic here. But really, I know the crash is coming. And I know an entire series of highs and lows are still to come, but that's just going to be life here. I'll love it anyway though, and I wouldn't trade this chance for anything. So this is me, picking myself up by my bootstraps (so to speak) and saying "keep on keeping on." God's gonna get me there. I'd appreciate your prayers. And I know I have so many of them already because I can tell the difference. Thank you. Until then...

Just a quick one to say I'm here and moved in and all that. Orientation starts tomorrow with a BBQ and tours of the campus and those sorts of things. I've yet to meet my roommates, as both times I've been by (and now, to stay) they haven't been here. So odds are they're out for the night in the city or something and I might not even see them until tomorrow. Pretty weird to wake up with a stranger in your house eh? That's all for me, my battery's running low and it's time for me to get off my duff and make some dinner.

My last full day in the United States. I'm 95% packed and I'm feeling pretty good. I felt a bit queasy this morning but that eventually wore off and now I'm just relaxing with the fam. My Grandma's over here too and she's having dinner with us tonight. We're having tacos because I'm going to have serious Mexican food withdrawals over the next couple of months.

I had a pretty good weekend, and it went really fast. Golf and company picnic with my Dad on Saturday, followed by a movie night at one of my friend's house. So I Married An Axe Murderer is the funniest movie. "Heed! Pants! Now!" So many quotable lines. Sunday was my last day at church and pretty cool. I got to talk with a girl I grew up going to youth group with for a while which was great. We don't see each other often at all but it seems whenever we do see each other we're always able to honestly express where we're at. I really like that. That night we saw The Lion King at the Orpheum in San Francisco. It was absolutely incredible. One of the most amazing things I've ever seen. It was enough to bring me to tears during the opening number. It was just incredibly beautiful, and I can't wait to see more performances in Sydney. The Barber of Seville is going to be amazing.

So that's all really. That's all...yeah right. Tomorrow this blog becomes very literally "leaving it behind." I would appreciate prayers as I'm embarking on almost 24 hours of travel tomorrow morning. I'm feeling fairly confident with a pinch (or more) of dread as well. I'm just going to have to buck up and stick it out. So I guess next time you hear from me I'll be on the south end of this planet. Latah mates.

Okay so I'm really antsy and worked up right now because everyone I know is either asleep or not home and I just want to call someone up and say, "What in the heck is up with my day?" but I can't. And that makes me angry and feel unresolved and now I can't go to sleep. But seriously, what is up today? It's just been such a weird day. Lots of bad things. Not horrible, just weird bad things that have left a foul taste in my mouth. Let us start at the beginning.

Today I went to work to pick up my paycheck. There was supposed to be a BBQ. I show up; no one's at the BBQ. Turns out they moved the BBQ to yesterday. No problem. On to probably the worst news of the day: finding out my grandma rode on a Greyhound 24 hours all the way to Idaho to miss her class reunion by a day because she either got told or had the wrong date. It was already bad enough that she had booked this horrible bus ride without telling us...but the fact she missed the main meeting. Talk about a pit in your stomach feeling. Next weird happening: on my way out to camp tonight there was an accident 30 seconds from my house. They just put in a new stop sign at an intersection and obviously someone ran right through it. Yeah, glad we've made that intersection safer. Last weird happening...on my way home from camp I encounter yet another accident. Fireman tells us after a while that they're moving traffic and it will be about five more minutes. Cool. Ten minutes later. Nothing. Another few minutes, the other side of traffic gets to go. Do we get to go? No. I have no idea why. So about half an hour after I'd first gotten there I finally get to go, and they way they have us go isn't even blocked by anything and I'm thinking, "so why didn't we just go up this road half an hour ago?" I'm not sure. But the accidents just kinda freaked me out. Seriously I think I've encountered one accident like that in my life EVER. Then today on both sides of the same trip I encounter two? What's going on here. What is up with today? I am so glad that it's now tomorrow.

Wow folks a week from tomorrow guess where I'll be headed? Things are coming up fast and I can hardly believe it. I half practiced packed today. I got all the way through my clothes and shoes and decided I had enough room that I should be fine when it comes time to really pack. I fit all my clothes and shoes in my amazing duffel bag ($24.95) so with another bag of my choice to bring I think things will work out nicely. And I figure I'm already not going to be able to carry everything anyway, so it doesn't matter how big my luggage is anymore. It's one of those carts for me all the way.

I have a story from yesterday. It's a cool God story. I told it to the campers last night and they really thought it was cool, and on my way home I realized I had left out a minor but cool detail, so I want to tell the story again! Plus it's just a good one. Each night for the past two weeks I've been driving out to this camp to lead worship. I live about 15 minutes away, and basically where I start driving is where the road gets curvey and somewhat dangerous. So I'm driving out there at about 9pm each night, so it's dark and not the best conditions for driving on a windy road. Sometimes as I leave I say a quick prayer for God's protection as I drive. Last night I happened to do so, and I was on my way. Not too far into my drive I got behind a car who was going a bit slower than I would. Probably only 3-5 mph, so it was enough to slow me down but not so much to drive me crazy. I remember thinking, "well this is good, this car will pace me and give me better visibility etc." After five to ten more minutes of driving we were on a somewhat straight stretch of road, and all of a sudden a fawn starts crossing the road. The car in front of me hit their brakes, and I hit mine. We didn't have to hit them hard and the fawn made it across the road and we were safe as well. Then I thought, "well what if I'd been going a few miles per hour faster...would I have hit that fawn? Would I have been able to stop? Would I have missed it completely?" I don't know, but I took it as God's answer to prayer last night. Here's the part I forgot to tell the campers. The car turned on literally the very next street after this incident. So the car was in front of me to pace me up until the deer, then it turned right after the whole thing. Yeah. God story. That's what I'm talking about.

I'm in a weird mood. AL is kicking butt in the All-star game. HOORAY! Leah if you read this please call me. Late.

God is good. He answers prayer, even the little ones. Just wanted to say that. This weekend we're moving my sister back home. My Mom and I are leaving in about 15 minutes and we're going to help her clean the house today, then tomorrow my Dad comes with the truck and we're bring it all home. Tonight I get to see two of my closest friends from school and I'm very excited. It's been a secret from one of them, and I've had the hardest time not getting all excited about it when I've talked to her on the phone. I can't wait to see them tonight. Pray I don't get lost. I'm out until tomorrow night.

Well, unfortunately I haven't grown since my last post, but I'll let you know if anything changes. In other news, I've had a nice, long weekend. We spent most of Saturday emptying out and painting my sister's bedroom, and we spent the evening of the fourth putting it back. We drove out to see my cousin's new house about 45 minutes away and had a nice afternoon there with some family. It went much better than I expected. Generally this is a part of the family we don't see too much (for a reason) but Sunday was really great and it was good to have some time with them. Yesterday was spent doing practically nothing. I was supposed to be in Monterey visiting a few friends, but things kinda fell through. Okay, actually I cancelled. Long story. So I declared yesterday paperwork day and spent some time getting ID documents together and scanning and making copies and those sorts of things. So now I have most if not all of my documents ready to go.

I had this realization about Australia last night. I've been so busy thinking of all the changes and about moving and packing and all those things that I'd sort of forgotten about school. Well, I didn't forget about it, but last night I realized that my summer is almost over. I'm going back to school in a few weeks, and summer doesn't come again for a long time. That hadn't really crossed my mind before. Granted, this is probably going to be so different and challenging and at the same time not challenging (in terms of hours in class) that it's not really going to feel like school. Then again, I will be writing papers. With weird spelling. That's going to be odd. Organized. That's incorrect spelling, isn't that weird?

Today I was running some errands with my mom and we had to go to this luggage store because this piece came off of one of our bags so she wanted to get it fixed. So as we're walking out of the store we see this huge duffel bag that they have sitting right by the door. It caught both our eyes and it had a sale tag on it, so we decided to take a look. We flipped it over and low and behold $24.95! I was seriously expecting something more around three digits. We checked it out, kept looking at each other in amazement, and eventually figured there was nothing to lose. So now I have this great, humongous duffel bag which I'm really excited about. Maybe that's lame but I've sorta been stressing about packing. This is going to make things a lot easier. Now I'm just going to be careful to spread out the weight so it doesn't get too heavy. I think that's all for now.

Whoa exciting news everyone! I am 5' 6 1/2"! I've actually grown since high school! I always said I was 5' 6" and figured I was probably stretching it, but I've grown almost 3/4" since junior year of high school! This is very exciting to me.

I'm not doing so great on the frequent updates. I haven't really done so for months now though so I guess it's nothing too abnormal. Where to start. Well I must say I had a great weekend. My roommate from school came up for a long weekend. We went to the coast, to the city (SF), to the woods, and I got to show her around the city where I live (that didn't take long). Overall we had a really fun time. Since we've lived together it's just so non-pressure to be around her. It was funny, because the whole time she was here it never really felt weird to have her here. When I woke up in the morning it was like...she's here. Of course she's here. That's not so weird...even though it really is. Today was our first full day on our perspective ends of the state which is quite sad. Five months until I see her again.

This week marked the start of my worship leading endeavors at a camp about 15 minutes from my house. A friend of mine is coordinating the camp and she asked me a couple months ago if I could lead worship for this intensive, 3 week leadership camp they started this year. Today was day three, and I'm totally having a blast with them. It's a small group which gives me the opportunity to get to know each person. I already have all their names down. Really it's just the ideal size for my personality. Tonight I went out there earlier than usual because they had planned to be on the ropes course that night. Well, after I was finished up my friend invited me to go along with them on the ropes course, so I did! I mean really, how often do you get a random invite to go down a zip line? So, about an hour ago I was hurtling through the air. Good times. That's all I've really got to say I think. Three weeks and one day to Oz.

I know I know. So I write a post about how excited I am about this gig then I don't even say how it went. And I'm a slacker and didn't post any pictures, but I did forewarn that might be the case so you can't blame me there. Anyway, the gig went quite well. There was a good crowd whenever we started playing, and a good group of people from my church came to show their support which meant a lot. Aside from that, there was nothing really meaningful or amazing about the gig. We came, we saw, we conquered...or something like that. It was all pretty non-emotive for me actually. I'm not sure why that was, but when I finally got there it wasn't a big deal. I wasn't really nervous, I wasn't really excited, I just went out there and did it. No adrenaline, no nothing. I'm still trying to figure out why that might be. Maybe it was playing with people I didn't know, or maybe it was the venue. Maybe it was the fact that there was a lot of pressure with this gig and I was just glad to have it over. Or maybe it was the pain of knowing that $100 was departing from my savings account to pay for the band. Whatever it was, it was a good experience, I think it helped out our church, and now it's over.

This week I've been working at the music store doing stuff on computers. Some people have been gone from the office so it's just been a few of us in there. The camaraderie has been more fun this past week than I ever remember, but besides that things have been very boring. The work they have me doing is just very monotonous, and while I'm very grateful for a paycheck I often come home feeling like a zombie. I'm hoping they have something different for me once I finish this project on Monday.

Yesterday was a monumental day. I talked to all three of my roommates on the phone in the same day. It was so great. This week I've really started to miss people from school for the first time. I was wondering when it would set in, and finally after six weeks it has. One of my roommates just got back from 3 weeks overseas a couple days ago, so it was the first time I have talked to her in a long time. It was great to hear her voice. It made me realize how much I miss her. But hopefully I will be seeing her and another friend in early July. Also, one of my other roommates is coming out here on Thursday. Talking to her last night also reminded me how much fun we have together and how much we laugh when we're together. We're going to have a great time. I can't wait to show her this crazy place.

Lately I've been waking up early in the morning, then drifting back to sleep again. But since I have already woken up once, I tend to sleep lightly during the last couple hours and I remember a lot of my dreams as a result. Score another dream for Australia. I have 2 Australia dreams a week easy. Here's what was going on. It was the first day of classes, and I was trying to find what building my class was in. I went into one building (oddly enough the entire building was one classroom) and discovered that I was in the wrong place. So I got up and walked out, and I think eventually found someone and asked them where I needed to go. They then pulled out a map and showed me another completely different part of campus which looked like it was at least a mile away. So I went walking down this path toward the other part of campus, and the path took me by a beach and some other things. Then somehow I randomly ran across my seventh grade history teacher, so we stopped for quite a while and talked. Then I realized I was missing my classes, and as I looked at my schedule I realized I had another class I'd forgotten about and I was missing that one too. Then finally I think I decided to stuff it. I don't really remember what happened next, but somehow I think I ended up at Leah's or somewhere with Leah. I realized at this point that I didn't know what day it was, and it might have been Friday and I don't even have class on Friday! So I'm wondering what day it is, then Leah tells me that today is Christmas, but not many people in Australia celebrate it so it's kinda hard to tell! So then I'm trying to figure out what day it, because in my dream it's only two days after I've arrived in Australia, which means it should be the 24th. Which still doesn't make any sense, because I'm flying to Australia in July, not December, but somehow in my dream it was December. And apparently it was Christmas, but Christmas isn't a huge holiday in Australia and for some reason the uni decided to add a whole extension to campus like five miles away. Right. These are how irrational my dreams are. I don't really dream about normal things or normal problems. Instead I have these obstacles in my dreams that don't really exist. Like for whatever reason in my dream I could never really be sure of where I was going or where the campus was...like I couldn't look at the map or something. But at least these dreams provide some entertainment as I reflect on them later. Or maybe I'm just sick in the head.

Before I get ready for work I have to say this. The band I'm playing with tonight is AMAZING. We had a rehearsal last night and they sounded so good. I was totally in awe. I'm so stoked for tonight. And to top it off the Lakers lost.

Well, I'm almost through my second full day back on the mainland. Unfortunately, the last two nights of sleep have been a bit restless, but I'm hoping that tonight I'll finally be tired enough to get myself on track. No need for three nights in a row of falling asleep at 2am.

The trip was nice and relaxing. We did a bit of swimming, went out on a catamaran one afternoon, went to the Polynesian Cultural center on the north shore, beat my dad for the first time at golf (95 baby), and spent some time at Waikiki. Overall very relaxing and luckily not too hot. I didn't start breaking out until about our fifth day there, which is a ton better than it's been in past years.

There might be a picture or two to come, depending on whether or not I feel motivated enough to upload then transfer them onto my parent's computer. There might be stories to. Then again, maybe not. All depends on my schedule and more so on my motivation this week.

This week I'm going to be working, which is a huge blessing. I also have a huge gig coming up on Wednesday which I'm really excited about. And I just completely lost my line of thought, so that's all for now.

Hello photoblogging. And hello free storage of the photos. A-ma-zing. Be prepared for more photos in the upcoming months. Actually I might start a different blog that's just photos, I'm not sure yet. Anyway, that little guy down there is my adorable second cousin, who just started crawling this week. He's the cutest, and I'm going to miss him so much while I'm gone.

So the whole week has been a bit uneventful. I spent some time with a few friends which was fun, went to the beach, bought a few things for vacation, read some C.S. Lewis, braved the DMV to get a new license, and rehearsed for my gig coming up later this month. Sounds like a lot but it really wasn't. But finally today is the day, and my Grandma and I are leaving tonight for the city, and early tomorrow we fly to Honolulu. Aloha and mahalo. Those are the only Hawaiian words I know. Well, beside that fish Humuhumunukunukuapua'a. And my friend's middle name is Hokulani. That means something about a star I think. I'm definitely fluent.

I'm most of the way through The Weight of Glory which actually turned out to be a collection of sermons by C.S. Lewis, the most famous being the weight of glory. Beside that one, I really liked his Transposition. It's a great discussion about the relationship between heavenly things and how they relate and filter through our emotions and senses. Sort of hard to explain, but he uses the gift of tongues as an example, then expands to a more all-encompassing level. It's very good, and really philosophical which I love. Seriously, find a way to get ahold of this essay, especially if you're one of my tongue speaking friends (which I think are like the only two people that read this). Lots of good things to think about. There's also a very philosophical one called Why I am not a Pacifist. He uses Scripture but also method and authority to determine what his stance is.

So I guess that's all for now. Maybe I should start packing. I hate packing. It's definitely in my top five list of things I hate to do. I think going to the doctor is above it though.

The cutest baby in the world. 

Well it's a week later, and time for an update. I was a member of the workforce. Notice the past tense. Hopefully sometime soon that will become present tense again, but for now there's not work for me at the store. So hang around the house I will, and lots of reading I shall do. I've read two books in the last week, and I loved them both. I finished up Blue Like Jazz this past weekend, then picked up Wild at Heart a few nights ago and finished it yesterday. Two amazing books. They gave me a lot to think about.

I love to read. And I love to think. And I love to think about what I read. That's what I do. I read, then I think. I love that I have free time for that. I'm just loving a lot of things right now aren't I?

This past weekend I was in southtown for my cousin's wedding. It was a crazy weekend, but I had a blast. Friday was my sister's graduation, so we were all over the place for that, then we had to fly out for San Diego the next morning. I had so much fun with my family. My parents and sister finally got to see my cute as heck baby cousin. Hands down the cutest baby in the world. And that's not even the relative in me talking. He really is the cutest. Poor thing is 10+ months old and can't crawl. He's so close though, and he'll probably start walking not too long after. He's so cute though he doesn't really need to crawl. He can just sit there and look cute, and it definitely makes his mom's job easier.

So that's me. Reading and thinking and trying to get some sleep after this past weekend. It's not really working. I haven't fallen asleep before one for a couple nights now. Maybe tonight will be the night. Now it's off with the fam to see Shrek 2.

I'm a member of the workforce again! Okay maybe not permanently, but in the past two days I've spent eight hours working ("working") which makes for a very happy Krystle. I'm probably going to do about six or seven hours tomorrow too which I'm stoked about. Last night at the store we had a gig/presentation by Greg Bennett. He's done a ton of guitar design and right now he's teamed up with Samick designing guitars for them. I own one actually. They're great sounding guitars for an extremely low price. I'm not quite sure how he does it. So basically last night he would play a few songs (he's a great player) then take some time to talk about different aspects of guitar construction and design. It was ideal for me, being someone who knows enough about guitar design not to get lost, but not much beyond that. He talked about acoustics and also finger picked a ton of stuff. He wasn't the type of player that just blows your mind, but he was super down to earth and inspiring. He played this ridiculous version of Stars and Stripes forever. It even had the crazy piccolo part!

Unfortunately to set up for the event we had to move a ton of bass gear off this stage area in the store and take it across to backstock. Fortunately it's not too far, but moving all that stuff was a huge pain. Literally. Luckily this morning I didn't end up moving any of it back, but I did end up unloading some other gear and I'm definitely feeling it now. I don't ever want to be a bass player. Those amps and cabinets weigh a ton. It's ridiculous. Seriously, these dinky six inch tall heads will weigh more than a medium sized amp. What's up with that?

They're having a huge Marshall event tomorrow which should be really cool. They're going to do it outside and give away some free gear and probably do a lot of demoing. The event will actually be after hours I think and they're going to do a BBQ. Things like this are why I love working in a small town music store. They really make an effort to get the community involved and do a lot of cool and interesting things. Hopefully tomorrow won't involve so much heavy lifting. Luckily I remember a lot of those Marshall stacks having wheels. Here's hoping.

Have I really grown up here? Did I really think this is normal? I've been to a Whole Foods/organic store twice since I've been home. I actually really like Whole Foods but it's too expensive so I'd never regularly shop there. Anyway. I realize Whole Foods is a chain, but still. How many people can I see with dreads walking around Whole Foods? And how many political bumper stickers can I see in one 20 minute drive (because it is a 20-30 minute drive EVERYWHERE). And get this, I started doing yoga last week (no not because I want to worship Satan, I want to be more flexible…make that less inflexible) and seriously EVERYWHERE I go I keep seeing these yoga kit things that have a mat and a tape and this band/rope thing that you can use. I saw it at the bookstore, at two different Target's and I saw it today at the grocery store! This is not normal! And my favorite...the ladies in black. They stand on the corner downtown (yeah, downtown really only has 1 corner) and protest violence every Friday. They wear black. I think this week I saw something about not liking Bush too. But that's practically nor cal's motto.

It's not really weirding me out. Don't get me wrong. I'm not in freak out mode, because this is still home and still somewhat normal to me. You can't undo 16+ years of living here. But I guess the longer I'm away the more I realize how this place really is. You know what else I'm really noticing more than ever - the warfare up here. I know I've also made joking comments about witches and wicca and all kinds of crap going on up here, and I've been aware of that for a long time. But beyond all the really reeeeally out there stuff I'm really aware for the first time about what a spiritually thirsty this place is. Now some people are straight up atheists, but there are tons and tons of people looking for a spiritual experience. Just look at all the yoga mats for sale. Geez. But I've also started to view that in a new way as I consider my own faith. And sadly enough I've found myself thinking about the principles of postmodernism that we talked about in my Luke/Acts class...which I HATED. HATED HATED HATED. I cannot tell you enough. And what's funnier is that I wasn't even there the day we talked about postmodernism! But my roommate and I had a really good acronym for the test to remember that one so I still remember it.

The four principles were mystery, experience, significance, and relationship. So our prof (when I wasn't there) talked about postmodernists longing for each of these things, and made the point that Christianity also has these things to offer. While I was somewhat upset at his seemingly flippant summary of postmodernism, the guy really had a point and I see it now. I'm seeing it firsthand now. Mystery. Christianity is SO full of mystery. So much paradox, so many questions, so much stuff I can't and never will understand. Why did God even bother with all of us? I have no clue. What is God really? I'll never know his fullness. Experience. Man oh maaaaaaaaaaaaan. The fundamentalist in me totally wants to crush this one. "God is not an experience. You can't base you faith on experience. You must be obedient, live a Holy life." Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Yes I know obedience and holy living are crucial. Faith without works is dead. But a person living without grace will soon be dead also I think. Or at least lying on the floor in a heap wondering how in the heck they're going to do all the "work for God" they're supposed to do. Slight tangent, sorry. Enough on that one. Significance. Everyone's longing for it. People want to make an impact, whether it's a good one or a bad one. People are attention hungry. People want to do something that's lasting, something that's outside of themselves. People search for it in all sorts of things - people, work, drugs, sex, business, volunteering, some kind of cause (i.e. impeach bush bumper stickers)...all sorts of things. Relationship. Ok that's pretty self-explanatory I think; I won't go into that one.

Christianity offers all these things. Do you realize that? Maybe you're way ahead of me and you already knew that and you're thinking, "Krystle, why are you assuming I'm dumb. And I don't live in hippie nor cal. Why didn't you stop five paragraphs ago?" But I don't think you're thinking that. At least I hope not. So I'm thinking, if I'm in this area of spiritually hungry, politically interested, organic food eating, Bush protesting society, I'd better learn to be down to earth. I'd better learn that it's not apologetics that's going to convert people. It's talking about God as a REAL, ACTING being, and talking about Jesus as a REAL, LIVING person that has made and makes a DAILY impact in my life. I'd better start talking about him like a person I know, someone who cares for me, someone who I care really deeply about. And I'd better stop being concerned about whether I sound like an idiot or not, because that keeps me from being honest. And a lot of times an honest, "I don't know" sounds way better than some polished apologetic theological BS.

So that's me, a week and two days after being home. I think good old nor cal has something for me the next two months, and I've got something for it too. By the way, a lot of this sudden burst of thinking is also inspired by a book I got Saturday called Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller. Definitely the most unusual book I've ever read, but it's phenomenal. I started it Saturday and finally put it down 50 pages later. This guy has such an unpolished writing style, yet he says everything he wants to say in an unapologetic, honest, and extremely profound way. It's also hilarious. I finally stopped on page 87, now I’m two chapters beyond that. I predict I'll finish it in a few days. It's that good. Check out this guy's writing style.

“At the time I was attending this large church in the suburbs. It was like going to church at the Gap. I don't know why I went there. I didn't fit. I had a few friends, though, very nice people, and when I told them I wanted to audit classes at Reed they looked at me as if I wanted to date Satan. One friend sat me down and told me all about the place, how they have a three-day festival at the end of the year in which they run around naked. She said some of the students probably use drugs. She told me God did not want me to attend Reed College.”

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“The first day of school was exhilarating. It was better than high school. Reed had ashtrays, and everybody said cusswords.”

How funny is that? And his chapters have subtitles like "Sexy Carrot" and "Penguin Sex." Ok I'm really trying to play the curiosity card at this point. Honestly though, this book is amazing. You should read it.

Unlike Mel I'm really having a hard time getting used to blogger's new format. Really though it's all because I don't like change and it's difficult for me to get used to new things. Eventually I'll be alright. Of course, with how often I tend to update it could be quite some time before I'm used to this. Moving on...

This has been a very non-eventful week, which I mostly like. I'm starting to hit the point of boredom though. I seriously don't know what I did over summer when I didn't work. Why wasn't I bored? Why wasn't I driving my mother crazy? Maybe I was. I called my work earlier this week and they said to call back later in the week, which I did today, but I couldn't get ahold of my boss so I left a message. I haven't heard back from him. Let me woooooooooooork I'm so boooooored. I'd be perfectly happy to water the plants right now. Actually I came to a place last year where I really liked watering in the morning. It can be quite nice outside and my arms got a nice tan out of it.

My recent discovery has been yoga. I'd been turning the idea over in my mind for the last week or two of school. Here's the deal - I am the least flexible person on the face of the earth. Really, I am. So it's been really good to have something that focuses on relaxation, posture, breathing, and strengthening which are all things I need. My back is so messed up and I know it's because of my bad posture and weak stomach muscles. So hopefully this will help me out. I have a really good video with hosts that are nice but not super whacked. I'm excited about it.

I have all my paperwork done for Australia, which is a really weird feeling. I got my visa early this week and I put in a housing application too. Figuring out where exactly I'm going to live is my present challenge, then there's going to be a slight lull until the packing nightmare begins. Last night I had a sort of two-in-one dream/nightmare about LAX. I remember having a dream or two last year before I went, but it certainly wasn't two months before I was going to go. It my dream I had somehow ended up driving to LAX, but had come in a different entrance (I think there's only one entrance) and could not find my terminal. Then somehow I think I was in a terminal that was underwater or something. But I think I could breathe. Then I met up with my parents finally too. It was definitely a weird one. Speaking of flying, I haven't received my tickets in the mail yet which isn't freaking me out but I'm starting to get concerned. I think if I don't get them by Monday the travel agency is going to get a little call. They gave me no time frame on how long it would take so I have no idea if this is normal or if they should have been here by now.

To change subjects completely, I've been doing a bit of deep thinking this week but not so much right at this moment. One thought though. I've been thinking lately about the nature of Christianity and I've been asking, "Wow, is this what it really is?" Sometimes I find it a bit weird. Like the whole God chose a nation, and the whole animal sacrifice thing and the deal with blood and purity laws and all that. Then we have Jesus coming on the scene and dying this unbelievably brutal death that was completely necessary for our atonement and it's just like...whoa. Sometimes it just seems so...I'm not sure. Out there maybe? I guess our culture is so far removed from that it's hard to wrap my head around sometimes. When I was driving home from school my Mom choose a lot of the music, which meant we listened to a lot of old but good music I haven't brought out in a while. Midway through the drive she popped in Jars of Clay's first CD, and a line off the first song really hit me (sorry can't remember the title). You know that line that goes, "Flesh and blood/Is it so elemental?" Well it really hit me for the first time. I'd never really paid attention to that line before but that subject has really been interesting to me lately. It is elemental, and sometimes it's just weird in my head but other times it makes such perfect sense and blossoms into this crazy beautiful intense story. I guess that's part of the mystery. Thoughts are welcome.

How's this for a great homecoming. I have explained to many people at school that I live in a really unusual area and that sometimes this communish place down the street has these weird gatherings and we can hearing drumming emanating from the gathering. Well yesterday after seven hours on the road we're finally approaching my house, and what do I see? Yes that's right, tons of cars lining the streets and people in hippie garb heading toward the commune houses. My mom rolled down the window and said she didn't hear any drumming, but she did hear music. What a welcome back to hippie land.

So yes I'm at home and mostly it's just weird, but the prospect of not having homework and just relaxing is very nice. I enjoyed getting over 6 hours of sleep last night and I'm looking forward to the fact that tomorrow will be the same way. So now it's just hanging out, finishing unpacking (I did most of it yesterday, can you believe that?) and hanging out with some fam tonight. We're going to French food. Yuuuuuuuuuuuuum. Happy Mother's Day!

Last night in the mod. Everyone say bye. Friends was a little too close for comfort tonight. Our place looks like Monica and Chandler's empty apartment...except not nearly as nice and a way crappy oven. I hope I get to go to sleep soon. All I want is my bed.

It's over. Let everyone say "amen." I've started packing up some stuff but I can't really do much because I don't have anything to pack it in. So I guess my parents and I will just take the brunt of it tomorrow afternoon when they get here. I'm okay with that; I'd rather not have it be a long, drawn-out process.

The tests yesterday went pretty well for my taste, and my two today were easy as heck. You gotta love how I prepared for my conducting final for less than half an hour (didn't even practice the song all the way through) and probably got an A. I'm so glad that class is over. I really like conducting but I was so sooo over that class months ago. Probably had something to do with the fact that we had a million assignments that took hours and hours, and the fact that the class is from 1-2:30 which should really be naptime.

So right now I'm sitting here waiting for my friend to call me and tell me she's back so we can hang out. All my roommates are out doing errand type things, and I'm presently done with my packing. I'm definitely in denial still, otherwise I think I'd be freaking out and getting sentimental over anything and everything. I can't wait to watch the finale of friends tonight and have no homework or finals to worry about. Just hanging out with my roommates watching great TV completely stress free. There's nothing better.

I played my guitar yesterday for the first time in ages. I think since I've been back from Easter break I haven't really had the time to even think about playing it. In fact, it had been so long that after about 10 minutes my fingers had already begun to hurt. Yikes. It was a lot of fun though. I was playing for a friend/acquaintance who didn't know I played guitar but saw my Taylor in the corner and wanted to see it. It was cool to talk with her a bit about guitars and other things, but it was also a bummer to find out what we had in common three days before I'm leaving. That sort of stuff is supposed to happen at the beginning of the year so you can hang out and become friends. Darn.

Well, now I'm sitting here with five more minutes having passed still in the same situation I was in five minutes ago. I pulled something in my back/shoulder yesterday trying to throw a basketball over a fence to someone. I was in immense pain. I think it's the combination of writing essays in my really small messy handwriting, slouching at my computer, slouching studying, slouching anytime, and throwing the basketball that did it. I feel like an old woman. Oh wait I am an old woman. And with that I'm out, gotta go put my dentures back in.

My roommates are packing a bunch of stuff from our living room. It's depressing. I actually haven't walked out there to see what it looks like now and I don't really want to.

At this moment I'm officially halfway through my finals in terms of numbers of tests, but I think the bulk of difficulty is greater on the second half. I have the test I'm most nervous about later this afternoon. I've done some good studying with my roommate for the last hour or more and I'm feeling a lot better about it. Still, I'll be glad (and probably angry) when it's over.

This weekend I stayed in Southtown for the last time. I'll be down there again in a few weeks for a wedding, but that's going to be a really quick trip. I can't believe I'm not going to see my cousins for such a long time. The boys are going to be so big when I get back. I'm sad that I'll miss so much. But I know my time overseas will be amazing. I have to keep reminding myself that the pluses and minuses will even out (and I believe do more than come out even). I only have two more nights here at school, one in a hotel, then it's the long drive home. I'm really happy to go. I'm just so over school and work and studying. Give me my own room, a five hour work day, lots of free time to play instruments, and a church where I actually know people and feel involved. Not to mention the air is clean, my family is nearby, and it's not ridiculously hot. Sweet hippieland I hear you calling.

Last night before I went to bed I posted something here but blogger totally ate it! Or maybe my internet ate it. That's probably the case since all my problems can be blamed on the internet here. I cannot wait to go home and have dependable internet, even if it is a little slower. One week. And maybe I'll post again after my test today. Yes, a test. Who gives a test on the last day of class before finals...then still gives a final! There should be rules against that.

Ok I am seriously kicking this paper's butt. I have seven pages and I think I'm pretty much done besides actually writing my thesis statment (so much easier to write after the whole paper is done) and my conclusion. I don't think I'm going to make 8 pages but that's ok, because I think it's a really decent paper. And I'm done. HA

Well, two weeks down, two weeks to go. Today I'm supposed to write an 8 page term paper. Shouldn't be too hard. I don't care too much about how it comes out so that makes things a bit easier. I think it's like 25% of my grade or something ridiculous like that. Oh well.

This is my second to last weekend here; that's quite weird to think about. It's been tough trying to be focused. They give us spring break a month before school gets out, then they expect us to come back and do decent work. Yeah right. By this point we all want to be at home doing nothing. But I'm just going to suck it up and plow through the next two weeks. And besides, this is my last two weeks to spend with the people here for quite a long time. Many of them I won't be seeing until January.

So that's it, I guess I'll stop procrastinating on my paper now.

So I thought maybe I should update, seeming how it's April 18th. I've been back at school for the past week and I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to get everything done that's due the last week. I have procrastination bad right now. Well mostly just the past few days. I'm hoping to move past it today and finally start on a term paper I've been putting of for, well, all term.

Two more normal weeks of school then finals then I'm out of here. It's hard to believe, I feel like I just moved in. Well, I don't feel like I just moved in, but it definitely doesn't seem like a whole school year has gone by. Last year felt twice this long. Last night (actually this morning) I had a dream that I was with Mel and Al and I think we were in the Sydney area. We went to go see Leah's softball game. I think that was the most unrealistic part of the whole thing - Leah playing compeptitive softball. There was this snafoo in the last inning and for whatever reason Leah didn't get to bat like she thought she would and she was really pissed off. It was kinda funny, but not until I woke up. Then somehow we were on my college campus and I don't remember what we did after that. I think I woke up. Wow and the really funny thing that I just realized is that Leah probably doesn't even know how to play baseball except maybe vaguely from watching it in the states.

And now I'm sitting here listening to awful music from the swap meet next door. I really hate Sunday's here for this reason. It's almost reason enough to make me go to church on Sunday morning rather than at night, but I just can't stay alert for the service in the morning. So I guess it's crappy music for me for the next five hours.

Just a little blog to say I'm at home and it's absolutely beautiful here. LA is so ugly it's ridiculous. I spent a couple minutes in the car on the way home wondering why I could see everything on the hillside, then I remembered that's normal. More later perhaps.

Another service announcement. I found out yesterday that I'm accepted to my program in Australia!!! YAY!!!!

Just a service announcement before I do some homework. If you don't have it already, you need to run to the store and buy sara groves' new cd "the other side of something." soooooooore good. i got it last week, but i'm finally at the point where i've listened to it enough that i'm listening to the words and the music as a whole and it's just amazing. i'm sure you thought sara groves couldn't get any more honest but she has. a-maz-ing. making me want to write.

It's been a crazy week, and it totally flew by which I'm so thankful for because it puts me another week closer to spring break! My trip to San Diego was ok...not as restful as I wish it could have been. I had a lot on my mind, so I didn't really sleep while I was there. On top of that, I woke up Sunday morning feeling absolutely horrible. I made the two hour drive home anyway because I had a mandatory concert I had to go to at 2. That lasted from 2 to 9. Yes friends, seven hours. It was totally miserable, and I didn't even sing half the time because I felt so bad.

Once that was over, I had a massive test to tackle on Monday. I think it went pretty well, we'll see on Monday when I get it back with a grade on it. But since Monday it's been pretty smooth sailing and things have gone fast. The highlight of the week was definitely last night. We took my roommate out for her birthday and had a really good time. The best part was seeing her so excited over her present. This will take a little explaining. My roommate and her family don't really have a lot of money right now, so for the past year+ my roommate has been taking tons of pictures but hasn't had the money to develop them. One roll isn't so bad, but when you have ten sitting around you can't just go get them all developed because it's going to be way expensive. So a few days ago we stole all her film out of her room and took it to Costco to get it developed. She was so happy she started to cry. It was great.

After dinner (Cheesecake factory, yum!) we went to see opening night of Jersey Girl. It was pretty cute. Basically we all agreed that there was one scene that we really didn't like, but the rest of it was good. It wasn't really what I expected, which was actually really nice. Not very much of it was about romance at all, it was more about the father-daughter relationship. So, if you don't feel like spending the money to go see it I'd say don't, but it could be a good one to rent if you're not going to mind one ridiculous scene where they talk about sex and hearing the word "shit" a bunch of times. The little girl is adorable and definitely the best part and Ben Affleck does a good job as well. Definitely had some tears going on during some father-daughter moments.

Time for the most obnoxious part of the week. These kids at the movie theater last night were seriously out of control. They would like run out of the theater. Run! Then there was another group of kids in the back that just talked the. whole. time. Finally about 2/3 of the way through someone finally went to the theator admin. and brought someone in to have them stop, but my gosh it was so bad. I seriously felt like I was trying to watch a movie at a party.

One final note, my friend Margo and I made a whipped cream pact that we're going to go to Europe after we graduate. It's official, we have the pictures to prove it.

Well it's Friday and I'm about to leave for San Diego for the weekend. I'm super stoked. I have some studying to do down there, but that's about it. I just want to relax and get away. So until Monday I'm pretty much out.

It's not Tuesday, it's Wednesday and currently I am ditching my philosophy class. I figure I've never ditched it before, I'm tired and I have a sinus headache. So I didn't go, and I'm fine with that. It's interesting though how I've only been back for half an hour and already I'm itching for something to do. Something in me keeps saying "Do homework, do some homework" and I have to keep telling myself it's alright to relax, the chaos is over and I just need a break. I'm not sure I remember what a break is. Maybe watching a movie will help.

My roommate had to wash a whole chicken today. It was really funny to watch. Whole chickens are gross. I'm glad it was her and not me.

I still haven't got through the first chapter of that book. Well I've read it, but I haven't let myself move on because I haven't done the whole study. I did memorize a suggested verse though, and it's been a stronghold over the last two days.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Matt. 11:28-30

That's all for now. I'm going to go try to relax.

So it's Sunday night and the weekend's almost over but for the first time in a long time I'm actually glad. I really just want to get this week over and done with. Not this whole week, moreso the next couple of days. There is going to be great rejoicing Tuesday afternoon, let me tell you. Friday I'm going to head down to San Diego to see some friends who are going to school down there and then go to my aunt and uncle's place. I cannot wait to just RELAX and not do school work. I will have to study a bit while I'm down there since I have a midterm that Monday, but that's going to be inconsequential in comparison to how much work I've been doing recently.

I got this great book at Family Christian the other day, along with tree 63's new cd and delirious king of fools. the book is called Having a Mary Heart in a Martha world. I'm stoked to read it. I read the first chapter last night, but didn't have time to do the study that goes with it (isn't that ironic) so i'm going to read it again when i can do the study. It's weird though, I want to read this book but at the same time it becomes another "thing to do" which just contributes to my whole Martha mentality. I'm hoping that admist the "doing" of the reading that i'll learn to slow down and focus on what's important - namely anything and everything but school. Ok, that was a slight exaggeration.

Lately i've been writing chord progressions with ease. It's freaking me out a bit. And I've been a bit inspired (though I don't know from what) to take a stab at writing some words. So perhaps once school has calmed down (later this week) there could be some songs. Who knows. I've felt really encouraged in my music by other people lately. I think that's really helped. That's all for now. The next entry will probably be great rejoicing on tuesday.

Please keep this girl in your prayers. Though I don't know her, I've been reading her journal for over a year now and we've exchanged a couple guestbook entries. Her father passed away suddenly last night. I can't even imagine.

I think I'm approaching the top of the hill. The pinnacle is in sight. This is a good thing and a bad thing. It's bad because I still have the last push to the top that's the steepest. But it's great because I'm almost over the top and on the downward slope. One week until freedom. Well, not freedom but freedom in comparison to the last 2+ weeks. I have two major assignments down, two midterms and one group presentation to go. The following week I have another midterm but I'm just not going to count that because I want "this" bundle of stress to be over.

Now that I've sufficiently talked about school. This Saturday a freshman girl from my school got killed in a car accident. Another car was driving the wrong way on the freeway I believe (or on an inerchange or something) and hit her head on. She was killed instantly, and the two passengers in her car suffered a lot of external (but no internal) injuries. Today they had a service for her on campus. Yesterday in chapel our campus pastor urged us to go even if we didn't know her to show her family support. As he talked a bit about this girl I knew I should go. I had this huge lump in my throat and I was welling with tears, and I never even met this girl. Funny how someone you've never met can teach you so much. In an hour and fifteen minutes today I got a glimpse of who this girl was, and she sounded amazing. Her passion was definitely to serve other people. There was story after story about how she cared for people. And she didn't just do it generally, she was a detail type of person. She would find out what someone liked or what their needs were and would do something especially for them. She always put others first. At the beginning of the service our campus pastor talked a bit, and he mentioned the passage about the woman who annointed Jesus with perfume. He was saying how a lot of people might say, "this is such a waste" but they said the same thing about the woman. Just like she poured out the expensive perfume, this girl poured out her life to other people. And what she did will not be forgotten.

Last night I had a dream that an airplane crashed into my house. I watched it from our living room and thought, "that airplane is a bit closer than it should be" seconds before it made contact. I exchanged a look with either my mom or my dad as to say "oh shoot" and "goodbye" at the same time. Surprisingly (or not suprisingly since it was a dream), we managed to come out unharmed. Not even a bruise. How's that for realistic? The whole house should have really blown up. So for the rest of my dream, we had half an airplane sticking into one side of our house. How's that for random. And it was a Southwest plane, just in case you were wondering.

I'm super confused about what day it is. My school keeps giving us these random days off, which I really don't mind but it really messes me up in terms of keeping track of the week. We had last Tuesday off for a "School specific activity day." The School of Music did nothing, neither did the School of Theology or the School of Education and Behavioral Sciences (the schools of my roommates and myself). I'd like to think it was School specific sleeping day. And today is Common Day of Learning, better known as "common day of sleeping," "common day of going to the beach" or my personal favorite "common day of loafing" (notice it's still CDL). So I'm sitting around doing homework today. Such has been my life lately, and it will be for the next two weeks still. After March 16th I'll be pretty much free for a few weeks, or things will have settled down at least. Right now the level of homework has reached an all-time high. While I'm on top of things, the pile still looks daunting.

Let me ask you a question. What kind of professor makes 2/3 of your 8-10 page paper worth 20 points? Is that much work really worth it for a measly 20? I don't think I'm going to stress over this assignment. It's not worth it. (Note: chances are I probably will anyway).

So currently I'm sitting here typing this because I'm really tired of doing homework, namely an assignment for my conduction class which I've already put 20+ hours into this semester. I'm seriously going to cry with joy when it's over. Dear Jesus, let that day be soon. Or come back between now and then.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Thought we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
2 Corinthians 5:16-21

Maybe it sounds silly, but I don't think I ever got that before. I've heard the "new creation" verse a million times. It's a great one. But I never looked at it in context before. Well, I probably tried to but I just read over the surrounding verses really fast. How many times is a form of the word reconciliation used in this short passage? A ton! This passage is about how we treat other people! We're to treat them as new creatures in Christ, because that's what they are. We're not supposed to treat each other as we deserve, but we're supposed to be reconciled to each other just as Christ's death reconciled us to God. Amazing.

Well folks it's already Wednesday night and there's only two more days to go until the weekend. I had a lovely day off yesterday and was able to get a few things done. I had to go to Cal Poly Pomona to watch their Chamber Choir rehearsal. It's great when doing things like that actually constitutes getting work done. Later that night I went to a classical guitar concert here on campus. Amazing, and extremely relaxing. Unfortunately I was extremely tired yesterday, so all I wanted to do was fall asleep in my chair.

Speaking of falling asleep in my chair, that's all I wanted to do today too, though I'm feeling a bit more energetic right now. Let's hope it lasts through my science lab tonight. Today I kept seeing people with stuff on their forehead, and it took me ages to remember that today was Ash Wednesday. I really wish I'd realized that earlier and gone to a service. I haven't been to one for three years at least.

Phrase of the day, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light." Today our chapel speaker was long and drawn out, but she said that and it hit hard with me. I'm so stressed out lately. I need to take the yoke of Christ, not the yoke of slavery to school (ha!).

And one more time: IT'S RAINING AGAIN AND I'M SO EXCITED!

I figured I should put a service announcement up here. But first a small proclaimation.

IT'S RAINING OUTSIDE AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO KEEP RAINING ALL WEEK!

This makes me very excited in case you couldn't tell. Now on to the service announcement. If you visited my guestbook the day before yesterday and the top entry was some html code which either showed up as a picture or a locked entry, you may have received a virus. Two days ago I was checking my guestbook, and all of a sudden a message popped up from my virus scan software that I had received two viruses. After countless hours of looking, scanning, and deleting temporary internet files, the only conclusion I have is that my software killed them when they tried to get in. But, if you don't have virus scan software on your computer and you visited either my or Mel's guestbook a couple days ago, you may have a couple trojans on your computer. Sorry if that affects anyone. And just so you know it's deleted off of our guestbooks, but I think I'm going to be cautious about viewing it straight away for a while!

As you can see I got the bold fixed. I thought I'd actually failed again because my browser went psycho as I tried to publish, but it ended up working to my surprise.

Look at what happens when I actually don't have a lot of stuff going on. All of a sudden updates happen more than twice a month. Amazing how that works. I'm enjoying the lower stress level, but in the back of my mind all the things (mainly assignments) that the future holds looks overwhelming. I'm trying to plan and keep track of things. And when that doesn't do any good, I try to not think about it for a while. Sometimes the second method is more successful.

Today we had "creative arts" chapel. No one really knows what that means. I think it ends up being a bit different every year. So this morning I went into it with few expectations. The general attitude was "this is probably going to be lame." And I've got to say it wasn't the best chapel I've ever been to, but God did speak to me through it, and that's all I asked. This morning I asked God if there would just be one thing that I would learn this morning, one thing I could take away and mull over. It didn't matter if it was a certain aspect of his character or something in my life or something I need to work on. I just wanted there to be something. It took a while, but at the end there finally was. Once again God reminded me of war. That sounds nice doesn't it. I was reminded to take up my sword and shield and put on the armor he has commanded me to clothe myself with.

I am so concerned with this world. Completely sucked up into it. Who cares? Is my homework really that important? Is my school life really that important? I mean, who really gives a damn in light of eternity what my grade in physical science was. That doesn't mean I'm not going to try, but the things of God sure as heck better be a higher priority than that. They're so entirely not. I think right now at best the things of God are about fifth on my list. I need God at the top of that. To have his perspective on life, reality, what's important. God doesn't need to be at the top of that list, He needs to consume that list. Everything on that list needs to be of him and for him and by him. Why? Because it's important in light ot eternity. The way I live now affects eternity. I forget that all the time. The way I wage (or don't wage) war has a real affect on reality. The way I pray (or don't pray) for others has an affect on the present and the future. Jesus help me prioritize. I need you.

So The bold didn't show up. I tried to insert it (spent a lot of time editing in fact), then my internet decided to not work. See #49. I'll fix it later.

Well, the tests are over and both of them went fine. So now that I have those things off my shoulders, I need to do a little "nothing." Which means I deemed in necessary to fill out the huge survey everyone's been doing lately. So here it is via Mel, via Kara, via Tara.

Instructions:

1. Copy this whole list into your journal.

2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.

3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you. Take note, ALL 100 are about me, the bold ones I have in common with Mel. You bold what you have in common with me then make up new things about YOU for the rest.

Please add a comment if you do it so that I can come read it!

01. I?m not a big fan of Starbucks in general because I?m not a huge fan of espresso. Chai lattes are good.

02. I think the best sound in the world is people worshipping Jesus.

03. I like to read but it?s difficult to find time during school. Come quickly summer.

04. I?ve done a lot to change my life for the better...but Jesus has done more.

05. I love green beans if they?re not cooked. Once you cook them it?s disgusting.

06. I don?t have a job right now (and would be insane if I did), but I have the best job at home.

07. I have some regrets, but there's nothing I would change.

08. I?ve never had glasses. But I think my eyesight is slowly deteriorating. Last time I went in for a physical I had to guess on the last few letters on the chart. Good thing I guessed right.

09. I love to cook, and now that I'm at school, I do quite often.

10. I really don't like dogs... that smell. The rest of them are cute.

11. My favorite article of clothing currently is my Jennifer Knapp sweatshirt . . . or my GAP sweater

12. I have never been married.

13. I've never been to Bermuda.

14. I haven?t had a favorite color for many years. There are colors I like more than others, but none is my favorite.

15. I can?t believe I?m almost halfway through college. Praise God.

16. I enjoy a variety of musical styles.

17. I like to spend a lot of time by myself.

18. I like to just sit around and watch movies or tv on the weekends, but if I do it too much I start to feel depressed because I?m not doing anything productive.

19. I want to travel (all of) the world.

20. I am not a morning person.

21. I am a horrible dancer but I have no problem "dancing" and making a fool of myself if I?m only with Jesus.

22. There are not too many foods I refuse to eat, but oddly enough there are a few common things I don?t? really like such as sour cream, guacamole, and cream cheese.

23. I love the smell of coffee.

24. My hair looks damn hot in Texas. Of course, last time I was in Texas I had super short hair and it was platinum blonde. I don?t know how hot it would be there now.

25. My biggest vice is lack of discipline (in certain areas).

26. I consider myself very intuitive, but I think I?m often too afraid of being wrong to follow through on it, creating the image that I?m not intuitive. Or maybe I?m always wrong and I?m not intuitive at all. If I don?t try we?ll never know will we.

27. I can be creative at times.

28. I do not see much of my extended family.

29. I definitely have my times when I'm a bit too anal about things.

30. I love fruit.

31. I have a twin size bed that has a slight dip in the mattress, but it?s not as bad as last year.

32. I love baby animals. Like who?s going to say, ?Damn, kittens suck!???? This is only bold cause it's really funny.

33. I?ve had the same bedding at school the past two years and I don?t really care about it. I?ve had the same in my room at home for years and years, and again, I don?t even notice.

34. I admire my friends who have stepped out in faith and took the risk even when it didn?t make sense to most people around them.

35. I am tolerant of different points of view, but I don?t have to agree.

36. I?m pretty content with my finances, but then again I?m not. Let?s put it this way, I should be, but that doesn?t mean I always am.

37. I hate Halloween. I do however like the day before it.

38. I don't like to be the center of attention except on rare occasions like being on stage.

39. I absolutely hate to dress up unless it?s once or twice a year.

40. I have a sister that is almost 3 years older than me. She just turned 23. That weirds me out.

41. I really enjoy thoughtful gifts, even if they cost nothing.

42. I live to make people laugh and smile.

43. I?ve lived in California my whole life.

44. I don?t know what my fingernails would look like long because I?ve always bitten them. They?re longer now than they used to be, but they have to stay short for guitar.

45. I have limited patience when people are flaking for no reason.

46. Over the past couple of years I have really grown to love water.

47. I don?t tan. I used to when I was a kid, and now I don?t. Instead, now when we go to Hawaii I have to stay out of the sun because it will give me a heat rash. Lame.

48. I have seen all the Indiana Jones movies, though I don?t know if I?ve ever watched one straight through.

49. I obsess when my computer isn't working right, which is quite often at school.

50. I love road trips if I?m with the right people. With the family . . . probably not.

51. I like silence at times.

52. I am a Christian and totally committed to it and God, although I am NOT perfect. I still mess up.

53. I?m not sure I?ve ever drank a whole diet coke. Only if I was desperate.

54. I rarely procrastinate.

55. I don?t wear makeup unless I have a massive breakout going on ? i.e. a couple. I?m blessed with good skin.

56. I don't care about name brands for most things like food and medicine but I do for shampoo. I don?t buy it from the store. I?ve heard there are conspiracies. You also can?t buy generic mac and cheese.

57. I will never have curly hair, it?s too thick to hold anything.

58. I generally keep a cool head. I?m definitely the most even tempered out of all my roommates. I usually only freak out about stupid things, not things I should actually be concerned over.

59. I am not a member of the mile high club. Honestly I?m not even sure what the mile high club is.

60. I always know the location of my keys and purse except when I forget to put my keys back on the hook and keep them in my purse or backpack. That throws me off.

61. I love the rain. It?s raining right now! In southern California! YAY!

62. I always strive to do what's right, but it doesn't always happen that way. I would like to say that but it?s such a lie. I don?t always strive for what?s right, but the majority of the time I do.

63. I overreact about things sometimes.

64. I try to surround myself with really great people.

65. I have not tried a martini.

66. I like to people watch but after a while I?m over it. I can?t do it for hours like some people.

67. I like easy going people.

68. I?m not comfortable in really warm climates. I am miserable in the heat which is why northern California is the perfect place for me. Blasted 75 degree weather in Feb here.

69. I love peanut butter M&M's.

70. I like fun socks.

71. I hardly wear make-up.

72. I love the smell of clean clothes in the dryer.

73. I love my online friends . . . but I hate calling them that.

74. I have learned to say no.

75. I am SO thankful that God controls my future and he is faithfully leading me into it.

76. I definitely prefer pencils over pens. But they have to be mechanical. If it?s between a pen and a normal pencil, give me a pen.

77. I always have to have chapstick somewhere accessible to me. I freak out if my lips don't feel nice and lubricated.

78. My bra and panties are never a matched set. Who's going to see them!

79. My maternal instincts have somewhat kicked in. Sometimes I want kids, other times is scares me to death, other times I think they?d annoy the crap out of me.

80. I love my family. They're crazy sometimes, but I love them.

81. I own my own car.

82. My boobs are natural. I don?t want to insert comments because I already feel embarrassed enough about that statement as it is.

83. I love the smell of freshly showered guys, or at least I think I would. Haven?t been around too many.

84. I am not allergic to anything minus some minor seasonal allergies.

85. I don?t mind flying.

86. I daydream sometimes.

87. I was depressed last week but I think I?m fine now. I think having a couple tests off my shoulders helps.

88. I'm a really big fan of chick flicks, but not in excess. I can be over them fast.

89. I do NOT like spiders in Australia or anywhere. Except when they?re all over the bathroom ceiling in Australia, then it?s ok.

90. I think I'm a pretty laid back person most of the time, except when I?m really focused and need to get things done.

91. I am easily amused. I often think of funny moments during the day and have to keep myself from laughing out loud at them.

92. I'm ready for this list thing to be over.

93. I think it is ridiculous that all these celebrities nowadays have more money than they know what to do with, yet there are people everywhere who are poor and suffering and don't even have enough spare change to get some food . . . AMEN!

94. I have many acquaintances, but only a few I consider real friends.

95. I don't have many secrets from my friends.

96. I always appreciate honesty, even if the truth sometimes hurts.

97. I love to help people.

98. I miss Sydney.

99. I like to buy things for people just because...but I don't always.

100. I'm glad this is done!

Ten days. That's way better than my previous lapse. Obviously, things have become a bit hectic. I had a great last two weekends. Hanging out with the whole family was incredible, albeit exhausting. We had this last Friday off (instead of today) and I had a great weekend hanging with my roommies and our good friends down the road. We pretty much spent the weekend doing homework and hanging out with them. Nothing else.

So this week is sort of the week from hell. Well, it's the week from hell until the 2nd week of March rolls around. That one is going to be a thriller as well. I've got a physical science test tomorrow, and a philosophy test on Wednesday. I'm not really worried about tomorrow because so much of physical science is obvious. I just have this small fear that it's going to end up really hard and I'm going to fail the test in what should be my easiest subject. I don't think that's going to happen though, hense my typing here rather than continuing to review my study guide. I hate that class.

It's been ages, I know. As is the norm when this happens (and it happens often) let's do a quick recap of the last two weeks.
- Lots of school in general. Took three weeks but we finally had our first five day week of classes.
- Went to San Diego for my cousins birthday and had a great time with the fam down there.
- More school.
- After a two hour+ ordeal of a trip to LAX my roommate and I finally picked up Mel last Thursday.
- Kara drove out last Friday to hang out and to take Mel back to AZ the next day.
- Went to citywalk with Mel and Kara and a bunch of friends from school. Good times had by all. One of my friends read the hit book Once Upon a Potty to us over dinner. Don't ask. Well you can, but the answer probably won't be enlightening.
- Superbowl Sunday. Didn't watch the half time show. I'm still thanking God.
- More school

And that brings us to today! My parents and gma are flying down today and the whole family (like 20 people) are going to Disneyland for my gma's 80th birthday. I can't believe she's 80. She seriously looks 65. I'm counting on having her around for a good long time since she's in such great shape. I can't wait to see my family and my gma, it's going to be a great weekend. Currently I'm listening to Huey Lewis and the News. Yes, Huey Lewis from the 80s. He was my absolute favorite when I was in preschool. Can you imagine a 4 year old singing hip to be square? That must have been a funny sight for my mom. Beside that I'm just counting down the hours until I leave to pick everyone up from the airport and make the drive to Anaheim. Only 10 hours to go. Oi vey.

I just saw someone that I haven't seen for over eight months as I was walking back to my place from my last class. She was sitting on the lawn talking to someone, and I looked, looked twice, then looked a third time. By the second glance she had seen me too, so I was hoping if it was who I thought it was, that she would recognize me as well. And it was her - my RD from last year. I doubt I ever mentioned her, but she was a really large help especially first semester last year when my grandfather died. She and my RA were there when my mom called me and told me the news, and she (Jamie) held me while I sat on my dorm room floor and just bawled. They both helped me decide what I should do about going home (whether I should fly out that night or the next morning) and they both told me they'd do whatever necessary to help me. They left me alone for a while and I worked things out with my plane ticket, then I went down to my RD's, where she let me play guitar and hang out by myself for a while. She even had to leave for a meeting a bit later, but she let me stay in her place by myself and chill so I wouldn't have to face anyone. She drove me to the airport the next morning, and when I got back we talked many times about how things were going with me and with my family.

Needless to say, it was great to see her today. We haven't had contact for a long time so there was so much to talk about there was almost nothing to talk about. She did get my email though, and I'm going to be on her update list. She and her husband are leaving for South Africa next week and will be there for 10-11 months. I got to tell her that things are going well, I'm feeling well, and that my family is doing well. Mostly it was just good to be with her, even for just a brief moment. We didn't really have to see anything, it was enough to exchange a few words and see her face. So that was the bright spot in my day, if not my week. If you think of it, pray for Jamie and her husband Dave. They have a long trip ahead of them.

Last night was awesome. I went to church, had a good chat with Leah on the phone, and to top it off I watched the Two Towers with one of my roommates. She's trying to get me caught up so that we can all go see Return of the King together, so on Friday night we watched the first one, and last night we watched the second. Those movies are so good. Tolkien had so much imagination to come up with those things. It was really perfect too, because I started reading the Hobbit on my flight back here last weekend, so a lot of things made sense in the beginning that might not have made sense otherwise.

If you've seen the movies you know there's this nasty guy named Gollum (Frodo calls him by his hobbit name but I can't remember what that is right now). Gollum had the ring before Bilbo and Frodo got it, and it practically destoyed him. So, Gollum is living in turmoil because he wants to serve Frodo, but he also wants the ring. There are several scenes where Gollum is arguing with himself whether he should obey his master or kill him and get the ring. There's one scene in particular though that is totally amazing. This is the scene where Gollum actually tells the "other" part of him, the part that wants the ring, to leave. And it does leave. Now, this isn't a climactic part of the movie by any means, but in that scene out of all the three hours of the movie I found myself crying. Why? I could identify with his plight. We go through spiritual battles in much of the same way. There have been tons of times where I've argued internally, trying to distinguish between Satan's lies and the truth of God. I think that's what Tolkien was going for too.

It's Sunday. You know what that means? It means my roommates and I get to listen to music blaring outside our window until about 4pm. Why don't we just ask them to turn the music down? Why don't we just talk to our RA? We can't, because the music isn't coming from someone on campus. It's from the flea market next door. And there isn't a dang thing we can do about it.

That actually is one of the benefits to going to church in the morning, because you'll miss several hours of the 80s/latin music blast. Unfortunately I've discovered that I just don't do well at morning services. I can go to one, sure, but why do it when I can go to church in the evening and be so much more awake and aware. Unfortunately that leaves me sitting here in my room listening to the bassline of who knows what horrible song. It's kind of like that game Name that Tune on crack.

All my classes turned out to be alright. I'm not sure there are any I particularly love but none of them are horrible either, so it'll work out ok. A lot of them are actually just continuations of what I took last semester. Yesterday I read the entire book of Luke as an assignment for one of my classes. Funny how that worked out. I guess I was meant to read it one way or another. That's one class that could turn out to be cool, now that I think about it. It's called Luke/Acts, but everyone I've talked to has always had a lame prof for that class so they haven't really liked it. You end up thinking it's going to be so cool but you come out dissappointed. Well, I had my first go at in on Wenesday (it's a once a week evening class) and I thought it was pretty cool. I have a bunch of friends in the class, the prof is really nice, and I really thought what we learned was interesting. To top things off the class is going to be an hour shorter every week because he has to drive to Irvine to teach somewhere else. That leaves me with a great dinner break before lab.

I'm taking a class called History of Modern Philosophy. Several times yesterday I found myself wishing I was taking Ancient instead of Modern so that I could relate it to Biblical times and see what kinds of thinking were prominent during Jesus' day and the times that the New Testament was written. Maybe another semester if I have time for it. Anyway, I am excited about this class, even if it is a lot of history. Normally I have a really hard time relating history to my life in any way, but I feel like this class is so relevant because I can see how philosophies have shaped peoples' thinking today. It's funny when you finally see a foundation for a certain way you think and you ask "Do I just think this way because I've been told to all my life?" I haven't been in the class long enough to give a bunch of examples, though we did go over a few things Friday. I'm sure as they come up I'll have to express my thoughts somewhere though.

I'm going to San Diego next weekend, Mel's coming the next, my parents are coming the next. All I have to do is get through this week and it's on to good times. Thank goodness.

I'm almost through my first week of classes. It's left me exhausted, and it wasn't even a full week. It's not really more trying than last semester was, I'm just not used to the grind yet. Thankfully we have a three day weekend coming up, and several of my classes on Tuesday are cancelled. That should make for another easy week.

I've had a lot of mixed feelings about being back here. In some respects it's really awesome. It's so much fun to see friends and hang out and laugh and have a good time. I didn't even realize how much I missed chapel either...just the time set aside to worship and hear the Word. Going to church at home just once a week is such a change, especially when I'm on the worship team all the time. I love playing for church, but sometimes it's so hard to really focus on God during those times.

But there are other times that I really don't want to be here. Maybe it's the pressure, maybe it's the grind, maybe it's the fact that I have to take responsibility for so many things again. Who wants to wash dishes? I miss the dishwasher and having the washer and dryer right in our house. I miss seeing my family every day. But I think I mostly miss the escape from problems and pressures that exist here. I want life to be easy- to be a vacation. But I can't live that way forever. I'm kind of caught in that reality right now...not really wanting to let go but knowing I have to. I'm facing that fact that when I'm not doing anything I often feel worthless, like a slacker, undisciplined. I have this need to perform, to do, which I can't explain. Well I could explain it to you, but I don't want to. Here it is in a nutshell: I've been suceeding my whole life. It's all I know. Sometimes I'm afraid to fail, and I think I put a lot more of my worth into that than I realize...at least with some things.

Though abrupt I'm going to stop there. I think I'm semi-braindead from all the activity this week. Praise God I only have one class tomorrow, then I'm free for three days.

Wow. I'm way behind. And I don't really have the time right now to do much catch up because I have a voice lesson in 45 minutes and my hair is still soaking wet. So let's just do a quick summary.

Spent a large portion of my break working at the music store.
Hard times struck when a guitar teacher from the store passed away suddenly. (funeral was yesterday)
Got a $50 bonus on my last paycheck because one of my bosses just likes me. No complaints.
Had a great time hanging out with my family, and the goodbyes were tough even though I know I'll see them in a month.
Arrived back at school Saturday afternoon, still with mixed feelings about being here.
Went to a new church last night and saw Mel's former roommate Karen.
Went bowling with friends that were totally out of control.
Came back and found a bunch of people at our place watching Mulan.
Watched Mulan for the second night in a row.
That brings us to today. Thus far I've showered and eaten breakfast, and it's already past noon. We're lazy here sometimes.

Merry Christmas to all . . . and to all a good night!

Just kidding, it's only 12:45. In the spare moments I have between morning festivities and when family arrives this afternoon, I wanted to record something I realized yesterday. Last night I played guitar and led singing for one of our church's two Christmas eve services. The service was at 5pm, and was advertised as a kid-friendly service. We had some kids read a poem, sung a couple fun songs for them, and the service was a bit shorter than usual. One of the songs that we sang was Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. The woman that runs the Children's ministry at our church wrote a Christmassy second verse for it. It was so cute. Not just that, the whole service. We sung Hark the Herald Angels sing, and they had given all the kids angels wings and told them to dance in the aisles during the song. Can anyone think of anything cuter than our pastor's three year old daughter dancing around the building wearing her pink Christmas dress and angels wings? She even decided to come to the front during her rounds.

But the thing I realized that was so funny actually has to do with the song Twinkle Twinkle. Ok, what in the world could be profound about Twinkle Twinkle? Nothing to my knowledge, this isn't profound. Eight years ago this December, my mom was running the Children's service at our church on Christmas eve. Each class was doing something different, and some of the younger kids were going to sing Twinkle Twinkle. My mom needed to find someone to play guitar for the kids while they sang. So I decided that I was going to take out her old guitar and learn how to play Twinkle Twinkle. Let me tell you, I definitely did not play for the kids on Chistmas eve. C F and G are dang hard chords for a 12-year-old's hands! But I was inspired, and that inspiration stuck.

So here I am, eight years later leading singing at our church on Christmas eve, and what song do we sing? Twinkle Twinkle. The song that started at all. And for that, I owe a debt of gratitude. Thank you, Twinkle Twinkle. You have changed my life in some obscure way.

I've been home for a week, and I haven't managed a single blog . . . I know. It's not like I haven't had the time. I've had plenty of time on my hands. I just haven't been up to much. We managed to lose power yet again on my first weekend home. Luckily it was only out for two hours and it was during the middle of the night. Much better than the two day episode last year. Don't ask, not a happy memory.

So I've mainly been hanging out, playing my guitar, recording a little bit, probably spending too much time on the computer, sleeping, and reading. I managed to put about four hours in at work yesterday night for an after hours sale we were having. It was nice to see everyone again (because literally everyone was there) and to have something to do and get paid for it. I'm going to work a couple hours in the office tomorrow which will be nice I think. I'm the type of person that needs something to do, otherwise I get bored and depressed and lonely. But not too bad, don't get all worried about me.

Actually it's funny, because I made a weird sort of connection today. I've been reading The Sacred Romance and thus far it's been talking a lot about the inner desires of our heart (the romance) that God has put in us. Opposing the romance are "arrows", those things which pierce our hearts and tell us we're foolish, there isn't something greater for our lives, that we're to be fearful. So I've been thinking about the Romance and the Romancer and what my desires are and how those relate to Him. Now, I have this deal with having nothing to do. I think it makes me feel unproductive . . . but it's more than that. And today I was thinking maybe that has something to do with my intuition that there's really more to life, that I'm meant to do something better, something lasting, something . . . I don't know. But my heart yearns for it. Even these stupid days of Christmas vacation and I try and try not to but I eventually find myself zoning out in front of the tv. Today I managed not to flick it on until about 3:30, and as I did I had this inner conversation - I guess it was a conversation with God as well - that I was smoldering something, repressing something by flicking it on. I was crushing some inner desire I had for something more. But what's one to do? I only have so many ideas of places to go and things to see. And let's face it, living in northern california there isn't always that much to do.

So where does that leave me? I know we need time to rest and time to kick back, and I know Christmas break is meant to be one of those times. God knows I'm glad to have a break from school. But I also know that there's a difference between rest and laziness. And I can't stand the laziness. But I also have tried to fill the laziness with "stuff" over and over again and I've seen that it doesn't work. So what does that mean? Am I meant to just pick up my Bible every single time I have nothing to do? Ok, I guess that's not a super bad idea but it seems a bit out of proportion or something. I'm kinda struggling with this today and I know that it's a good thing, it's just hard not to have immediate answers.

So here I am again with a lot of questions and not so many answers. I've grown pretty accustomed to this place over the last several months, so it's not surprising when the questions keep coming. They're good though, they're challenging me and helping me find a new intimacy with God. It's by no means over but I think things are going somewhere, which is encouraging. And with that, I'm out.

The day has finally arrived. It's been a long week, and today will be a long day, but I'm finally going home. For a month. That's a long time. Finals up to this point have gone smoothly. I'm not sure why, but I feel particularly uptight about today's tests. I know I'm in good shape for them and I know what I need to know, but I have this feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. Last night it took me an hour and a half to fall asleep, and this morning I got up half an hour before my alarm. I think when I get home tonight I'll be exhausted.

I'm torn about going home. I'm so excited for the break and the chance to see my family. There are a couple friends I'm anxious to see after so many months apart. I can't wait to have no homework. I'm going to miss it here a lot though. I'll miss my roommates, miss my friends, miss chapel...all the good things about school. I'll miss my philosophy class too. I can't wait to be at home and just relax and think. That's something I've had very little time for this semester, and I'm glad I'll be able to go home and process a lot of stuff that's been floating around my mind.

One more random thing, all my roommates took a pretty famous personality test online and the results of mine seriously scared me. They have lists describing characteristics of people of each type divided into different categories like emotions, at home, at work, etc. The first ten or so characteristics were exactly like me. My mouth was gaping open. And for anyone that's familiar with this tests, I came out as a strong Meloncholic (over half of my total points), with a bit of phlegmatic. You can see what those things are here.

Isaiah 61

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.
5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
6 And you will be called priests of the LORD ,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

8 "For I, the LORD , love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

10 I delight greatly in the LORD ;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

Ok so if anyone really wants to know what's going on in my life I guess this isn't the best source of information you could have. Then again I think about three people read anyway so it doesn't matter too much. Anyway, thanksgiving is over, I'm back at school and things are in full force. I have my last paper due tomorrow, the first half of a final to take on Thursday, and my typical day of/calm before the storm Friday. Saturday are juries for voice lessons, all day Monday will be spent in Orange County for our end-of-semester performance with Linda Eder. Tuesday the madness of finals begins, and will last an intense three days until Thursday afternoon from whence I will pack up all my stuff and fly home. I'm not sure if I'm going to have time to breathe in between all these things. Then again, I'm breathing now so I must be ok.

Thanksgiving with the family was great. It was nice to be up north and experience a little cold and rain. It's nice to be at a house that isn't so ghetto and drive around on roads and freeways I feel comfortable on. I stopped by my work and was reassured that I am welcome to work over Christmas break - all four weeks of it.

In the meantime, things are surreal here. Actual classes are easy - reviews for finals and evaluations, but outside of class the pressure is mounting. Thus far we're all trying to keep each other sane by making sure we get the appropriate amount of goof-off time and sleep. It'll all be ok, it's just going to be the longest two weeks of my life. Ready go.